


Love Actually is the Worst

by RebelPaisley



Series: Love Potion Chad [1]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Adult Language, Angst, Attempted Magical Deceit, Badass Chad, Badass Jane, Ben is not good at planning, Ben's A+ planning skills, Comedy, Complete, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cuddling & Snuggling, Descendants 1, F/F, F/M, Fake Dating, Force-Feeding, Hand Feeding, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Love Potion gone wrong, M/M, Mild Pain Kink, Minor Physical Assault, Multi, No Beta we die like vikings, Non-con Aphrodisiac, Not Audrey friendly, OT7, Pampering, Physical Abuse, Political Intrigue, Political Power Dynamics, Polyamory, Power Moves, Practice Makeouts, Referenced Malnourishment, Referenced Restricted Diet, Romance, Scheming, Slut Shaming, Smart Chad, Someone had to be the bad guy and she drew the short straw, Verbal Abuse, gratuitous make outs, non-explicit sexual situations, oblivious chad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 70,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22321498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelPaisley/pseuds/RebelPaisley
Summary: Chad, unlike Ben, has some sense of self-preservation.  So when he sees Mal offering the crown prince of Auradon a cookie, he eats it before Ben gets a chance to, and maybe gets love-potioned in the process.  Which is just entirely inconvenient when he’s trying to keep the future king of Auradon in one piece, and also make sure the VKs settle in, you know, not horribly.It’s a difficult, stupid job, but someone has to do it.Also known as:Chad’s adventures in loving the mess the is Benjamin Florian and making new friends who occasionally try to poison people.  What a life.
Relationships: Ben/Chad Charming, Ben/Chad Charming/Doug/Evie/Jay/Mal/Carlos de Vil, Chad Charming/Carlos de Vil, Chad Charming/Doug, Chad Charming/Evie, Chad Charming/Evie/Doug, Chad Charming/Jay, Chad Charming/Mal, Evie/Jay/Mal/Carlos de Vil
Series: Love Potion Chad [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657918
Comments: 225
Kudos: 319





	1. The Purest of Hatreds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my second story for the Descendants fandom! I don’t know what about this fandom (and Chad specifically) I find so inspiring, but I’ve got like a dozen or so messy, dumb love stories in the works and this cliché love-potion-gone-wrong is but one of them. I hope you all enjoy it!

“So _was_ there anything in that cookie?” Lonnie asked, as though Chad would splay himself across Jane’s bed in a pathetic representation of misery if something _hadn’t_ been in it.

Jane tugged at her hair nervously, rechecking the chemical breakdown of the cookie one last time. “Based on its components it looks like a um… love potion was in it.”

“Wait.” Lonnie sat up straighter, the way she did whenever there was a delicious morsel of gossip dangling just out of her grasp. “Are you saying Chad’s in love with someone? Is he in love with _Ben?_ ”

“I hate him,” Chad muttered, clutching at his chest and cursing the world in its entirety because fuck this eternal devotion _bullshit_. “I hate him and his stupid goddamn face. I hope he falls in a vat of lava. I hope he gets a million papercuts. Going around eating random cookies like _‘Nah, it’s fine, I’m just going to be **king** is all, who needs caution?’_. Fucking _bullshit_.”

“This… does not seem like love,” Aziz noted from his position by the window, but Chad was aware of how little this came from a place of concern because he’d only climbed in to mock Chad’s suffering, and maybe take blackmail pictures for a future date.

“No, this is love,” Lonnie managed between laughs. “This is how Chad loves. Aggressively.” 

“I hate him,” Chad moaned, burying his face in Jane’s pillow. Maybe if he said it enough times, it would stick. Maybe if he said it enough times this relentless magic-driven infatuation would evaporate from his very bones and let him _think_ clearly again. “ _Fuck_.”

“I don’t get it,” Aziz slid further into the room, wandering over towards Jane’s desk. “He was normal during the game.”

“Love potions aren’t as all-encompassing when you’re already in love with the target,” Jane said, just _casually_ giving away Chad’s biggest secret that everyone in the room already knew but was polite enough not to _discuss_. Unless they were Aziz, because Chad didn’t want Aziz to know _shit_. He was worse than Lonnie.

“Oh- _ho_.” The Agrabah prince turned his stupid waggling eyebrows at Chad. “What’s that? Chad was _already_ in love with-?”

“Shut _up_ ,” Chad hissed, thinking about Ben’s stupid smile and his stupid laugh and his stupid easy generosity that led him to almost eat cookies from strangers that didn’t have a thorough security check. “He’s charming and I hate him.”

“You keep telling yourself that, boo.” Lonnie consoled, patting his head in a poor attempt at comfort. “Why do you think Mal wanted to love potion Ben anyway?”

“Probably because Audrey’s a piece of shit,” Chad muttered. “Likely wanted to break them up and also having the prince as a lovesick ally is a pretty good idea – survival wise. In fact-” He turned to Aziz. “You should go ahead and find a way to break up Ben and Audrey anyway. We all know she’d be a terrible queen.”

“Would Mal be better?” Lonnie asked, genuinely curious.

“Politically? Probably.” If they were able to continue pushing the prison reforms through the council’s approval process, the majority of the Isle residents would be released into Auradon soon, and they would need a champion. He turned back to Aziz. “Just- try to get her to dump _him_ in a fit of rage and then we’ll line someone up for Ben before she can come to her senses. You can give her some consolation prince to keep her from going off the rails. Not _me-_ ” Because Chad’s vague persona would be a perfect target for Audrey’s manipulating ways. “But _somebody_.”

“Sure you’re not asking because _you_ want to be with Ben?” Aziz joked, snapping a photo of Chad’s pissy retaliatory expression. “Get Audrey out of the way so you can snag him for yourself?”

“I can’t give Ben children, Aziz.” And until the ban on magic was lifted again, they couldn’t _magically_ create children like Fairy Godmother had with Jane and introducing a surrogate into the mix only created potential power struggles in the future. There was always finding a lesbian couple to create families with, but again, that generally led to more power issues than it was worth, and also _Ben was not gay_. Chad had already had this issue with his stupid crush on Doug. 

“You know women can do more than bear children, Chad,” Lonnie said in a dangerous tone that indicated she was about to go on one of her equal opportunity rants.

“And you know _I_ already know that, Lonnie, but King Adam’s never going to give a pass on me or any guy for that _exact_ reason,” Chad shot back, because he had already agreed on and helped with every point in Lonnie’s argument. “Also, _Ben is not gay_.”

“Pretty sure he’s bi,” Aziz said, forever unhelpful. “Or pan? I don’t think he cares.”

“Which means he wouldn’t care enough to fight for- why are we having this argument? Go work on their breakup or something.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Aziz muttered, rolling his eyes. “But don’t take your unrequited love out on me.”

“My _magic_ unrequited love, _thanks_.”

“Sure.” Aziz rolled his eyes, climbing back out the window. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“Fucker,” Chad muttered when the window shut behind the other prince. Chad hated this. He _hated_ it. Things had been manageable before but _now_ he wanted to be with Ben all the time. Wanted to dance with him and sing for him and it was very unconducive to some of the more delicate plans he had in place so if his heart could just- fuck off for a hot minute that would be great.

Jane sighed. “Want to go to the Enchanted Lake?”

“Looks like I’ll have to.” Get the burning passion down to more manageable levels that he could shove into the far corners of his mind. “Lonnie?”

“I’ll keep an eye on Mal,” she offered. “They’re scared. I just wonder what they’re scared of.”

“Change,” Chad replied. “Everything here is completely different from what they know. Of course they’re scared.”

“When you say it like that, you almost _don’t_ sound like a lovesick asshole,” Lonnie chirped. She hopped off the bed before Chad could swipe at her, shifting into her cheerful schoolgirl persona the same way a warrior put on armor. “Have fun swimming, _Chadwick_.”

“I hope you stub your toe!” Chad shot back.

Jane sighed. “I hope we make it through coronation.”

Yeah, that made two of them. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

So it went like this.

The moment Chad saw Mal offering Ben a cookie of the homemade variety he got suspicious, because Chad had been raised with a healthy sense of paranoia that had helped him survive three assassination attempts and Ben had been raised on sunshine and friendship and _fair play_. Bottom line, Ben sort of took the idea of self-preservation and eagerly hurled it out the window, which left people like Chad and Jane and Lonnie to have to do it _for_ him, because Ben lived the fairy tale life the rest of them only sort of dreamed about. 

The cookie in itself was mildly suspect (why was there only one? _Red flags, people_ ), the way Mal goaded Ben into taking it sealed the deal on _that-is-not-good-shit_ status, so Chad had only hesitated for about half a second before slapping on his cheerfully oblivious dumb guy persona who didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to other people’s boundaries before snagging the treat for himself, cramming half of it in his mouth before giving Ben a cheerful wink ( _too slow, bro_ ). 

And then Chad was hit with an overwhelming rush of _Ben-yes-fuck-need-love-you-love-you- **love** - **you** _that he had managed to coax into the background _years_ ago, and Chad decided he may not know _what_ exactly was in this cookie, only that he was glad Ben had eaten it.

Mal did not seem to share this notion, but Mal was also not that great at drugging people so Chad didn’t really care about her opinion.

That was how it started.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Ben continued his streak of being the most inconvenient human being in the world by somehow managing to be at the Enchanted Lake when Jane and Chad got there, clad in swim trunks and a stupid school t-shirt and also _Mal_ was there for _whatever_ fucking reason.

The rest of her crew were there, too, so it wasn’t _horrible_ , only it sort of was because Ben was taking off his shirt and being stupid and charming and Chad hated him.

“Chad!” Evie was the one who spotted him first – perfect Evie who Chad genuinely didn’t understand because he acted about as clever as a potato but she was totally onboard with that. He’d suspected she was only into him for reasons similar to Audrey’s, except Evie was either a better actor or was actually desperate for his affection and he didn’t know which was worse.

But Evie _was_ also very pretty and Chad liked pretty things (or pretended to like pretty things) so he returned her greeting with a wink that left her giggling. 

“Evie,” he said smoothly, making a concentrated effort to ignore the way Ben was bouncing over to them. “You look ravishing as always.”

“Thanks,” Evie giggled, twirling a strand of silky hair around her finger and were Chad legitimately dumb and not stupidly in love with Ben, he would totally be all over this flirting business. “Back at you.”

“Chad!” Ben was eight times too loud for how close he was, making Carlos roll his eyes from his position by the lake. “And Jane!” he added belatedly. “What’s up, guys?”

“Oh, you know.” Chad stepped closer to Jane so he wouldn’t do anything stupid like throw himself into Ben’s bare chest. “Just going for a celebratory swim. Since it’s so hot.”

“Right, hot,” Jane said after Chad nudged her elbow. “You know how the mascot suit gets. We were just gonna-” She motioned towards the water in that fluttery little wave of hers.

“That’s actually why we’re here,” Ben said. “You know, as a celebration.”

Mal perked up with a frown. “ _That’s_ why you brought us here?”

“Dude.” Carlos had an incredulous look on his face. “We can’t swim.”

To that point, Jay had been silent, though that was likely due to the fact that he was trying to memorize the curves of Ben’s back. Not that Chad could blame him, but he also sort of wanted to blame him and claw out his dumb eyes at the same time. So.

Chad sighed. “Did you bring four people out here for a celebratory swim without checking to see if they could actually, you know, _swim?_ ”

“They lived on an island,” Ben defended himself evenly, still very much _not wearing a shirt_.

“Yeah, with a barrier around it,” Mal scoffed. “You guys go swim. We’ll watch.”

That was actually super fine with Chad who took the excuse for what it was.

“Awesome. Hey look, Jane, there’s a boulder we should totally jump off of.”

“Um.” The young fairy blushed. “I don’t know if I actually-”

And then Chad was dragging her away, because like _hell_ was he doing this by himself.

“He’s so dumb,” Chad muttered as he pulled his shirt off, flexing for Jane’s appreciation because it made her laugh. “That dumb, stupid human is going to be king some day and I _hate it_.”

“Just get in the water, Chad.” Jane sighed, sliding out of her sundress to reveal a tasteful one-piece swimsuit. “We’ll try to save Ben from his dumb planning later.”

“Ugh, you’re _right_ ,” Chad groaned, and then he jumped into the water, but not _until_ he made a show of flexing for Evie because she hadn’t fucked him over with his homework like he’d honestly been expecting her too. 

Maybe she was making a long play. He’d find out later. 

Doug had once said that having an enchantment removed from you was a lot like coming up for a breath of fresh air. Not that Chad’s roommate had ever experienced as much first hand, but the dwarf-kin had made an effort to research the magical heritage of his home kingdom, which involved a lot of potions and enchantments and so called ‘cleansing breaths that spoke of freedom from weighted chains you hadn’t known existed in the first place’.

That said, the moment Chad popped back above the surface, he didn’t feel any different. He didn’t feel any different when he ducked himself under again, or when he stayed under holding his breath as long as he could, _or_ when he drank a bit of the very unpurified, natural, magic water well. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Chad hissed after his multitude of failures. “This is _bullshit_. It’s still-” He cut himself off with a scowl.

“Well…” Jane began slowly, which meant she’d had a secret theory all along she had preferred not to share until it was necessary, and now it was unfortunately necessary. “There is a chance that because you _already_ loved Ben that um- the potion just enhanced what you already had. So. You don’t have the drawbacks of all-consuming _need_ , but you are um-”

“In turbo _stupid_ love with him, _fuck_.” Chad couldn’t pitch a fit because the VKs were still very much staring at them, and Ben was waving like the dumb _dope_ he was every time he thought he had their attention. “This is it. I am no longer going to be useful. I hope you and Aziz and Lonnie are okay with protecting Auradon because I have been severely compromised.”

Jane, who was accustomed to dealing with Chad’s fits over the years, simply rolled her eyes. “Stop being such a drama queen, Chad. Danger to Auradon stops for no one, least of all your dumb heart.”

“It’s friendships like this that really make life meaningful,” Chad muttered, and probably shouldn’t have been surprised when Jane dunked him the following moment.

“Just double-checking,” she said sweetly when he came up for air, and then they might have started splashing water at each other because it was this or help Ben’s dumb face and Chad could think of a lot of _other_ things he wanted to do with that face and most of them weren’t polite for company.

“For the record, I hate that guy.”

“I _know_ Chad,” Jane sighed, and then she dunked him again.

You know, like a good friend.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Here was a fun story.

Once upon a time Chad had been instructed to be not only the best prince he could be, but the best _backup_ he could be to the Auradon crown. Because good kings needed good allies, and sometimes the best allies were the ones that no one suspected. Which was why Chad had been groomed to be cunning and forever aware of his surroundings in private while being a ‘loveable’ but vague goof in public. Charming, of course, because that was the way of Sardinia, though while his father’s charm was based in a quiet sort of kindness Chad’s had to be all flash because times were changing and communication was better, so it was easier to say ‘that Prince Chad guy might be a problem so let’s keep an eye on him’ only an ‘eye on him’ meant ‘stab him a lot’. 

So Chad was dumb, in public. Air headed and vain but ultimately harmless. And aside from a few trusted individuals, that was all anyone knew. That was all anyone cared about.

And then there was _Ben_.

And Chad hated him.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Eventually, they paddled their way over to where Ben was trying to sell the VKs on the benefits of swimming. As far as Chad could tell, it wasn’t going that great, but Evie was giggling and Jay was ogling Ben’s chest so Chad supposed they were getting _something_ out of the exchange.

“We could teach you to swim, if you wanted,” Ben offered once Chad and Jane had drawn close enough, giving his best _‘don’t leave me hanging you know you want to **help** ’ _puppy eyes that Chad had been weak to _before_ the stupid love cookie, and _now_ he just wanted to flop back into the Enchanted Lake and let the water take him.

“ _If_ you wanted,” Chad stressed, giving Evie another wink before splashing Ben right in the face, because if anyone deserved the harassment, it was him.

“It’s not that hard,” Jane murmured, doing that thing where she mostly hid behind Chad but also splashed Ben because he was stupid. “Your basic survival instincts will get you most of the way through.”

“Like floating!” Chad chirped, then made a demonstration of floating on his back so he could let the water in his ears drown out Ben’s terrible ideas.

“What, are you saying we can do that?” Jay asked, shifting his ogling from Ben’s chest to Chad’s – _as he should_. 

“Everyone can do it,” Jane said. “It’s basic physics.”

“And then from there, you just-” Ben made a show of paddling around. “You just have to trust the floating thing.”

“You look stupid,” Mal said, and Chad couldn’t choke down his laugh because it _was_ funny. 

“I mean, he’s not drowning,” Carlos sort of defended. “So it’s not _that_ stupid.”

“Depends on how enthusiastic you are about swimming, I guess,” Mal drawled.

“You guys seemed to be having fun over there,” Evie cut in, fluttery gaze on Chad. “You stayed under for a while.”

“Oh, you know.” Chad tossed his hair, trying to block out the feel of Ben’s eyes on him. “I was just improving my cardio.”

Carlos frowned. “I don’t think that’s how cardio works.”

“Don’t question a guy’s workout routine, Carlos,” Chad said, leveling a vague finger at the teen. “We each gotta do what we gotta do.”

“So is that why you and Jane came out here?” Mal pressed, slinking down the steps towards the edge of the water. “To work out?” Chad wasn’t entirely sure _how_ to reply because they literally already explained why they were there when Mal continued. “Sure you’re not on a date? Since it’s just the two of you?”

“What? A girl can’t try to drown a guy in a lake without it being romantic?” Chad asked before he could think better of it, still heartsick and furious over _Ben_ and _Mal_ who had made the **_Ben_** situation _so much worse_.

“I didn’t _drown_ you,” Jane muttered, rolling her eyes.

“Well, obviously because I’m still alive,” Chad shot back. “Jane and I are bros.”

“Friends.”

“Pals.”

“Amigos.”

“What the hell’s an amigo?” Carlos asked, who seemed to be getting more confused as the conversation went on. 

“The Avalor word for ‘friend’.” Chad tried to ignore the weird shift of tension to non-tension that had settled on Ben’s shoulders, but unfortunately Chad was just- terribly aware of everything Ben-related. “Sorry to crush your gossip-related hopes, but I am-” He turned back to Evie with a grin. “Tragically available.”

“Really?” Mal cooed and _oh_ , did she not like him. “I just find it so hard to believe that a stud like you can be single.”

“I know,” Chad sniffed. “I must be very intimidating.”

He was gracious enough to ignore Jay’s choked snort of laughter.

“But you know, Evie,” Chad continued, because he knew an opportunity to spy on people when he saw one. “If you’d be interested in-”

Between one moment and the next, Chad found himself underwater. 

He was underwater because Ben had _tackled him_.

“What the hell, _Benjamin?_ ” Chad managed to sputter before he was being dunked, _again_. 

He was able to shove Ben away (ignoring the fact that he’d touched bare skin, bare skin was beneath his hands and he wanted to _lick it_ ) so he could _breathe_ again, and came up to Ben’s not entirely apologetic smile.

“I wanted to give that mock-drowning thing a try,” he explained cheerfully. “Jane made it seem like fun.”

“It _is_ good stress relief,” Jane allowed

“This is assault,” Chad whined. “Battery. You could have ruined my _hair_.”

“I thought that helped out your cardio,” Carlos chirped, seeming to bypass confusion to arrive back at amused again.

“Holding your breath does,” Chad clarified. “Not the dunking. That’s just- roughhousing.”

“And that’s it?” Jay asked, kicking off his boots. “You just dunk and splash and that’s ‘hanging out’?”

“I mean, it depends,” Chad began, and then he sort of dropped off because Jay was… stripping. He was- that was what he was doing.

He heard Jane squeak behind him.

“Um.” Ben said. “I uh- thought I told you guys to bring swimsuits.”

“Yeah, we don’t know what those are,” Carlos said which, _fair_.

Chad gave Ben another disappointed look, then abandoned his pursuit to quietly chastise the prince to bemoan Auradon’s future with Jane.

“Okay, so I should have clarified some things,” Ben allowed, because he might be dumb but even he couldn’t miss that silent judgement.

“Whatever,” Jay said, keeping his undershirt on but shucking off his pants. “Water’s water. Let’s _play_.”

“You make it sound so ominous,” Chad muttered, and then Jay was cannonballing into the water and reaching for _Chad_ and it all just sort of settled into pandemonium from there.

-:-:-:-:-:-

At a very young age, Chad had decided to hate Ben.

Mostly this was a survival mechanism, because they would hang out as young children and, as young children did, they would wander away from their keepers to go on ‘adventures’ and end up covered in mud with half the kingdom panicking, laughing up a storm and carelessly wrestling with each other because they did not possess a full understanding of the consequences of their actions.

Except even from a young age, Ben was kind. Chad could slip in the mud and instead of laughing at him Ben would get himself dirty out of solidarity. If Chad ‘lost’ his sweet roll (distractedly fed it to the birds, because some of his mother’s love of animals had passed through) Ben would split his, and even though Dumb Chad had nothing of real interest to say, Ben would always listen attentively. He would read books to him when Chad had renounced them, would let Chad ride behind him on his horse during that short period of time where Chad was terrified of them because one of the more testy horses in his own stables had thrown him off (it was an assassination attempt that didn’t quite work out, but stubborn horses were the story they were all sticking with).

In short, Ben had always been sort of perfect, so Chad had to hate him. Because if Chad didn’t hate him, he would have to admit he was stupidly, totally, and unequivocally in love with this frustrating human being, and that _wouldn’t work_. Chad was supposed to be Ben’s ally, and he couldn’t do that if he was Ben’s consort, couldn’t protect him from afar if he was _right next to him_.

So Chad had shoved his feelings down through necessity, had laughed and made fun of Ben even when the other prince refused to reciprocate. As soon as he was able to Chad dated any and every one, tried to walk the tightrope of constantly connected while remaining single. A ladies’ man, but not one to be tied down. It worked, and he was still Ben’s friend, but it was also still sort of horrible because Chad wanted _more_ than that.

It was almost a relief when Ben started dating Audrey because it was obvious he wasn’t _in love_ with her, but they were good together, and that was what mattered. Chad didn’t want to tear out her eyeballs for the simple crime of being female because she didn’t actually have Ben’s heart – they were both just doing their _duty_ , like Chad did _his_ , so everything was fine.

Everything was fine.

-:-:-:-:-:-

While Mal and Carlos were determined to stay on the sidelines, Evie was more than happy to strip down to a silky dress slip and join the others in the lake, and (after) they spent time trying to drown each other, Ben and Jane taught them how to float, Chad making himself mostly useless and stretching out beside Mal to soak up the sun and be generally obnoxious. He may or may not have caught Carlos staring at him from time to time, though whether it was in a threat assessment or to take in the view, Chad did not know. Maybe it was both.

“So, _Chad_ ,” Mal began when Ben started his lesson on kicking, holding onto Jay’s hands so the other teen could get into the swing of things. “How are you feeling?”

Like a damn idiot. “Pretty good,” he lied. “Since we won the game. Jay was awesome, by the way. Terrifying, but awesome.”

“That is his goal,” Carlos muttered, then went back to working on what seemed to be a Frankenstein creation of an assortment of electronics Jay had stolen for him.

“You don’t feel… sick, from all that running?” she probed, making a show of studying her nails. “You know, a little weak at the knees?”

“The only time I feel weak at the knees is when Jay tackles me,” Chad replied honestly. “Since he’s, you know, vicious.” 

“No, Chad, I mean-” Mal cut off with a growl of frustration. “Does your heart feel fluttery from all that… exertion?”

She wanted to know if the love potion had actually kicked into effect. Granted, she was interrogating him in the clumsiest way possible, but at least Chad understood her motives.

“No more so than usual.” Chad shrugged. “Thanks for asking. That’s really nice of you.”

Carlos managed to transition a snort into a cough. “Yeah, that’s Mal for you. Just trying to… make new friends.”

“Well, you’re lucky enough to consider _this guy_ a friend,” Chad said, giving Mal an especially broad wink.

He could _see_ her struggle not to roll her eyes. It was a beautiful thing.

“Thanks, Chad.” Her smile was tight and lovely and everything his vindictive little heart needed. “So, how do you feel about Ben?”

“I mean, he’s fine.” Chad shrugged, watching the prince guide Evie through her basic kicks, Jay floating off to the side with Jane, their hair curling around them like a sort of halo. “Not as cool as _me_ , but who is?”

Carlos had to bury his face in his hands.

“No one, I’m sure,” Mal muttered, seeming to finally give up on his line of enquiry. “I think he’s trying to wave you over.”

“Is he?” Chad didn’t bother to look up; despite the fact that he knew what she had said was true. “I don’t think he needs my help.”

“Think he disagrees,” Carlos muttered.

“Chad!” Oh great, he was yelling now. “Chad! Hey, come race me!”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Chad groaned. “The things I do for that guy.”

“I know the feeling,” Mal muttered, and they shared a brief moment of solidarity before Ben splashed his way over and made a nuisance of himself. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

Ben won the race because he was a tall lanky string bean who also cheated by letting Jay and Evie splash Chad during the homestretch. Jane and Evie then faced off in their own modest race, though Jane slowed down near the makeshift finish line so they could finish more or less at the same time. Jay demanded a match against Chad and then proceeded to introduce as much contact into a no-contact sport as possible, ultimately leading to Chad throwing the match because _man_ , did he not care. 

Eventually, they ended up spread out on the stone dais while Ben – the Boy Scout that he was, handed out towels, Jane braiding Evie’s hair and everyone more or less behaving.

“This was fun,” Ben declared, smiling at their collective. “We should do this every time we win. It can be like, a tradition.”

“It’s not bad,” Mal mused, and Chad wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or complaint because the VKs seemed to consider positive things in a negative light. “Could use food though.”

Ben smacked his head. “I _knew_ I forgot something.”

“Of the many things he’s forgotten,” Chad muttered to Jane, exchanging a stealth high five with her because seriously, _this guy_.

This was how they all ended up in the mostly abandoned kitchen of the girl’s dormitory, Ben walking everyone through the art of creating the perfect sundaes while Carlos did his damnedest to eat all the toppings. Chad made a production of helping the VKs to disguise the fact that he hadn’t gotten his own bowl, choosing to eat a few bites out of Jane’s because otherwise his grandfather would find out _somehow_ (the man was a secret wizard, or something) and Chad would have hell to pay for it. 

“This can be part of the tradition too,” Mal decided with a twirl of her spoon, sucking caramel sauce off her thumb.

“Done,” Ben declared, and just like that, Chad knew he was done too, because this was going to become a _thing_ that would slowly kill him.

And Ben _still_ hadn’t put his shirt back on.

The tool.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Chad!” Audrey stormed into his life in a swirl of pink and a haughty scowl, both of which immediately put Chad on edge because _oh, hell no_. “Do you know what my boyfriend was doing with the VKs?”

It was always _‘her boyfriend’_ and not _‘Ben’_ because Audrey was vicious and had sniffed out Chad’s crush on Ben years ago, though he continued to deny it.

“Bonding, I guess?” Dumb Chad settled on, earning a narrowed glare from the drama queen herself.

“ _Chad_ ,” she said, a subtle warning as she approached him in an ominous march. “What was Ben doing with them at the Enchanted Lake? And why were you and Jane there?”

“Jane and I are bros, I don’t know why people don’t get that,” Chad grumbled, choosing to ‘dumbly’ focus on the second half of her question.

“Chad!” she snapped.

He held up his hands in surrender. “They were swimming, okay? Platonic swimming – no shenanigans there. _Geez_ , why do you even care? Didn’t you have a cheerleader thing?” That Jane hadn’t been invited to because she was just the _mascot_ and therefore _beneath_ the cheerleader elite.

“Chad.” This was how most of their conversations went. Chad would say witty things and she would repeat his name enough times for it to become an insult. “I don’t want any funny business going down. You know how _trusting_ Ben is.” She gave him a meaningful look because Ben trusted Chad, and Chad wanted to jump his bones on a regular basis and this was obviously a distasteful thing. “It could be bad if he fell in with the _wrong_ crowd.”

“You try stopping him,” Chad shot back, settling into a look of victory because not even _Audrey_ could control Ben when he was being a stubborn asshole.

“Chad.” And they had gotten to the collar grabbing portion of the conversation, where Audrey dragged Chad down to her level so she could assert her authority. “I don’t care how much you want to get it on with Ben, he will _never_ be yours, and catering to this weird phase isn’t going to change that.”

Thanks for repeating shit Chad _already knew._

“Feeling defensive, Audrey?” Chad asked with his best ditzy smile.

Audrey scowled. “Never have and never will,” she promised, and then she left him with a flip of her hair, her skirt swaying menacingly behind her.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“ _Chad_ ,” a voice clawed through the thick fogs of sleep, tugging gently at his awareness in a gentle caress. “ _Chad, it’s Ben_.”

“…mmf- Ben?” Chad’s lips felt clumsy, as though weighted down by an invisible force.

“ _Yes_.” Something was grazing his hair, thin fingers combing through the curls in an aimless sort of patter. “ _I’m here, Chad_.”

“W-why?” Chad struggled towards awareness, distantly conscious of the body curled against his back. Ben’s body? It didn’t make sense. Why would Ben be in his bed?

“ _Because I… love you, Chad_.” That was- that was not a thing Ben said. “ _I love you and I need to know if you love me_.”

And that _definitely_ wasn’t a thing Ben said.

There was a Ben-imposter in his bed. Spurred by that knowledge, Chad struggled towards coherence, eventually discerning the dim outline of his room. He paused, forcing his mind to play catch up, and frowned. “Jay?”

The hand in his hair stilled. “…no?”

“Jay,” Chad hissed. “Why are you in my bed?”

“You um- shouldn’t be awake right now.” Jay seemed confused by this. “Mal?”

“ _Shh_ ,” a shadowy form near Chad’s desk hissed, and belatedly he realized that the daughter of Maleficent was watching over the scene with narrowed eyes. “It’s a fluke, just keep going.”

“He sounds really awake, though.”

“That’s because I _am_ awake,” Chad griped, fumbling to turn onto his back and grumbling when it felt like he was moving through molasses, everything seeming less responsive than usual. “Did you _drug_ me?”

“Um…” Jay tensed. “No?”

“You drugged me.” Aziz and Lonnie were never going to let him hear the end of this.

“Not _effectively_ ,” Mal grumbled.

“Of course it wasn’t effective, I’m immune to most poisons, you _fucks_.” Chad’s tongue felt a bit looser than usual, and maybe that was just another side effect of the _drugs_ they had slipped him. “Why isn’t this waking up Doug? Did you- Did you _drug_ Doug?”

Jay did not seem to want to answer that question, which meant they had totally drugged Chad’s roommate.

Mal scoffed. “It was a _minor_ drugging, at best.”

“You can’t- you can’t give Doug _drugs_ , he’s on the honor roll,” Chad said, realizing this likely made no sense but he was possessed with a sudden need to defend Doug’s honor, despite the fact that he was very much unconscious across the room. “He’s like, the least deserving of being drugged. He wouldn’t even appreciate it. He won’t even miss class when he’s obviously sick.” And Chad couldn’t _make_ him stay in bed even though the hacking and wheezy bleary-eyed Doug made Chad want to throw him over his shoulder and abscond with him to another place to cuddle him into submission. “You can’t _drug_ Doug.”

“Collateral damage,” Mal drawled, annoyance cutting into her tone.

“For what?” Chad asked, though he had a good idea. “Trying to play a prank? It wasn’t even a _good_ one.” 

“We will… keep that in mind,” Mal recovered valiantly, as though taking advice from half-drugged princes was her intention all along.

“Look, I know this might be an Isle thing but don’t like- drug people without their consent,” Chad continued.

“At least not without checking to see how they’ll react to it,” Mal muttered.

“I _heard_ that.”

“Sorry, chad-i-poo.” _Ugh_ , that was a horrible nickname. “Only consensual druggings from now on.”

“Great,” Chad muttered. “Now get out of our room.”

Jay tensed. “About that…”

“Might have triggered one of your silent alarms, _oops_ ,” Mal said, slinking over towards the bed. “So we’ve got to lay low until they’re done sweeping the halls.” She kicked her shoes off and slid onto the bed, pushing into Chad’s space until she could rest her head on his chest. “Guess you’re stuck with us for the night.”

“Man, you guys _suck_ at pranking,” Chad grumbled, but didn’t otherwise put up a fight. Mostly because he couldn’t, but also, it was sort of nice not sleeping alone. “Try not to wake me up again.”

“Wasn’t trying to the _first_ time,” Jay sighed, and that was that.

If they tried to play more mind tricks on him for the rest of the night, Chad slept through them, so he supposed that counted as a win.

-:-:-:-:-:-

The next time he woke up it was to gentle sunlight streaming through the windows and also Doug’s confused face.

“Um…” He looked like he really wanted to ask but also _didn’t_ want to ask and Chad knew which of those two would win out. “Why are Mal and Jay in your bed?”

Fortunately, Chad had a response prepared for this. “You might not know this, but I’m actually very attractive, Doug.”

“You’d be more attractive if you _shut up_ ,” Mal grumbled, and then buried herself deeper into his arms.

Which was one way to keep track of your suspicious persons of interest.

“That is not what you said yesterday,” Jay murmured, sounding mostly out of it, and Mal didn’t even bother to look up to smack him in the side of the face.

“Silence, _fool_ ,” she hissed.

“I’ll um- just let you guys rest, then,” Doug decided, beating a hasty retreat.

“Probably for the best,” Chad agreed, and then was treated to his own smack because Mal didn’t mess around with her sleeping-in privileges.

Which, honestly, he could respect. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

In order to have some kind of chance at being able to think clearly, Chad attempted to avoid Ben as much as humanly possible, even going so far as to rearrange his schedule so that they no longer shared classes and asking coach to put him on shooter for Tourney practice so he could take out his frustration by firing nerf pellets at the object of his (unfortunate) affection.

Of course, Ben being _Ben_ and therefore a stubborn _shit_ , managed to track Chad down anyway, like, a _day_ after his classes magically went back to their original formatting.

“Chad!” Ben had a hand on Chad’s elbow that seemed determined to mock him in its entirety, that somehow _this_ would be enough to hold Chad through several lonely nights but also wasn’t nearly enough. “How are you? I haven’t seen you around.”

“I’m great.” He was awful. He wanted to swim in Ben’s dipshit dreamy eyes and shove his nose into his neck and _breathe_ until Chad could drown in his scent. “I’ve been busy.” Avoiding Ben. 

“Well, prepare to get busier,” Ben said, bulldozing through the not-excuse cheerily because he was an oblivious fool. “We’re taking Mal and the others swimsuit shopping!”

“ _Ben_ ,” Chad made a production of groaning because otherwise he’d fixate on why it was _Mal_ and the others and not like, _Carlos_. “Just get them a catalogue, or something.”

“Nope,” Ben pressed, somehow managing to crowd into Chad’s space without looking like he was crowding into Chad’s space but there was a definite violation of his personal bubble going on there. “They need the full _experience_.”

“Did you talk to them about this _experience_?”

“Yep.” Of course he did. “Evie seemed excited. Carlos did not. Jay seems…” His brows furrowed. “Excited for maybe the wrong reasons, but Mal promised she’d keep him in line.”

Yeah, like that had nothing to do with the rash of personal belonging that had gone ‘ _missing_ ’ since Jay’s arrival to Auradon Prep. Chad had already stolen back a fair bit of them but he’d left the laptop – after allowing Jane make a few ‘adjustments’ for spy purposes. He’d gotten Taylor a new one anyway, since Chad was such a _charming_ guy.

Chad sighed, using it as an excuse to slump away from Ben’s _stupid grin_.

“Come on.” Ben stepped forward to compensate, as though his argument would improve with immediate proximity. “You know they could use your fashion knowledge. You’re an expert.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Chad groaned, cursing everything in existence but mostly magic cookies that made him want to wrap around Ben’s lanky body and never let go. “But if it goes badly, I reserve the right to mock you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of anything else.”

And damn it, he wasn’t even lying.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Here was the thing about the Isle kids.

They walked a good walk and talked a good talk, but ultimately they were children who had been raised by the underbelly of society on what was essentially a prison island that was in no way, shape, or form, regulated. So of _course_ swimsuit shopping revealed several things. The most noticeable being that one, _all_ of them were underweight. Carlos and Evie were _especially_ underweight, but all of them showed forms of malnourishment that weren’t entirely obvious under the multitude of layers they preferred to wear. While Carlos refused to go shirtless, stripped down to a thin cotton shirt it was obvious to see that before Auradon, he hadn’t gotten regular meals. 

Another thing (which Chad had actually been expecting) was scars. All of them had them in some form or other, though Evie and Mal had the least. Chad suspected it was because of who their mothers were, whereas he had heard that Jay was put to work for his father’s shop, and Carlos served his own mother with a devotion none of the others seemed to mimic, though it seemed mostly unwilling on his own part.

So with these things in mind Ben was, of course, shocked and immediately sad and though he hid it well, Mal seemed to have a third sense for when pity was aimed her way which made her hackles immediately raised. This forced Chad to intercede, sending Ben off on errands to grab other swimsuit options and swim accessories while Chad stayed with them through the actual try-on process. 

In typical Chad fashion, he ignored the too-thin bodies and multitude of scars and focused on complimentary colors and drawing the VKs into arguing styles, until the tension in their shoulders settled down into a regular sort of annoyance towards Chad himself rather than the defensive bite they had earlier.

“You’re overthinking this,” Chad said, projecting as much exasperation as possible. “You can’t mess with classics, Jay. Red is your color. You don’t need to bother with patterns when you can go sleek and sheik.”

“Jay wouldn’t know _sheik_ if it bit him in the face,” Mal muttered, spinning back and forth to catalogue the sway of her purple sundress, trying hard to suppress the smile that tugged at her lips.

“Ignoring that,” Jay said, flexing at his reflection in the mirror. Undernourished though he may be, guy had _muscles_. “You know, I think you’re right. Why distract from myself?”

“That’s the spirit,” Chad chirped, making a quick inspection of the old wounds he could see to determine if any would require some kind of physical therapy. Jay seemed fine, but it never hurt to double check. “Carlos, how are you doing?”

“ _This is dumb_ ,” the young De Ville said from his dressing room, having to this point refused to exit it. “ _They’re just weird, meshy, insubstantial shorts_.”

“That dry _quickly_ ,” Chad reminded him. “Unlike your regular shorts, which will not.”

“ _But they offer more protection_.”

“You’re not wrong on that point, but the Enchanted Lake is protected by natural barriers. If anyone wants to get us there, we’ll see them coming from a mile away.”

“ _…they’re still weird_.”

“Shut up and pick a pair, Carlos,” Mal ordered with a roll of her eyes. “They’re _all_ going to be that weird material.”

“I don’t know how he could complain about this,” Evie said, skipping out of her changing room in an elegant navy one piece. There were ruffles involved, so Chad approved. “This is so _cute_. And weird. What do you think, Chad?” She struck a pose, and Chad had to give it to her, she really rocked that outfit.

“Outstanding as always, my dear,” he said with a wink. “I think that one’s a winner, unless you’d like to get a few more.”

Jay, of all people, perked up. “We can get more than one?”

“Sure.” Chad shrugged. “Ben’s buying so really, I _encourage_ you to do just that.”

At last Mal let the smile tugging at her lips reign free. “Well, when you put it like that…”

They didn’t ransack the store, but they _did_ exit with more suits than were likely warranted, along with shoes and hats and sunglasses and a cute tote Chad bought for Evie because it was blue _and_ red and how could he possibly pass that up? 

He waylaid them to a gaggle of food trucks and proceeded to buy whatever they wanted, sending a note to Jane to have the kitchen staff at the school supply the VKs with more nourishing meals aimed at fixing malnutrition. When Carlos stared at his meatpie/calzone fusion with a dubious expression, Chad went ahead and stole a bite with a laugh (indicating that it was not poisoned) and bought the small teen an ice cream sandwich in recompense. And then bought everyone else ice cream, because he couldn’t show favoritism and also Ben was giving him a _look_. 

It all ended with no one trying to put anyone else under an enchantment, so Chad guessed it was a successful outing, even if he still wanted to punch Ben in the face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated! Please let me know if you think I missed a few tags. I try to ere on the side of caution, but I’ve been staring at this thing for so long I’m bound to have missed a few things :)
> 
> Regarding the story:
> 
> Not to besmirch the VKs’ planning skills, but base on their museum infiltration, they seem to lean more towards ‘on the fly’ planning, so impulse drugging Chad to interrogate him while he was half asleep would probably seem like a good move on their part, even if it ultimately wasn’t. 
> 
> While it was mostly cut from the movie, there is a behind the scenes featurette of the choreography for ‘Did I Mention’ that shows Jane in the mascot knight suit.
> 
> So I refuse to call Chad’s kingdom ‘Cinderellasburg’. In my own personal cannon, I renamed it Sardinia. I chose that name because Cinderella was said to take place in France, near Germany, so I reviewed a list of countries that now no-longer exist. Sardinia was one of them, though I did not realize until later that it is also like, an area in Italy. Woops. 
> 
> Avalor is a kingdom from the Disney show ‘Sophia the First’/’Elena of Avalor’, but it’s basically Disney’s fictional version of Spain.
> 
> UPDATE: Everyone check out [this](https://kybee1497.tumblr.com/tagged/descendants-fic) awesome mood board made by Kybee1497!!! She also made one for the sequel of this story, and both are super amazing!!! 
> 
> Until next time :)


	2. Dumb Ideas Require Dumb Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is dumb. Most of the chapters are dumb, but this chapter is especially dumb ;P

Chad was not entirely sure what he had done to the universe to warrant Ben’s random invasion of his bedroom, but one moment he was pretending to focus on the homework he had already finished in class while determinately _not_ staring at Doug and then the next Ben was in his room, collapsing onto _his_ bed, like he actually wanted Chad to fall apart into a pathetic puddle of _want_.

“Audrey dumped me,” Ben declared after Chad and Doug had shared their (totally platonic) look of _‘what the hell is this?_ ’. “I’m not sure _why_ she dumped me, but now that I’ve thought about it, I don’t think I’m that upset.” He stared at the ceiling of Chad’s canopy bed like it held the answers to all of life’s mysteries. “I mean, I’ve been dating Audrey for years, and it’s not like I don’t _like_ her, but maybe our statuses had more to do with us being boyfriend and girlfriend rather than any actual chemistry, you know?” He offered this to Chad, just, casually tossing aside the affections of the princess he had been dating for _years_ while splaying across Chad’s bed and if this wasn’t torture, he didn’t know what was. “I think this is a good thing. A good change.”

Doug blinked. “Well, that’s a good attitude to have.”

And _there_ was that dopey grin. “Thanks. It’s just-” Ben rolled himself into the sitting position. “I haven’t been single in a long time. Now that I am, I’m not sure what to do.”

“You… enjoy it, I guess?” Chad offered, valiantly ignoring the stupid magic-driven cries in his heart that yelled _‘_ take-me _-take-me- **take-me** ’_. “Or you could ask someone else out on dates. Find someone you have _‘chemistry’_ with.”

“That’s just it,” Ben huffed. It was unfairly cute. “I don’t know _how_ to date someone that’s not Audrey.”

“I imagine it’s a lot like dating Audrey,” Doug tried. “Except, you know, with maybe less yelling.”

Chad offered him a subtle thumbs up for the burn while Ben let out a dramatic scoff. “No guys, it’s like-” He sighed. “We got into this rhythm. This set of expectations. Except _now_ I have to do that with someone new and what if I mess it up?”

“Then… you mess up?” Doug frowned. “Not everything’s perfect, Ben.”

“Yeah, but I don’t _want_ things to go wrong,” Ben groaned, and of course he wouldn’t, because he was stupid and thoughtful and _stupid_. “I need like, a trial run.”

“A trail run,” Doug echoed. “How so?”

“You know,” Ben said. “Like a practice date. So I can shake the rust off.”

Chad’s heart was a stupid traitor that was beating so hard in his chest he thought he might pass out. “So? Just ask someone on a practice date. That way they know you’re going in to get back in the swing of things and can expect… miner hiccups, and you get… practice. Boom, problem solved.”

“So.” Ben narrowed his eyes thoughtfully in a way that never boded well for Chad. “You’re just saying I need to get someone who understands.”

“Exactly,” Chad said, grateful that this particular hurdle had been avoided. He’d have to have words with Aziz later, the Agrabah prince was supposed to shove someone in Ben’s path before he could come up with the idea of _practice dates_ , whatever the fuck _those_ were.

“Chad.” Ben was smiling, smiling that impossibly charming grin that he knew no one (least of all Chad) could say no to. “Would you help me?”

Belatedly, Chad was pretty sure he heard Doug choke on nothing, but he couldn’t focus on that because he was still stuck on- “ _What?_ ”

“Be my practice date!” Ben chirped. “You date a lot of people.” For information and connection building purposes. “You know what a good date is!”

“These things are both true,” Chad allowed, because his image demanded that much. “But maybe you shouldn’t start with me. How about a princess- or Jane! Jane could do it.”

“Jane’s too shy,” Ben insisted, sliding off the bed. And damn it, that was true, Jane’s shy persona was what got so many people to spill secrets around her on accident. “And why not you? You’re an expert!”

“And out of your league,” Chad sniffed, even though that was a horrible lie that Lonnie would make fun of him for later.

“Maybe,” Ben agreed, because he was a too-nice pushover. “But that just means I have to step my game up. Come on, Chad.” He knelt down beside the blond prince, resting his head on Chad’s knee like some kind of begging puppy. “ _Please_.”

It was- entirely unfair to have that kind of desperate attention on him. To have Ben’s head on his _knee_ for purposes that couldn’t be more innocent, and all at once Chad found his resolve crumbling.

“Fine!” he huffed, throwing up his hands. “I’ll go on a practice date with you.”

“Practice _dates_ ,” Ben countered, ever the clumsy negotiator. “You need to mark my progress.”

“You are lucky I like you,” Chad declared, trying to still his beating heart and knowing he’d have to find some excuse to take a shower immediately after this just to get his body to _calm down_.

“I am,” Ben agreed, painfully earnest in a way that made Chad want to shake apart. 

Fuck Mal, seriously. Fuck her and her stupid magic cookies.

“Just so long as you know it,” Chad said, and then Ben continued to prove himself to be the least helpful person ever by lounging on Chad’s knee for the rest of the evening while Doug and Chad worked on homework, until his harried assistant finally tracked him down and pulled him back to his own office.

Doug was kind enough not to mention how Chad immediately laid claim to the shower afterwards, which only added points to his ‘thoughtful unattainable boy’ status. _Ugh_.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“So…?” Ben asked with an emphatic wave of his brows, arms spread wide so as to better display his practice date location. “What do you think?”

“I think it depends on how well you know the person,” Chad decided, managing to contain his grand total of _no_ surprise when he found that Ben had taken them to the Enchanted Lake. “Isolated location far from civilization? Could give off creepy vibes.”

“No,” Ben pressed. “I mean, what do _you_ think?”

“It’s nice enough, I suppose.” For being effortlessly scenic and romantic and it looked like Ben had even set them up a sort of picnic because he actually was the worst.

Ben’s smile dimmed ever so slightly. “You don’t think it’s special?”

“You literally brought the VKs here last week.” After they had tried to _poison_ Ben, not that he knew that. “Sort of makes it less special.”

“Don’t call them the VKs.” Ben was pouting. It was awful.

“You literally brought the _transfer students_ here last week,” Chad corrected, strolling towards the very scenic pavilion with a forced disinterest because otherwise he’d start blushing. “But if I didn’t know that, it’d be very special.”

Ben immediately perked up. “Thank you!” He offered his arm to Chad who took it with great reluctance, hating to feel how stupidly firm the prince’s muscles were underneath his button-up shirt. “So, how have you been?”

“You saw me yesterday, Ben.”

“ _Chad_.” Oh no, he was getting the royal wounded face. “I need you to play along with me if I’m going to get any actual practice in.”

“ _Fine_.” Chad sighed, trying to re-center himself as they settled down on Ben’s very thoughtful and artfully displayed picnic. “I’m… good.” Chad felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest on regular basis from the sheer _want_ of it all, so much so that it was hard to breathe or eat or even sleep sometimes, and he worried about how the VKs were settling in, but otherwise he was _great_. “How are you?”

“Great,” Ben chirped. “Now that you’re here.”

“Cheesy,” Chad muttered, but Ben only beamed, offering Chad a miniature tart that was the epitome of delicious. 

That was one of the bright sides of this unfortunate excursion, Chad managed to escape his grandpa-approved diet.

“You’ve never had a donut before?” Ben asked sometime later, when Chad was sucking powdered sugar off his fingers because manners could go screw themselves in the wake of that sweet goodness.

“Gotta strict diet plan,” Chad explained. “You know. It’s hard work to maintain this physique.” And it was unbecoming of a prince of Sardinia to become ungainly around the waistline, so most of Chad’s meals were small, bland portions. “Figures you’d get away with eating these things though.”

“Really?” Ben asked. “How so?”

“You’re the crown prince,” Chad explained with a wave of his hand. “You can do anything that would be impossible to anyone else.” Like talk Chad into a ‘practice’ date.

Ben laughed and it was magic, like he actually thought Chad was funny. “That’s not true. And um…” He reached forward, thumbing the corner of Chad’s mouth. “You have a little…”

“Oh.” Chad would not blush, he would not blush, _he_ _would not blush_. “Thanks.”

“Here,” Ben said, and then he just, offered Chad his sugar-covered finger, and Chad should definitely not take that in his mouth except he did _exactly_ that with no regrets, humming around the proffered digit because he could.

When he opened his eyes (which had apparently fallen shut), Ben looked pleased beyond all measure. “You like being fed,” he deduced.

Chad immediately swallowed a sputter, choosing the route of owning it. “Of course I like being fed. Who doesn’t like being pampered?”

“Well, since this is a _date_.” Ben shifted a little closer. “We should do things that you _like_ , so…” He offered up a strawberry.

Chad did not flush because this wasn’t a real date and Ben was actually a huge dork. “You are _not_ feeding me.”

“Why not?” Ben asked. “You like being pampered. I enjoy pampering. It’s a win-win. Unless-” He leaned forward. “You’re turning down free pampering. Because you’re embarrassed.”

“How dare you, sir.” Chad narrowed his eyes, because Ben really was a crafty fuck. “As though I’d be embarrassed by something like this.”

“Then it should be no problem, shouldn’t it?” And that was how Ben came to spend the next twenty or so minutes feeding Chad, passing small talk between berries and little tarts and it was very maddening because he would let Chad suck juice off of his fingers or curl extra icing into his mouth and this was actually- _actually_ killing Chad and he hadn’t thought this out at all, should have said no straight out because he was going to start moaning and Ben would know and Chad could think of nothing worse than Ben knowing.

And then, of course, there was the fact that Ben had been drawing closer and closer to him over the course of their picnic, leaning in so he could study Chad’s face so he could- achieve ultimate snack giving techniques? Chad didn’t actually know, he just knew it was difficult for Ben’s face to be this close to his, for his gaze to be so intent on Chad’s _mouth_ without wanting to do something _drastic_.

It got to the point where Ben had an arm wrapped around his waist, holding Chad to his side as he continued to feed him small morsels, thumbing away any crumbs that strayed and asking his opinion on _all_ the foods Chad couldn’t eat and it was horrible.

“Are you hot?” Ben asked after he had let Chad suck honey from his fingers. “You seem flushed.”

“We’re outside,” Chad muttered, shooting him an unimpressed look. “Of course I’m hot.”

“We’re in the shade.”

“But it’s still _sunny_.” That was his story and he was sticking to it.

Ben got a thoughtful look. “Here,” he said, tugging Chad to his feet. Which was probably a blessing because it gave him some distance from Ben. He allowed the other prince to tug him over towards the edge of the pavilion, feeling the cool breeze as it brushed across the water. “Better?”

“Much,” Chad allowed with a sigh. It was kind of nice, though he was distinctly aware of the fact that Ben was still holding his hand, like this was a thing they did on the regular. Like Mal, apparently, wanted to do with him.

“You still look a little hot.”

“Can’t help what comes naturally, baby,” Chad replied on reflex, and somehow his dumb wink earned a laugh from the other prince, one that was genuine and devoid of mockery. 

“No, but seriously,” Ben said after the laughter died down. “And you know what will help with that?”

A feeling of dread built in Chad’s stomach. “Ben, don’t you _dare-_ ”

And that was how Chad found himself being _shoved_ into the Enchanted Lake.

“Ben, you _fuck!_ ” Chad yelled when he resurfaced to Ben’s laughing visage. “Negative date points! Party foul! You-” He scrambled for his pockets. “My _phone!_ ”

Ben stopped laughing. “Chad- I’m so sorry, I forgot-”

“You’re the worst,” Chad griped, staring at the poor remnants of his phone but it was truly ruined, and no amount of rice or baby eyes to Doug would ever fix it.

“Let me make it up to you.” Ben scrambled into the water, as though this would somehow even out the odds. “I can get you a new one-”

“You can and you will, you _jerk_.” Chad would feel bad about Ben’s apologetic expression but if he didn’t hold onto his anger he was going to find Ben helplessly charming again and that was _not_ the right response to this situation. “Get yourself a new brain while you’re at it.”

“It was supposed to be cute.” There was a pout on Ben’s lips when he paddled close to Chad. “We’d splash water on each other and go swimming and- I even brought us a change of clothes.”

“And where were we gonna change?” Chad asked, motioning to the multitude of buildings that did _not_ exist in the immediate vicinity. “Word of advice, always make sure your pool partner is onboard for the pool plan, because if they’re not _this_ happens.”

A flush of embarrassment settled on Ben’s cheeks as he guided Chad back out of the water, the epitome of apologetic. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Damn straight, you will,” Chad grumbled, then made a beeline for the towels.

They changed into the clothes Ben brought them facing away from each other, Chad mostly hoping that no paparazzi had managed to follow them out here because it was the _last_ thing they needed. He let Ben take him back to the dorms on his blue Moped because Chad couldn’t call a car because his _phone was dead_. He allowed Ben to kiss his hand goodbye because he had tried and Chad was _weak_ and that was all they said for the exchange except for the hope of a brighter future. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Dude,” Aziz managed to corner him in the hallway when Chad was power walking back to his own room, because there was only so long he could go with the knowledge that he was wearing _Ben’s underwear_ and it was a very short amount of time. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to contact you all afternoon.”

“Ben ruined my phone,” Chad grumbled. “It’s a long story,” he added, before Aziz could ask. “The others?”

“Already in their room.”

With that knowledge, Chad gave a sad glance towards his room (his room, where he could get out of Ben’s clothes before he sullied them and maybe hide them away and forget he’d received them, or better yet, openly claim them as his recompense for Ben ruining his phone) and followed Aziz to Jane and Lonnie’s room, where they both… seemed to be sporting new hair.

“I think I know what they’re after,” Jane said without preamble as soon as the door was shut. “Mal was asking me a bunch of questions about my mother’s wand and-” She blinked. “Are those Ben’s clothes?”

“Are they?” Aziz immediately perked up, giving Chad a once over. “ _Damn_ , you work fast, my friend.”

“It’s a long story and it’s not what you think it is,” Chad muttered, keeping his focus on Jane. “But it mostly culminates in the fact that Ben is stupid.”

“Because you _love_ him?” Aziz asked, batting his eyes wildly.

“Focus,” Lonnie cut in even though it seemed to pain her, her phone already in hand so she could take pictures of Chad. “We think the VKs want Fairy Godmother’s wand.”

“There _was_ that security breach at the museum the first night they were here,” Chad noted, remembering the anomaly and grateful that it finally slid into place.

“Do you think they want to take the barrier down?” Jane asked, gnawing at her bottom lip.

“It’s the most likely option,” Chad replied. “And the only thing that makes sense. Mal already has magic; if she simply needed to perform some spells she wouldn’t need a wand of your mother’s caliber.”

“They want to let the villains out?” Aziz asked, settling into his familiar position by the window. “Why? Out of love?”

Chad shook his head. “They show too many signs of abuse for it be expressly out of love.”

“Maybe their parents have some kind of leverage over them,” Lonnie offered. “There’s a bunch of kids on that Isle that shouldn’t be there. If they had any sort of connection with some innocent kid-”

“Blackmail,” Aziz summarized. “So, what do we do about it?”

“The only thing we can do,” Chad sighed. “We try to expedite our petitions to get the kids off the island and, in the meantime, try to make Auradon seem as appealing as possible to the VKs. Give them some stakes. If they’re invested in it, they won’t want to lose it.”

“We give them a home,” Jane said quietly. “We find what they want and we give it to them.”

“Unless it’s Ben’s heart,” Aziz snarked. “Or your mom’s wand.”

“Give them what they want within reasonable boundaries,” Chad clarified with a roll of his eyes.

“Works for me,” Lonnie said. “Now about how you got Ben’s clothes…”

“You’re all stupid,” Chad said, but Lonnie managed to tackle him before he could get out of the room so he ended up telling the story anyway, minus the part where Ben fed him food. 

He didn’t need to reveal _all_ his secrets.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Chad’s new phone was some sort of model that wasn’t even on the market yet, customized with a dashing light blue case and mock-crystal popup stand to up his selfie game and Chad loved the stupid thing a hell of a lot, even though Ben had set the wallpaper to a picture of them from when they were like, eight, and were substantially less charming with missing teeth and wild hair and dirt all over their faces.

Chad didn’t change the picture, though. There was something about the fact that _Ben_ had selected the picture that made him incapable of switching it, even though it marked him in the _friend zone_ so thoroughly it hurt.

Ben had even added a personalized ringtone for his contact to the tune of _‘Be our Guest_ ’, despite the fact that no one turned their phone off of silent _ever_ because they weren’t barbarians. He’d even made his contact photo a selfie of him winking at the screen.

Chad _hated_ this boy.

But he also loved him a lot too, so that was unfortunate.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“What the hell, Chad?!” Audrey was in a fine form of rage, hair perfectly coifed, nails perfectly sharp, and gaze that of a murderous beast prepared to eat the heart of an unsuspecting victim. “You’re dating _Ben_ , now?”

“ _Practice_ , dating,” Chad clarified, because he managed to maintain his oblivious façade mostly by grace of _not_ interacting with Audrey. “Ben wanted to practice and I took pity on him, because I am a good friend.”

“Uh, huh.” Audrey did not look impressed, though to be fair, Audrey was impressed with very little. “How very _generous_ of you, _Chad_. For you to open your heart and open your legs-”

“Okay, I’m doing neither of those things.”

“ _Yet_ ,” Audrey pressed, stepping into his space. “This was what you’ve been waiting for, huh? For me to screw up so you could just _swoop_ in-”

“I didn’t ask for this,” Chad snapped, because there was only so much Audrey he could take. “It really was Ben’s idea.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t _fight_ it either, did you?”

“Of course not,” Chad scoffed. “I know free food when I see it.”

“Yeah, and that’s about all you’ll be getting,” Audrey growled, pressing a hard finger against his chest. “Because no matter how much you _practice_ , Ben will never take you on the real thing, Chad.” Her gaze slid down, beneath Chad’s waist, and then flicked back up meaningfully. “You don’t have the right equipment.”

Chad was very much aware of that, thanks.

He decided to cut to the chase. “It’s been a pleasure talking to you, Audrey. We should do it more often.”

“After you crash and burn, sure,” she said with a toss of her hair. “We can review the many flaws of your pathetic crush.”

“Ben really is missing out,” Chad continued. “Don’t know _how_ he could pass up a treat like you.”

“Like you’d know good taste if you saw it.” Audrey narrowed her eyes. “ _Freak_.”

“Bye, Audrey.”

“Later, _Chad_.”

And with that, she left him, leaving Chad feeling shaken and small, like he always did after a bout with his own realistic expectations.

Just another day, then.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“So,” Doug began, not at all casual despite his best efforts because Doug was not a creature of subtlety. “How was your date?”

“Practice date,” Chad countered, comparing two pastel sweaters in his full-length mirror in an effort to determine which would annoy Mal more with its peppy brightness. “And it was fine.”

“…just fine?” Doug’s attempts at fishing for information were pathetic at best, but _damn_ if Chad didn’t consider it endearing, despite the fact that the dwarf kin was likely attempting to gather information for Evie because he liked _her_ so much. “Was it… magical?”

“He shoved me into a lake, so no.” And damned if Chad’s heart didn’t find _that_ endearing either. _Ugh_. Love was the worst. He missed his days of ruthless, cold-hearted logic.

“…so there’s going to be another date.”

“ _Practice_ date.” Chad sighed, turning to face Doug. “That is the key word in this.”

“Yeah, well…” Doug flushed, fiddled with his hands. “What about me?”

Chad paused. “What?”

“Can I have a practice date?” Doug pressed, seeming to slowly gather his courage as he went on. “I have less experience than Ben.”

“Then ask someone on a _date_ -date,” Chad scoffed, picking one of the sweaters at random and tugging it on over his button up. “This is not just- a regular _thing_ I do.”

“But you’ll do it for Ben.” Doug seemed insistent on this point, and Chad was likely imagining the pout on his lips but _fuck_ was it a cute imaginary thing. “Why can’t I practice date you? I won’t push you in a lake. I couldn’t do much worse.”

“I already told you.” Chad sat down on his bed and started pulling on the shoes that would complement his sweater and make Mal’s eye do that twitchy thing. “This is not a regular _thing_. I’m only doing it for Ben because he’s an obnoxious shit who would have outwaited me until I said yes.”

He thought nothing of it when Doug fell into a comfortable silence. He finished work on his shoes and was about to stand up when he registered Doug in front of him, and then his brain dumbly registered Doug _on top_ of him because Doug was in his lap, Doug was facing him, _why was Doug in his lap?_

“What are you doing?” Chad’s voice didn’t crack but his hands _did_ reflexively brace Doug’s hips before he could remember that was a thing he definitely should not do.

Doug stared at him with a new level of determination. “I’m being an obnoxious shit and outwaiting you,” he declared, like this was a natural Doug move. “So we can go on a practice date.”

Chad’s heart may be magically inclined to side with all things Ben-related, but a part of it was still stubbornly dedicated to Doug, no matter how hopeless the endeavor might be, and with the teen so close and _in his lap_ , eventually there were going to be physical responses that Doug would register because he was, in fact, _right on top of Chad_.

So Chad did the only thing he could do and sighed dramatically. “ _Fine_. We’ll go on a practice date. But don’t tell Ben I’m practice-cheating on him or he’ll whine about it.”

“I don’t think it’s practice cheating unless you’re practice boyfriends,” Doug said, blissfully unaware of how _those_ words falling from _his_ lips affected Chad. “But I accept your terms.” He awkwardly hopped off Chad’s lap far too soon, and not soon enough. “Thanks, Chad. I’ll see you later.”

“You’re welcome, sport,” Chad managed a lazy wave as a farewell and then collapsed onto the bed as soon as Doug was gone, because _what the hell_.

And now he had to take another shower. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

“See?” Doug gestured to the store around them with a grin that couldn’t be prouder. “There are no large bodies of water nearby. I have already set us up for success.”

“You took us to a _book shop_ ,” Chad pointed out, giving a dubious look to a rather large pile of dust bunnies in a far corner that looked tempted to take on sentient life. “This is supposed to be a date, Doug.”

“I know,” Doug chirped, stubbornly motioning Chad deeper into the cluttered and cramped shop. “I’m pursuing a shared interest.”

“Um.” Chad made a show of cleaning out his ear with his pinky, because the intellectual elite always found that annoying. “I don’t do books.”

“No,” Doug corrected. “You _pretend_ not to do books for reasons I have yet to determine, but you’ve definitely already read through all of the ones I brought from home, so I thought I’d get you some new ones.”

“That is-” Chad did not choke, but he _was_ surprised by Doug’s (frighteningly) accurate deduction. “I was looking at the pictures.”

“You took _notes_.” Doug grinned victoriously, meaning he must have found Chad’s secret journal that was definitely coded and who was he kidding, if anyone could crack his codes, it was Doug. “Good notes, too. I thought we could get you some additional research to supplement your theories.”

Chad considered this, all while committing to _nothing_.

Doug sighed. “It’ll be our secret.”

“Then you’ve got yourself a deal,” Chad chirped, clicking his tongue. “If anyone asks, I’m just here to carry your bags. Because I am nice and charming.”

“Yes, Chad,” Doug muttered, and then he guided them deeper into the underbelly of the shop.

The store, Chad decided later, was entirely unfair. How he had not discovered it on his own journeys through Auradon City boggled him, but Doug was obviously a regular and as such had preferential status, which meant when any new (old) books came in, he got first dibs. And those beautiful, glorious tomes could cover anything from Oceanic potions to ancient rituals to hidden beasts of the Deep Jungle and Chad wanted every single one of them, especially the ones that covered older forms of government so they could learn from their predecessors and it wasn’t fair, the way Doug would look at him with that subtly delighted gaze because he found Chad out. Chad had no chance hiding his interest with this many good reads, and so they found themselves exiting the bookshop later with heavy bags and lighter wallets, and Chad didn’t even care that he’d been (further) compromised.

Doug then took them to another place Chad had yet to discover, a cozy little café where they could order cups of hot chocolate the size of their face, though they both opted for the half-face option because even they could only manage so much sugar. There were buttery croissants to go with them while Doug stirred up a debate about one of the ancient civilization books, and by the time they were done with their treats Chad had a dozen or so new ideas to put into their proposals for reforming the Isle. All-in-all the afternoon was both productive and a treat. Weird.

And so fucking Doug-like that it made Chad want to weep. 

“Well,” Chad made himself say when they left the café. “That was definitely an A plus practice date. Are you sure you don’t just want to ask someone out?” Someone like Evie. “You could probably hit it out of the park.” 

“No, no – I need more practice first,” Doug said distractedly, reading one of their new books and walking and well, who was Chad to turn down free romance that would likely doom him in the end?

No one, that’s who.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Are you dating Doug?”

Ben cornered him in the locker room before Tourney practice, and Aziz only offered Chad an entirely unapologetic shrug before leaving him to his doom of an overly attentive prince.

“Practice,” Chad sighed, slipping on his jersey. “It was a _practice_ date.”

“Are you _practice_ dating Doug?” Ben asked, as though this very idea wounded him.

“Do not be an _actual_ baby,” Chad chided, huffing a stray curl out of his face before reaching for his equipment. “Doug’s my roommate. If I can’t take help him out, can I really be considered charming?”

“That is not an accurate correlation,” Carlos muttered from his position of nearby but distinctly _not part of the conversation_.

“Chad,” Ben said, because it was obvious he didn’t know what else to say. He couldn’t object to Chad being nice to people who weren’t Ben, so he could only say Chad’s name. It was horrible.

“I promise I’ll always have time for your dumb practice dates,” Chad muttered, forcing himself to pat Ben’s head and not his cheek because then he might cup it and drag the prince forward and that was literally the last thing he should do. “Because you need them.”

“What exactly _is_ a practice date?” Jay asked from where he was pretending not to eavesdrop, trying to be sultry but mostly looking weird with only half of his equipment on.

“Hope you never find out,” Chad huffed.

“It’s like a regular date,” Ben supplied, because he was obligated to be nice to everyone, even people who wanted to poison him. “But for practice. So you can get better at regular dates.”

“Clarification.” Carlos held up a finger. “What is a _date_?”

“Um…” Ben looked uncomfortable but like hell was Chad going to dig him out of his hole. “It’s um- when two people hang out. Like, romantically.”

“You mean with kisses and stuff?” Carlos asked. “Do you and Chad practice kissing?”

No, but now Chad sure as hell _wanted_ to.

“No, like, the other stuff,” Ben rushed to explain. “Like- I try planning dates that I think Chad will like because on a date, you want the other person to be happy. And then on a normal date you would maybe kiss and stuff.”

“But you guys don’t do that,” Jay clarified. “Because it’s a _practice_ date.” 

“You tackle during Tourney practice,” Carlos cut in abruptly. “And you tackle during a game. Really, the only difference is the audience and keeping score, everything else is the same. Why wouldn’t practice dating be that way?”

“Because Ben doesn’t want me to keep score,” Chad muttered. He did not like those implications; Ben might think they were good ideas or some shit. “And kissing and tackling are not _equivocal_ ,” he drawled the word out like he was parroting it from Doug, because Dumb Chad wasn’t expected to know such things.

“Why?” Carlos asked. “Ben’s probably bad at that too.”

“Because if I practice kissed Ben I’d have to practice kiss Doug, and I only have so much _actual_ patience,” Chad snapped.

“You could always turn your practice attentions elsewhere,” Jay murmured, wagging his brows in a manner he probably thought was alluring. “If um- Ben and Doug can’t do it for you.”

“I think I’m about all practiced out,” Chad sighed, and then he exited with a toss of his hair, hoping that a dramatic departure from the scene would drop all potential arguments on the subject.

-:-:-:-:-:-

This turned out to be a false hope.

Because that night it was Carlos who crawled in through the window, cornering Chad on his bed for his post-practice world bemoaning while Doug was at Chess club, brows furrowed with a level of determination that could not be equaled.

“ _No_ ,” Chad sighed as the VK crawled into his lap. These people just- did not have a sense of personal space. “Carlos-”

“Look,” Carlos leveled with him. “I get that you’ve only got so much time, but I really need your help. I’ve never-” He looked around quickly despite the fact that no one else was there. “ _Kissed_ anyone, okay? I need practice.”

“You don’t want your first kiss to be me, it will make everyone else pale in comparison,” Chad sniffed, though realistically he didn’t want Carlos to waste such a thing on Chad, even though he got the feeling that the VKs considered him more of a prostitute than anything else. “It should be meaningful, anyway.”

“Why?” Carlos pressed. “I want my first kiss with someone I really like to be good, but how can it be good if I’ve never done it before?”

“Through determination and hard work. I mean, that’s what got you into those honor classes, right?” Carlos had been moved up about a month into the semester after it became obvious he had only needed a refresher of the basics.

“Not the same.” Carlos pouted. It was a cute pout. “Come on, man. Help me out.”

“ _No_ ,” Chad sighed. “Mal will kill me. And then Jay will find what is left of my body and kill _that_.”

“Jay won’t do anything if Mal gives an okay,” Carlos replied as if by rote, and then his eyes widened. “I’ve got an idea.”

“I don’t like this idea,” Chad said, but then he found himself getting dragged out of his room anyway, so what the hell did he know?

-:-:-:-:-:-

That was how he found himself in Mal and Evie’s room, Lonnie filing her nails at the foot of Evie’s bed, because that was just Chad’s luck.

“Mal!” Carlos still had a hold of Chad’s wrist when he dragged him inside. “I need your okay for something. Or, Chad does.”

“This was not Chad’s idea,” Chad felt the need to put out there, because Mal’s gaze could get kind of murderous and Chad enjoyed living.

“Nope, it was mine,” Carlos agreed.

“What is it?” Mal asked, setting aside the sketchbook Ben had given her (cuz he was a _sap_ ) to take in the scene with interest.

“I want to kiss Chad,” Carlos declared with all the subtlety of a stampeding rhinoceros, and Lonnie managed to choke on her own spit from surprise. “I mean, I want to _practice_ kissing Chad but he won’t do it if you’ll kill him.”

“There’s a host of other reasons why I also won’t do that,” Chad muttered, but Mal was looking thoughtful, which never boded well for him. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“What’s there to misunderstand?” Carlos asked. “You’re helping Ben and Doug get better at certain parts of dating-”

“And _Doug?_ ” Lonnie sputtered, but Carlos ignored her.

“-so why can’t you help _me_ get better at certain parts of dating? The only difference between me and them is that I’m from the Isle. So like, are you just discriminating against me?”

“Do not put words in my mouth, nerd,” Chad held back his desire to roll his eyes through sheer force of will. “What you’re asking for and what they’re asking for is different.”

“Yeah, what I’m asking for doesn’t require you to go anywhere,” Carlos argued. “I can’t even ruin your phone. It’s a win-win.”

“Did Ben tell _everyone_ about that?”

“Actually, that was Doug,” Evie supplied cheerfully, watching the exchange with growing amusement.

“I don’t see what the issue is here,” Carlos complained. “You’re going out of your way to help them-”

“If I kiss you can we stop having this argument?” Chad asked, because he had tried, okay? He’d given his obligatory objection and it didn’t stick so why the hell not, at this point? 

Carlos immediately switched from argumentative to considering, literally stroking his chin. “That depends on what Mal says. Mal?”

“…I _suppose_ he can help you,” she allowed after a dramatic pause. “But we get to watch. To make sure there’s nothing hinky.”

“Yes.” Chad actually _did_ roll his eyes that time. “ _That’s_ why.”

“You questioning my motives, Charming?”

“Perish the thought, my dear,” Chad sighed, then took a seat at the foot of Mal’s bed, since she was apparently in charge anyway. “So do you want to-” Carlos was already climbing into his lap. “Okay, so you’ve already got that part down.”

“Was it supposed to be hard?” Carlos asked, genuinely curious, and Chad sighed again. Harder.

“Depends on how your foreplay goes.”

“What’s foreplay?” Evie asked, and Chad realized this was probably going to become a teaching opportunity for all of them.

“Technically,” Chad began, conscious of the fact that Carlos was _right there_ just watching him and Lonnie was trying to sneak her phone out. “It’s everything you do before you have sex, but in this particular instance, I meant everything you do before you start making out. So really like, making out would be part of foreplay.”

“Interesting,” Mal mused. “Keep going.”

“Right.” Chad turned back to Carlos who was just, right there. “This is… really better demonstrated rather than explained, so try to just- go with the flow. _Oh_ , and-” He held up a hand. “I need to know the moment you’re not comfortable with something. Just like- pull back or, I don’t know, hit my arm and we’ll regroup, okay?”

“O- _kay_.” Carlos gave him a weird look. “You know I asked for this, right?”

“You also told me you’ve never kissed anyone before, so you don’t know how your body’s going to respond.”

“Positively, I hope,” Mal chuckled into her hand.

“Ignore her,” Chad said. “So…”

“I’ll pull back if I want to,” Carlos said. “ _Now_ can we kiss?”

“Sure,” Chad said and then they… kissed.

Carlos was tentative at first, clumsy with his pressure, but Chad was careful with him, bracing his hands on Carlos’ hips and allowing the other teen to control the situation however he wanted. When he thought Carlos was comfortable, he moved his lips in slight shifts, pulling Carlos into a deeper kiss until the other teen whimpered, seeming to melt into his hold. 

“ _Damn_ ,” Chad huffed when they pulled back for air. “I’m _good_.”

“I um. Need more practice,” Carlos said hazily.

“We aren’t really close to done yet, so that’s good.” And then Chad went back in, taking his time to suck Carlos’ bottom lip between his teeth before going back to more tender kisses he seemed to like. “Okay so- I’m going to put my tongue in your mouth now.”

“W- _What_?” Carlos flushed bright red, and across the room, a pale flush dusted Evie’s cheeks.

“Auradon kissing,” Chad explained. “Hit my arm if you think it’s gross, but most people enjoy it.”

Carlos was tentative about allowing him entrance, but once he did he sighed into the contact, letting his tongue twist against Chad’s without fighting for dominance, happy to follow and hum needy little sounds into his mouth.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Carlos said when he pulled back. “Yeah, that’s- weird but good.”

“That’s the common consensus.”

“Alright,” Mal broke in, and when Chad looked her way she had crawled right beside them. “I want to give this a shot.”

“But _Mal_ ,” Carlos whined, leaning into Chad.

Mal rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to move, but you do have to share.”

“Um.” Chad blinked. “ _Why?_ ”

Mal gave him a look like he was dumb. Which was the same look she always gave him. “Because it looks like fun.” And then she was leaning in, sucking on his lips the same way he had done to Carlos earlier, nipping at him in a way that made Chad shiver. It wasn’t long before it shifted into something dirtier, Mal asserting her authority by cupping Chad’s face between her hands, but it was still _nice_. Weird, with Carlos basically resting against his shoulder watching them, with Lonnie barely daring to breathe and Evie doing… Evie things.

“My turn,” Evie declared, and crossing the room had apparently been the ‘Evie thing’ of choice this time. “Pucker up, Charming.”

“This is how pornos start,” Lonnie muttered, mostly to herself because Evie was already kissing Chad.

It was an easy thing, simple and sweet. It made Chad feel shaky, because as much as he flirted with Evie, he didn’t really know where he stood with her. He was afraid of what she could do, what her motives were, because she seemed so kind but she had been so desperate to please him, which either meant she didn’t respect _herself_ enough or didn’t care that she was being used because the end result would get her Chad.

He was grateful that she didn’t deepen the kiss with the way Carlos was curled in his lap and Mal’s fingers were carding through his hair and Lonnie-

“Oh my goodness, Chad!” Lonnie said, voice projected extra loud as some kind of cue that something else was amiss. “I just remembered that project we have that’s due tomorrow!”

Chad, who had mastered improvisation at a young age, eagerly jumped onboard with this. “Oh _wow,_ that’s right! Thanks for reminding me Lonnie! Guys-” Before Carlos knew what was happening, Chad maneuvered himself away from the bed, shifting across the room to help Lonnie up. “Sorry, we’ve got to go work on our-”

“Project!” Lonnie chirped, waving her phone. “This has been fun, though. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“And now you’ve had practice, so-” They wouldn’t need to ask Chad again. He moved to open the door for Lonnie-

To reveal Ben standing on the other side of the door, hand posed to knock.

He blinked. “Oh, did Evie text you guys too?”

So _that_ was what Lonnie figured out.

“Nope,” Chad sighed. “Just some more people wanted practice dating advice. You started a trend, buddy.”

“I did?” Ben asked, but Chad was already brushing past him, making room for Lonnie.

“Sure did!” Lonnie chirped. “Bye guys!”

They maintained their peppy façade all the way down the hallway to Lonnie and Jane’s room, and collapsed as soon as they get inside.

“Aziz updated me on Ben’s position,” Lonnie explained. “They were trying to set you up.”

“What?” Chad just- didn’t get the connection. At all. “How?”

Lonnie gave him a hard look, then flopped back on her bed. “If you can’t figure it out, I’m not telling you.”

“Fine,” Chad sniffed. “See if I design your coronation dress now.”

“You can and you _will_ , Chadwick.” She didn’t even look up at him, just finished her statement with a threatening gesture that Chad knew she would one hundred percent follow up on.

“I suppose I can reconsider my dress designing position,” Chad allowed.

Lonnie indulged him with a small hum of agreement, and that was that. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

“I can’t find it,” Audrey hissed, cornering Chad in a shadowing nook between two buildings, her nails pointed and vicious. “Where _is_ it?”

“Where is what?” Chad’s confusion wasn’t feigned this time. Granted, no interaction with Audrey was particularly pleasing so he tried to keep up with whatever could be bugging her at any given time, but he had little knowledge as to what could have led to that particular question.

“The _note_ you forged.” Audrey did not growl, but there was a distinct menace to her tone. “The reason why I broke up with Ben. I wanted to show it to him but it seems to have _vanished_ into thin air.” She glided forward with an elegance impressed upon her since birth, but there was _menace_ permeating each movement, a lurking threat Chad knew Audrey was more than happy to act on. “Which seems fortuitous for _you_.”

“I already told you I had nothing to do with that.” Not that he had expected her to listen, but he’d still gone through the effort. “Too dumb, remember?”

“I checked the surveillance cameras,” she continued as though she hadn’t heard him, pressing a well-manicured finger to the base of his neck. “Didn’t find anything.”

“Pretty sure that’s illegal.”

“Saw a moment where Ben _could_ have left it,” she continued. “Didn’t see anyone take it, so I’ll admit you’re good. Or, whoever you hired was good.”

Please, Aziz had done that for free.

“I don’t know why you’re so hung up on this,” Chad lied. “You dumped Ben and he doesn’t want you back, showing him some note isn’t going to make him change his mind. You can’t _guilt_ him into marrying you.”

“I _can_ guilt him into a date,” Audrey cooed through a tight smile. “And with that date, I could win him back.”

“Could you?” Chad asked with a vague smile. “He seems okay without you.”

“That’s because he doesn’t know what he’s missing,” she hissed. “He doesn’t know everything I did for him. Doesn’t know how I boosted his public image. How I eased the minds of Auradon’s citizens by assuring them of a solid future. Who’s going to do that now?” Her nail dug into the skin just above his collar. “You? _Mal_?” She scoffed. “It’s laughable. He’ll see in time. I’m just trying to _speed_ the process.”

“And here I thought patience was a princess quality,” Chad chirped.

Her nail dug deeper into his throat, but it was worth it, if only to watch her struggle to restrain her fury.

“You’re an idiot, Chad,” she declared, stepping away from him as though he were something distasteful. “And one way or another, I _will_ get Ben back.”

“Did you let Ben know that?” Chad asked her retreating back, her elegant curls tossed with a furious whip of her head.

She didn’t answer him, because Chad was beneath her, but the fury would linger and that was what mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who kudo-ed, bookmarked, and commented on the last chapter! You know how to make a lady really feel welcome, and I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to look at this story. You make it a real treat to write ^_^
> 
> Story notes:
> 
> For the purposes of this story, I rearranged a few things from the Descendants movie, meaning Lonnie and Jane got their hair fixed after the Tourney game in this timeline.
> 
> There is some fan map or something out there that has ‘Deep Jungle’ listed as the jungle Tarzan inhabits, I think. I didn’t have a whole lot of luck tracking down an official breakdown of Auradon’s kingdoms, so that’s what I used. 
> 
> Until next time :)


	3. Adding to the Misery

“Hey, Chad!” said a person who looked like Ben and dressed like Ben but was definitely _not_ Ben. “Ready for our date?”

“Practice date,” Chad corrected on reflex, making sure to keep his disposition carefully aloof. He had spent too much of his life studying and despairing over the intricacies of one Benjamin Florian to be able to miss their distinct _lack_ , which meant this imposter either thought Chad was really dumb (which was the point), didn’t know Ben very well (which meant they didn’t know _Chad_ ), or was really desperate. Or a combination of the three. 

In the brief seconds after his greeting Chad contemplated all the reasons _why_ someone would want to impersonate Ben in order to fake-date Chad, and the only prospects he came up with were 1) they wanted blackmail material on Chad, 2) wanted to make him miss his actual fake-date with the real Ben and therefore sabotage their nonexistent relationship or, 3) just- _really_ wanted a date with prince charming.

Determining _who_ was under the illusion would help Chad figure out which of the above options was most accurate, and to do that it became a short list of determining who had the capabilities to magically glamour someone and who _knew_ about the practice dates to come up with a list of: probably the VKs. 

Figured.

“Right,” not-Ben laughed in what he assumed was an approximation of Ben’s laugh. “Our _practice_ date.”

“And yes,” Chad agreed, already stepping into motion. “I figured we could practice that thing you mentioned last time.”

“Right,” not-Ben echoed, scrambling after Chad. “Cool. I was hoping you would agree to that.”

Chad and Ben had discussed practicing a grand total of _nothing_ the last time they had met, which further cemented this human’s status as an imposter. Which meant the real Ben could quite possibly still be on his way to their not-date, which meant Chad had to deal with _this guy_ quickly. Granted, Chad’s air-head status would give him about fifteen minutes of leeway when it came to punctuality, but after that Ben would likely call it a loss. 

“Of course you were,” Chad scoffed with a toss of his head, cutting across the Tourney field. “Normally we would do this in your bedroom for the sake of privacy, but since you want the _‘authentic experience’_ we’re going to have to use the equipment shed.”

“Right.” That was becoming not-Ben’s favorite word, which almost made Chad pity him were it not for the fact that not-Ben was actively attempting to deceive him. “Thanks again for doing this.”

“Just be glad I’m feeling generous,” Chad grumbled, using the copy of the equipment shed key he had Aziz make him to unlock the door and usher not-Ben inside.

“Generous,” not-Ben said. “Or _loving?_ ”

“What?” Chad blinked, because that was pathetic even for an imposter

“You know,” fake Ben pushed on. “Were you feeling um- loving, towards me?”

Chad would give fake-Ben this, at least he was committed to his bad choices. At the very least, Chad had an idea as to _why_ Mal had done this.

“Please stop talking,” Chad ordered, laying on the agitation as he guided not-Ben to sit on the floor. “Or do better. That was practice-sad.”

“ _Excuse_ you?” The offense with which this was said gave Chad the feeling it was Jay under that Ben-illusion, who prided himself on his (admittedly) reasonable flirtation skills. “That was not _-_ ”

“No talking,” Chad repeated, moving to straddle not-Ben-probably-Jay’s lap, shutting the other teen up rather effectively. “Your goal here is to try and last as long as you can, okay? And for the record, you are welcome in advance.”

“What?” Not-Ben said, and then Chad was kissing him, because he could only think of one real way to tire not-Ben out that didn’t involve knocking him unconscious, and that was to bank on the responsiveness of teenage hormones. 

Despite the fact that he _knew_ it wasn’t Ben he was kissing, Chad could feel his pulse picking up to an uncomfortable pace, knew his body would start having a very _active_ response if he didn’t stay in control and end this quickly. Jay was impassive for all of a second before he was kissing back, making a smooth recovery, so Chad had to get, well, drastic, skipping a whole slew of expected foreplay and cupping a hand between Jay’s legs, squeezing hard and insistent and relishing in the surprised _gasp_ it earned him.

This was not Ben. This was not Ben. This was _not Ben_ and Chad needed to remember that, needed to not do things he would have daydreamed about doing with the prince because even his imagination couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but yearn and sulk despite knowing how impossible it all was.

Feeling vindictive, Chad pulled away from Jay’s lips and bit his neck, sucking down _hard_ and reveling in the shudder that seemed to rock Jay’s core.

“Like that, your _highness_?” Chad murmured, moving his hand a little faster. “Do you enjoy being waited on by your _loyal subject?_ ”

Chad didn’t have a clue about Jay’s kinks and his mind had never wandered down that particular road, but the mild roleplay seemed to be doing it for him, or at least was jarring enough from anything else he’d ever done that he wasn’t sure how to respond other than grappling for Chad’s shoulders with shaky hands.

“It’s my pleasure to serve you,” Chad whispered, nipping at Jay’s ear before sucking another harsh mark on his neck, because if he was going to try and deceive Chad he was going to be punished for it, have to cover up those hickies later. “To do my best, for Auradon. For _you_.”

Chad kept his tone sultry because otherwise that desperate edge of honesty that wanted to escape his chest would crawl out, even though this _wasn’t_ Ben.

He decided to take a different route. “Seeing you take care of the Isle kids,” he murmured, moving his hand faster and relishing at how Jay’s hips shifted into his touch. “ _Fuck_. You want to help them so badly. Just want to be a good king for them, it makes me so hot.”

Bit overdramatic there, even though Chad could feel himself get slightly lost in the heat of the moment, Jay’s reaction was more obvious, breath catching in his throat and a hard shudder ripping through his body.

“It- it does?” Jay managed, one hand sliding to Chad’s hip, gripping it carefully.

“Of course,” Chad replied. “To see how much you care for them. See how you want to do good for your people.” Chad leaned closer, letting his breath huff in Jay’s ear. “Makes your people want to do good for you, if you know what I mean.” He squeezed Jay to emphasize this and got a whine for his troubles, which let him decide that the seeds he had been attempting to sew would likely bear fruit. “Think you’ll um- actually date one of them? I think Mal likes you, and she’s cool.”

“Y-you think?” Jay gasped.

“Oh, _definitely_.” A hard _grind_ and Chad knew Jay was almost done, falling apart under his fingertips and he had to- keep reminding himself it was Jay even though he wore Ben’s wrecked visage so pretty. “Granted, it would probably be awhile before you could do anything like this, but if you did-” He sucked down _hard_ on the curve of Jay’s jaw. “She’d probably mark you up way more than this.”

“ _Chad,_ ” Jay gasped. “I’m gonna-”

“Do it,” Chad ordered. “Come for me, your highness. Come for you _loyal servant_.”

A shudder, and Jay was kissing Chad, grappling for his lips while he fell to pieces in his hands. He was stubborn about holding onto Chad for the entire ride – maybe a hint of romanticism, or an attempt to reclaim his pride, but either way he was still dazed by the time Chad stood up.

“Um…” Jay-as-Ben blinked. “You didn’t get any…”

“It’s fine.” Chad waved him off, running a hand through his hair as an excuse to check his watch. He still had about five minutes. “I’ll come lock up later, you take your time recuperating.”

“What?” Not-Ben asked, but Chad was already out the door, smoothing down his clothes and making his speed walk to the front of the school as casual as possible.

Predictably, Ben was there with the same dopey smile that lit up when he caught sight of Chad, and Mal was there, looking distinctly _less_ happy to see the blond prince.

“Chad!” Actual-Ben greeted. “You’re here! See Mal, I told you he was just running late.”

Chad put on his best expression of befuddlement. “Weren’t you just-? Never mind. We all know that _beauty_ takes time. Are we going somewhere?”

“You know it,” Ben said, and then he offered Chad his arm because he was a dumb gentleman who didn’t know when to quit. “See you later, Mal.”

“Yep.” Chad shot her a wink. “Catch ya on the flipside.”

“Sure,” Mal drawled. “Whatever that means.” 

Overall, it was a total success.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Dude.” Chad wasn’t sure how Aziz kept managing to corner him so easily, but it was getting annoying. “What were you doing with Ben in the Equipment Shed?”

“Nothing,” Chad answered honestly for once. “We had another fake date that involved a grand total of _no_ sheds.”

“Are you sure? Because Lonnie has some pictures of Ben stumbling out of there-”

“Trust me, man,” Chad sighed. “It’s all under control.”

He did not appreciate the doubtful look Aziz gave him. “If you say so.”

Really, such criticism was so unwarranted.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Chad got sucked into performing with the acapella group for Parent’s Day by way of Doug’s imploring eyes, because it wasn’t like he was actually capable of saying ‘ _no_ ’ to his roommate, and was even less capable when Ben decided to join in on the fun, thereby easily sealing Chad’s fate.

Ben had also extended an invitation to the VKs to join in the performance, where Mal responded with a very appropriate bout of laughter that didn’t end for like, three minutes straight, Jay gave him a look that suggested the prince was crazy, Carlos ignored him, and Evie – ever the negotiator – _politely_ turned him down.

So now Chad was stuck in a room with _Audrey_ – who was still trying to win Ben back – memorizing what would probably be a poppy abomination of some timeless classic.

“Ten bucks says it’s ‘Be Our Guest’,” Chad muttered to Aziz, who had been dragged into the affair by a determined Lonnie who would not, quote ‘suffer this alone’, because her grandmother had _so_ been looking forward to hearing her ‘singing broadcasted to the world’ or whatever.

“Why would I take that bet?” Aziz looked offended that Chad would even offer as much. “We all know it’s going to be ‘Be Our Guest’. I don’t think Ben knows any other songs.”

“Are you guys still complaining about this?” Lonnie asked distractedly, liking cursing Jane for being able to escape acapella torture. “Give the guy some credit; he doesn’t _always_ do the same thing.”

“Yes he does,” Chad and Aziz said at the same time.

“We do the same song every year,” Chad groaned. “And every year we think ‘hey, maybe we’ll change things up’ but then we don’t because Ben’s a mama’s boy and this is like his mom’s favorite song.”

“Says the guy who _definitely_ isn’t a mama’s boy,” Aziz muttered.

Chad gracefully elbowed him in the side, because they had agreed long ago that talk of his dead mother was not to be tolerated.

“Alright guys!” Ben called the meeting to an order with a smile, sheet music balanced carefully in his hands. “For this year’s song, we’ve decided to go with ‘Be Our Guest’!”

“And this is my surprised face,” Aziz deadpanned.

Chad made a show of grumbling to keep up his reluctant persona, but deep down he couldn’t help but be thrilled at how passionate Ben was about such a dumb thing, couldn’t help but love this stupid mess of a human, who chose the same song every year and coerced his friends into joining dumb acapella groups.

“I can see your _adoration_ ,” Aziz muttered.

Chad elbowed him again and focused on his sheet music, despite the fact that it hadn’t changed since last time. There were appearances to maintain.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“I need practice,” Doug declared out of the blue one evening, when Chad was working on Jane’s dress design for coronation.

Chad frowned. “We’re already practicing,” he said, assuming Doug was referring to the dates.

“No.” Doug was doing that thing where he pouted again and Chad hated it as much as he loved it. “I mean- I need practice romantically feeding someone. Ben feeds you.”

“ _Fed_ me,” Chad clarified, forcing himself not to blush through sheer force of will. “As in, _once_. And how did you know about it?”

“I asked Ben,” Doug said, like asking your friend how they took your other friend on a date was a natural thing. “And he said you like it-”

“Which is a _normal response_ ,” Chad cut in, feeling _reasonably_ defensive.

“-so I thought you’d be a good person to practice with. Look.” He pulled out a few containers of delicious looking treats that Chad could have sworn had not been there earlier. “I have the food, and we _have_ the time-”

“I’m going to have to agree to this since I let Ben do it, aren’t I?”

Doug nodded solemnly. “I, too, can be an ‘obnoxious shit’.”

Chad sighed. “Where do you want me?”

That was how they ended up on the floor at the foot of their beds, Doug leaning in nervously, trying not to fumble a raspberry.

“ _Doug_ ,” Chad chided with a groan. “You’ve got to do this with _confidence_. Look.” He grabbed the other teen’s wrist and dragged his hand to his lips, giving Doug meaningful eye contact that had absolutely _no_ ramifications in the long run. He urged Doug to slide the treat into his mouth slowly, taking his time licking the remaining juice off of his fingers. “Like that.”

Doug blinked at him dumbly, then tried again, this time opting for a small cupcake. 

Chad was in the middle of sucking icing off his thumb when Carlos just sort of- barged into the room.

“Hey Doug,” the other teen said, gaze fixed on a novel in his hands. “I finished that book you let me borrow-” He froze when he caught sight of them, Doug’s thumb very much still in Chad’s mouth. “O _kayyy_.”

“We’re practicing,” Chad explained, slipping into his vague doofus persona easily in order to combat any embarrassment.

Carlos didn’t seem to know what to do with this information. “What?”

“Romantically feeding someone,” Chad elaborated. “Doug wanted to practice.”

“How do you romantically feed someone?” Carlos asked before he could seem to think better of it.

“I could show you,” Chad offered, because it wasn’t like the situation could get weirder. “If you want.”

Carlos pointedly looked at the array of snacks. “Do I get to eat that stuff?”

“Yep.” Chad popped the ‘p’ for emphasis. “Though it will be from my hands, which I promise are clean–”

“That’s fine.” Carlos dumped his book on Doug’s desk. “I’ve definitely had worse. So.” He settled down beside Chad. “What do I do?”

“You? Nothing. You’ve got the easy job.” Chad situated himself closer to the young De Ville. “May I wrap my arm around your waist? Totally fine if the answer’s no-”

“Okay,” Carlos said after thinking about it for a moment. “I mean, I saw what you were doing when I came in-”

Right. Yes. Probably should have locked the door.

“Great,” Chad chirped. “How about we start with a cupcake?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Carlos hissed, looking at the treat with a level of excitement he couldn’t quite hide.

It should be- weird, feeding Carlos, but it wasn’t because for him it was more a means to an end. He was perfectly fine with Chad explaining proper technique as he fed him, fine with slurping at Chad’s fingers to get every last remnant of chocolate, every trace of frosting or juice.

“This,” Carlos said mid-chew. “Seems inefficient. But um- still kind of nice. Weird, though. Since you’re not eating.”

“My treat as the feeder is um- feeding,” Chad finished lamely, offering his frosting smeared fingers to Carlos. The younger teen eagerly accepted them, allowing his eyes to fall closed as he savored the flavor.

No matter how many sweets he’d had, Carlos’ expression was always that of wonder, of deep appreciation and gratitude, and it was hard not to get lost in that, in that simple thing.

Which was probably why Chad didn’t register Jay’s presence until he was literally _feet_ from them, staring down at them in confusion. 

“What the fuck?” he said, eyes darting between Carlos’ mouth and Chad’s spit-covered fingers and _Doug_ , for some reason.

“We’re practicing,” Carlos explained, licking at Chad’s fingers. “They feed each other in Auradon. It’s so weird.”

“Okay, _certain_ people feed each other in Auradon, like- couples. Or dating people,” Chad rushed to explain.

“Are you dating Carlos?” Jay asked, and Chad couldn’t tell if that idea made him angry or not.

“No- we are _practicing_ ,” Chad didn’t sputter. “He just said that.”

“You’re practicing,” Jay repeated.

“Yes.”

“Feeding each other.”

“ _Yes_.”

Jay considered them for a moment. “I want to practice,” he declared.

“Dude, _no_ ,” Carlos whined. “They have cupcakes.”

“Well,” Jay flopped down, snagging one of the cupcakes before crowding into Chad’s space. “I think Chad deserves a cupcake since he’s been doing such a good job feeding you.”

“You literally just got here,” Carlos grumbled. “He could have been doing a terrible job.”

“He has a point,” Chad said, but mostly to cut down on his nerves and confusion because Jay was literally – boxing him against his bed. “And um- you don’t have to-”

“Open up,” Jay declared in a tone that probably would have been flirtatious were Chad a girl, and then he promptly shoved the entire cupcake in Chad’s mouth.

“ _Jay_ ,” Carlos groaned while Chad _choked on a cupcake_. “You tool, you have to do it slowly.”

“What?” Jay seemed legitimately confused which would have been charming but Chad was too busy hocking up cupcake remains into Doug’s proffered napkin, coming back up for air with crumbs in his teeth and watery eyes.

“You-” Chad coughed, and it was a wet, gross thing. “-get points for um- enthusiasm, I guess.”

“Hold on.” Jay was offended now. “It couldn’t have been _that_ bad.”

“You shoved an entire cupcake in his mouth,” Carlos drawled. “ _Of course_ , it was bad.”

“Let me do it again,” Jay said, staring down at the selection. “Here-”

“Please don’t,” Chad coughed, but this time Jay was offering him a finger liberally smeared with frosting which- seemed entirely more manageable. And in the wake of those attempted puppy eyes, Chad supposed he could take pity on him. “ _Fine_.”

He allowed Jay to slide his fingers into his mouth, taking his time to suck off the chocolate spread with a few swipes of his tongue. Jay seemed mesmerized, and Chad supposed in a way it _was_ a form of trust, because he was letting the other teen do this, letting him _not_ choke him and Jay was risking Chad biting him and so far everything was turning out okay-

Slowly, ever so slowly, Jay started pumping his fingers in and out of Chad’s mouth. Chad took it as the challenge it was, attempting to get off the last of the frosting between the movements, hollowing his cheeks in a firm _suck_ to get the last of the remains.

He had the majority of Jay’s fingers in his mouth when he heard a very awkward - “Um.” From the door.

And there, low and behold, was Ben.

Who was next, Aziz? They may as well invite the entire boy’s dorm by this point.

“We’re practicing,” Carlos offered when it seemed Doug was too embarrassed and Jay was getting a sort of weird smarmy look on his face and Chad was still recovering from being ‘pampered’. 

“Practicing,” Ben echoed, his tone unreadable.

“I will be honest,” Chad managed after a few breaths. “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on anymore.”

“Jay isn’t choking you,” Carlos offered helpfully. “So that’s something.”

“ _Um_ ,” Ben declared louder, and then he turned on his heel and left, which was… fine.

“So,” Chad said after a few seconds. “Does anyone want to let Doug practice on them? Because that was sort of the point of this.”

“I volunteer!” Carlos said, eagerly jumping at the opportunity to get more snacks.

“And I volunteer to be your _guinea pig_ ,” Jay said with a wag of his brows, making Chad roll his eyes.

“Yeah, I get it, you like frosting.”

There were, probably, weirder ways to spend an evening. Chad couldn’t think of _what_ they were, exactly, but he was sure they existed.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Dude,” Aziz hissed sometime after breakfast the next day. “What did you _do_? Ben’s head has been in the clouds all day.”

“What makes you think _I_ have anything to do with it?” Chad shot back.

“Because it was _your_ room he was seen walking away from all messed up,” Aziz countered, not backing down an inch. “And that was after Carlos and Jay were seen entering it. So, I repeat, _what did you do?_ ”

“Man,” Chad sighed. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

Because if Chad was confused, everyone else would be worse.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Hey.” Mal cornered him when Chad had been lingering in a far corner of the library very much not spying on Carlos and Evie doing relatively harmless research things. “I want snacks too.”

“What?” Chad asked, still trying to process the complicated feelings that were kindled by Carlos and Evie’s awed appreciation of having _whole_ and _undamaged_ books.

“Feed me,” she elaborated, giving his arm a soft punch. “That’s an Auradon thing, right? Jay and Carlos said it was an Auradon thing.”

“It is a _romantic_ Auradon thing,” Chad corrected, because he felt like things were getting lost in cultural translation.

“You’re romancing Jay and Carlos?” Mal asked, brows furrowing. “Why are you romancing Jay and Carlos?”

“I’m not,” Chad replied smoothly, because he _was_ smooth and this wasn’t a weird conversation. “We were _practicing_.”

“Practicing,” Mal repeated. “Like all that practice dating stuff?”

“Does everyone know about that?” Chad grumbled.

Mal shrugged. “Ben’s dumb,” she said, likely referring to his tendency to give trust on the basis of _nothing_ and share what could be potentially damaging secrets with people he doesn’t really know.

“He is dumb,” Chad agreed, and then they spent a quiet moment of bonding over the to-be king’s considered ‘dumbness’.

“…it’s not a bad idea, though,” Mal began slowly, which was all the blaring warning Chad got before he knew things would go off the rails. “I want a practice date.”

“You know,” Chad sighed. “You could just get an _actual_ date.”

“I don’t _know_ Auradon.” Mal was pouting and Chad kind of hated the fact that it was a cute pout. She and Ben would have cute babies. _Ugh_. “I don’t know anything about your weird feeding each other ways-”

“Okay, that’s like one thing, and not even everyone does it-”

“Exactly!” she pressed, lowering her voice to a more respectable whisper when the librarian gave them the side eye. “I don’t know what should be expected or not. You don’t want me to get taken _advantage of_ , do you?”

This was payback for the stuff Chad had done with Evie, he knew. He felt it, in his bones, but Mal’s gaze was the sweetest form of malicious, and he had a feeling if he said no there would be hell to pay.

_Also_ , they were supposed to be giving the VKs a reason to like Auradon, so maybe he could work that into this.

Chad made a show of very dumbly considering this. “…I suppose you have a point.”

“Of course I do,” Mal chirped. “Now. You, me – practice date.”

“I’ll pick you up at noon tomorrow,” Chad decided, grateful that it was a Friday and he had Tourney obligations and Mal had standing in the crowd and making fun of Tourney obligations to keep them busy.

“It’s a _date_.” And with a wink, she was gone, leaving Chad to hastily throw together a plan for a date that couldn’t possibly be manipulated against him while also simultaneously being difficult to crash.

The things he did for peace. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Okay,” Chad explained as he guided Mal up the ramp, watching her gaze narrow at the covered arena of small, ovular cars. “The basic premise of this is that we have like, five minutes to smash into as many other cars as possible.”

“That’s it?” Mal asked, watching a group of tittering children make a mad scramble for the bumper cars in front of them. “How do we win?”

“There’s no winning,” Chad replied. “Only bumping.”

Mal considered this. “I _suppose_ it has promise.”

Five minutes later when Mal was laughing like a maniac behind the wheel of her blue and yellow car, Chad decided to consider bumper cars a _win_. 

They tried go-karts next. “This one has time trials,” he explained. “Since we all start in a line, so it is actually a competition.”

“Bring it,” Mal said, and it was _indeed_ brought, and they may have been asked to stay away from the go-karts for the rest of the day after Mal managed to spin someone out. 

Chad gave her a high five for that one though, because it was totally awesome. 

“I would feed you this,” Chad explained as they settled onto one of the metal picnic tables near the arcade area. “But pizza is sort of an experience in itself. And messy. Like, good messy.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Mal decided, and then her eyes lit up in a particular shade of green that made her seem younger, and she set into that pizza with relish.

“Not too fast,” Chad cautioned. “You don’t want to throw up. Also, I’m totally getting us milkshakes after this.”

“What is a _‘milkshake’_?” Mal asked, with all the respectable suspicion of someone hearing those words for the first time, and in hindsight, the name _was_ kind of hinky.

“It’s ice cream, but like, drinkable?” Chad had never had to explain this. “You can get whipped cream and cherry on top.”

“I’m _interested_ ,” Mal allowed, and then later her eyes lit up again around the mouth of her straw as she sucked down a birthday cake flavored milkshake. “What the hell?” she asked. “How can this thing exist? It’s so good?”

“Right?” Chad countered with a sip of his own strawberry shake. “It’s not fair.”

“Says you,” Mal scoffed. “You can get these things anytime you want.”

“I mean- obviously,” Chad scoffed, opting not to mention the assistants and _handlers_ Chad’s grandfather had a tendency to send after him lest he deviate from any plans, or the chefs back at Auradon Prep that had been expressly instructed on how much and what Chad was allowed to eat. He couldn’t even use the vending machines. It was so dumb. “But hey,” Chad continued so his efforts to maintain his dumb guy reputation wouldn’t piss Mal off. “Maybe we can snag some of these for the others on the way back? There’s a chocolate explosion flavor Carlos would like.”

“I’m listening,” Mal said, and then they spent the next few minutes hashing out the flavors they would get before they’d leave, Chad suggesting peanut butter for Jay because the other teen had seemed especially interested in it when they had been ‘practicing’ the other night, and Mal giving him a look of suspicion he truly did _not_ deserve.

Eventually, they made their way to the fair game area.

“So you… pop the balloon and then you get a prize?” Mal asked, seeming to find the entire process unnecessarily complicated.

Which, to be fair, it _was_. “The more balloons you pop, the better your prize is, but honestly, most of these things are rigged so-” Chad shrugged, managed to pop another balloon and offered the resulting prize bear to Mal. “Here you are?”

Mal was unimpressed. “I’ve seen better teddy bears on the Isle.”

“And _that_ is why I generally just buy my dates things,” Chad allowed with a shrug. “This is like, for nostalgia purposes, but practicality wise, you might as well just hit the shops.”

“Well then, shall we?” Mal asked, lifting her brows in an obvious challenge.

Little did she know, Chad was _all about_ shopping. “I believe we _shall_.”

-:-:-:-:-:-

They ended up with so many orders from a fabric store that Chad had to have their purchases delivered directly to Mal and Evie’s dorm room. They ransacked Doug’s bookstore and ended up repeating the process, Chad tracking down books on magic for Mal, tombs that cover the history and cultures of Agrabah, Hanover, Auradon, and what little there was of the Moors so they could get a better feel for their homelands. They found a better electrical toolkit for Carlos and Chad had jokingly held up some sparkly jewelry for Jay that he thought was funny, but Mal’s gaze lit up with a vengeance so he found himself buying it anyway, along with some new clothes to fill their immediate needs and candies and sports equipment (and of course art supplies for Mal).

There was a good chance Chad had already crossed the line for what was considered polite to spend on a person he wasn’t actually dating, but then they passed an electronics store and he figured _to hell with it_ , so he bought each of them phones with coordinating cases and spent thirty minutes helping Mal set hers up on a bench in the park. 

Eventually, they ended up back in Mal’s dorm room with the purchases they _hadn’t_ had delivered, the to-go milkshakes safely hidden in the dormitory freezer and bags strewn everywhere. Chad wasn’t sure how it ended up happening, but they both ended up collapsed on Mal’s bed, Chad’s head resting on her stomach as he stretched out against her side, her fingers playing with his curls as they let the exhaustion from their fake date wash over them.

“Okay, so-” Chad said between yawns. “A real date probably won’t have as much shopping, but the rest of the stuff was pretty accurate.”

“I liked when you opened the door for me,” Mal giggled, because she had found the entire thing an adorable gesture that catered to her sense of superiority, and therefore she had loved it. “Every door. And the milkshakes.”

“The milkshakes,” Chad agreed, swallowing a groan at the way she carefully scratched at his scalp. _Ugh_ , so not fair. Why did Mal have to be cool? She was the one who had essentially put a handicap on his stupid heart that made functioning the epitome of barely manageable.

“I have to admit,” Mal began with a drawl. “This dating stuff isn’t so bad.”

“Not if you practice it,” Chad agreed with his own subtle reminder. Because that had not been an actual date. They were not actually dating.

Further conversation was interrupted by Evie strolling into the room, raising one perfectly manicured brow at their explosion of shopping bags before setting her gaze on the two of them. “Should I leave you two alone?”

“ _Evie_ ,” Mal scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

“It’s your room,” Chad more substantially offered. “If anyone’s intruding, it’s me. You can be wherever you want, in here.”

“Can I?” Evie asked, deceptively mild, which should have warned Chad that she would climb onto the bed behind him, curling around his back like a particularly sleepy kitten.

Okay. This was- fine. Evie was just- holding him. That was a thing that happened. Not to Chad- not unless he could puppy eye Aziz or Jane into doing it for him, but here it was- nice. Really nice. 

“Problem?” Mal’s hands carded careful patterns into his hair.

Chad shivered. “N-no.”

“You’re trembling,” Evie hummed.

“Well, you’re really pretty,” Chad managed. “And a princess. This is a normal response.”

He felt Evie tense. “I’m not a recognized princess, though.”

“What?” Chad frowned. “Of course you’re a recognized princess. You’re Aunt Snow’s heir. You know-” He turned to look at her and she was still- very close. “Hanover’s crown princess?”

Mal’s hand stilled in his curls. “Explain.”

“Queen Grimhilde’s right to the throne was stripped away under the confirmed allegations of attempted murder,” Chad began slowly, trying to explain it as though it were a lesson that had been repeated to him many times so he wouldn’t forget it, because he had a dumb reputation to maintain. “Which was why she was sent to the Ilse, but she’s still of the royal bloodline. No one knew about your existence until you were like- ten, which was when Aunt Snow started campaigning for your removal from the Isle – I mean, more, she was already trying – and still _is_ trying – to get the kids off the Isle, but there’s a lot of paperwork and stuff involved so – anyway, the point is, Ben _had_ to bring you over with the first batch of Isle kids because otherwise Hanover would have definitely cut ties with Auradon, and now here you are.” There were a lot of missing details that maybe one day Chad would be able to share with Evie, but for now, he stuck with the basics. “They didn’t publicize your arrival until the last possible minute, so Aunt Snow’s currently in Arendelle wrapping up a major project, but she wants to meet you if you’re open to it.”

“I’m…” Evie blinked, seeming to struggle to take this information in. “I’m a princess?” 

“Until such a time you commit an atrocity great enough to be stripped of your rank, or make actions that would be actively detrimental to Hanover – yes, basically.”

He could feel Mal’s fingers tighten in his hair. “Audrey said that you don’t recognize the Evil Queen’s authority here.”

“You may not have noticed, but Audrey,” Chad began with a sweep of his fingers. “-is a bitch ass hoe. And like, not entirely _wrong_ , because we don’t recognize Queen Grimhilde’s authority, but Evie’s authority is given until proven otherwise – just like the rest of us young royals.”

Mal blinked, likely ruminating on the words ‘bitch ass hoe’.

Evie seemed to be blinking away moisture from her eyes. “So… as long as I’m good, I can- I can be a princess?”

“You already _are_ a princess,” Chad stressed, because this was the important part. Give her something to hold onto. Something better than the Isle. “You’ll have to follow the same rules of etiquette as everyone else, but like, you’re already mostly there. You just need brushing up on the traditional stuff. Besides.” He shrugged. “Everyone’s going to cut you a break since you’ve been stuck on the Isle most of your life and you’re young anyway. And if they _don’t_ , you should talk to Aunt Snow.” Snow White could be a vicious queen when what she loved was being threatened, and Chad had never been more grateful to receive someone’s tutelage than he had hers. “She’ll take care of them real quick.”

“…she likes me?” Evie asked. “She wants to get to know me?”

“Of course,” Chad replied. “You’re sisters.”

Sisters with a large age difference but, _sisters_ nonetheless. Aunt Snow, much like Chad, didn’t have much family. She was greedy about keeping what she had after the loss of her husband, much like Chad was with the loss of his mom. 

“Huh,” Mal mused after a few moments, clearly turning all of this over in her mind. If she was anything like Chad, she would have the others verifying his story at the earliest available opportunity. “Thank you, Chad. This deserves a reward, I think. Evie?”

The princess blinked, then slid into a smooth, seductive grin. “Of course, Mal.”

She spooned close to Chad’s back, holding him near while Mal played with his hair which just- was cheating on so many levels.

“ _Um_ ,” Chad said, feeling his cheeks flush from the relative level of _nothing_ that had been done to him.

“And you know what,” Mal continued. “Maybe you should take Evie on a practice walk. How about that?”

“Tomorrow,” Evie said, kissing his shoulder.

And that was that. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

Doug decided to join in on their traditional post-Tourney lake expedition and Chad knew he was done for. This was it; this was how he would die. Drowning on lake water because he was too busy drooling over stupid Prince Ben and remarkably _not_ stupid bookworm Doug because they were wearing swimsuits and it was _torture_. 

This time, they’d managed to convince Mal and Carlos to join them in the water as well, and Chad had _graciously_ latched onto teaching Carlos the swimming basics so as to get out of whatever shenanigans Ben had planned. At least the prince had thought to bring food this time, though all of it was savory, as post-swim sundaes were a concrete thing.

“This is stupid,” Carlos muttered, the cotton shirt he had worn clinging to his body, thoroughly saturated in water. “I mean, do we _really_ need to learn how to swim?”

“Learning it won’t hurt you,” Chad offered, though Carlos didn’t seem convinced, sporadically shifting his gaze from his own waterlogged shirt to Chad’s chest. “Look my dude, no one cares if you’re wearing a shirt or not. Fashion’s fashion. You’ve got to commit to your sense of style, we all respect that. No need to be self-conscious.”

Realistically, Carlos was likely hiding some scaring underneath his overly large shirt, but that wasn’t something Dumb Chad would think of so he didn’t mention it.

“I’ll get you a swim shirt for next time,” Chad continued. “It’s designed to get wet without like, drowning you.” Like Carlos’ current shirt was.

The small teen scrunched his nose. It was actually pretty cute. “Why?” he asked, gaze laden with suspicion. “Do you want me to do your homework too?”

“Okay, _ow_.” Though fair. “And no. I respect a guy with a sense of fashion. It is my duty as a fashion elite to kindle your aspiring um… design sense. Or something.”

“Did you… not understand your own sentence?” Carlos asked.

“Shut up and start floating,” Chad countered, flicking a handful of water into Carlos’ face, who took it with about as much grace as a startled flamingo. Which was to say, not much.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Chad wasn’t sure whose idea it was to introduce chicken fighting to the VKs but it was probably Ben’s because it was horrible and Chad hated it.

And yet, _somehow_ he found himself with Evie balanced on his shoulders, Mal cackling atop Jay – her chosen champion – as he attempted not to drown but also win against a guy whose only goal was winning. Chad was sure it made for an interesting sight.

“Forward, Jay!” Mal crowed, grin turning vicious when she lurched into Evie’s personal space, the princess laughing all the while. “To victory!”

Jay’s smirk was equally wicked because he was _definitely_ kicking Chad and somehow not losing balance. Which was just- a challenge so of course Chad had to kick him back. His honor was at stake. 

“Destroy them, Evie!” Chad huffed, because Jay was still smirking and that _would not stand_. “Make them taste watery defeat!”

“If anyone will be tasting defeat, it’s _you_!” Jay shot back, and then caught Chad hard enough behind the knee that the Evie-Chad tower collapsed in a fit of despair.

Fortunately, Chad was a petty soul, so he made sure to collapse _forward_ onto Jay and Mal, therefore taking them down as well, and they all sort of toppled in a giggling pile of objection. 

“ _Dude_ ,” Jay spat when they came back up above the water, pushing wet hair out of his face.

“Don’t _‘dude’_ me, Sir _Crafty_ ,” Chad shot back, because Jay didn’t get to act the victim when he had definitely taken that opportunity to feel up Chad’s chest. “I demand a rematch.”

Jay eyed him with a predatory gleam that generally would have made Chad more worried if he hadn’t had hair all in his eyes. “Only if you’re on my team.”

“Then it’s not a rematch, _you-_ ” Chad was cut off by Jay diving underwater and settling Chad bodily on his shoulders before he had any choice, forcing Chad to go with the flow of things lest he release a squawk or fail about in an un-princely fashion.

“Okay!” Jay declared while Chad was still gaining his bearings. “Who wants to fight the good hair crew?!”

At least the name was accurate, Chad reasoned, though it was weird to be lifted up so effortlessly. Chad was generally the base of these things, the one holding up the giggling princesses as they mock-battled while he and whoever else had gotten stuck on the bottom exchanged strained grins. 

Now he was painfully aware of the head between his legs and the hands that seemed determined to creep higher up his thighs.

“ _Excuse you?!_ ” Mal shot back, and then she was dragging Ben into the fray, except Ben seemed equally determined. “If anyone is the good hair crew, it’s us. And Evie.”

“And Jane!” the princess called from where she was watching on the steps.

“Wanna fight over it?” Jay asked, like _he_ was going to do the fighting, but then Chad remembered the kicking thing and hoped Ben had good shins.

“You _bet_ ,” Mal scoffed. 

While the other team got situated, Jay’s hands crept higher, sliding under the edge of Chad’s swim trunks.

“Getting a little high there, bud?” Chad asked, swatting at the other teen’s head.

Jay’s grin was relentless. “Just trying to get a better grip.”

“If your grip gets much better this fight’s gonna turn x-rated.”

“Promise?” Jay asked, and then the fight was on, Mal lunging back into action with relentless fury.

Here was the thing about Mal. Chad had been expecting her to fight dirty, welcomed it even as an opportunity to review her tactics. _But_.

Mal also scratched, and Chad found his body reacting to such ferocity in a way that he would rather _not_ have it react while being perched on Jay’s shoulders. 

“ _Push_ , Jay,” Chad hissed, though the other teen seemed more concerned with copping a feel of Chad’s thigh rather than kicking Ben which was just- unfair. 

“Don’t worry about them,” Mal huffed, her nails digging into the skin of Chad’s hands. “ _I’m_ your opponent now.”

“And you are _terrifying_ ,” Chad allowed, because flattery could get you a lot of places. “Jay, seriously – _focus_.”

“I _am_ focusing,” the other teen tried to sound innocent, though his grip had shifted to the inside of Chad’s thighs and he was fooling no one. “You seem to be having a good time.”

“I’d have a better one if we were _winning-_ ”

“Oops!” Ben yelled, and then Mal was screeching as she fell against Chad’s chest, both of them going down like pile of clumsy dominos.

“Did you literally just say _‘oops’_?” Chad sputtered when he got back above the water, Jay taking the opportunity to cop a feel before Chad waved him away. “What the hell, Ben?”

“Yeah, _Ben_ ,” Mal snapped, looking like a waterlogged cat. “What the _hell_?”

The future king offered them a sheepish shrug. “I slipped.”

“On what, your _hubris_?” Chad shot back, because he wasn’t just going to forgive that dumb grin even though that was the only thing he wanted to do, and maybe grope Ben as much as Jay attempted to grope him.

“Rematch?” Ben asked. “Except I’ll be Chad’s partner.”

“For the last time, that is not how rematches _work_ ,” Chad griped, but then he was also being settled on Ben’s shoulders because he was a stubborn shit and Chad wanted to die because Ben was touching him, was touching his legs and was very close to places Chad would rather he not be.

“ _Fine_ ,” Mal huffed, and then she was climbing onto Jay’s shoulders because she waited for no man.

“Fair warning, Jay kicks,” Chad said as they began to grapple.

“What?” Ben’s grip tightened on his legs which was unjust in many ways. “He didn’t last- _Jay!_ ”

“It’s war.” Jay’s grin was relentless. “And it’s not against the rules!”

“Not attempting minor assault is sort of an unspoken rule, but I understand where you’re coming from,” Chad muttered, and he likely imagined the way Ben’s hands seemed to be drifting higher.

“Gotta utilize all forms of strategy to win,” Mal growled. “Like a _surprise attack!_ ”

And with that she swiped at Chad’s chest, nails raking across pale skin in a delicious burn of pain and- other things that Chad immediately surrendered. He couldn’t do it; he wasn’t strong enough and he _definitely_ couldn’t do anything with Ben holding onto him like _that_.

“Oh no!” He declared, flopping backwards. “I have lost my balance!”

“Chad, you _twerp!_ ” Mal yelled, but he was already swimming away, trying to calm his heartrate because there were many things he was made for, but this was not one of them. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

It got worse.

In that Doug wanted to get in on the chicken action so Chad ended up carting _him_ around, and while this was never the way he had dreamed of being between Doug’s legs, his stupid hormone-ridden body decided it was more than enough and also not enough and also _Doug was killing him_.

Like Carlos, Doug had opted to wear a shirt though unlike Carlos, he didn’t care all that much when it floated up around him and Chad got glimpses of that forever elusive pale stomach. Chad could have gone his whole life without seeing that reclusive territory and now he knew what was there, taunting him for the rest of his days. Now _Chad_ wouldn’t be able to sleep at night because he knew five feet away was that dumb stomach he wanted to suck and kiss at until Doug was clutching at his curls, panting and writhing but still eager for more. 

Ben had managed to convince Jane to join in on the action though that team almost always failed due to Jane’s shyness and lack of killer instinct. After seeing Jay get that predatory look in his eye again, Chad had swooped up Carlos and taken him for a very reluctant spin, the young De Ville seeming more intent on clutching Chad’s hair than any of his opponents as he tried and failed to maintain his balance. 

Mal claimed him in what Chad assumed was recompense because she spent her efforts trying to scratch him as much as possible while climbing up on his shoulders, and then she had her fingers twisted in his hair while they waited for the others to get ready, giving it the occasional yank that made Chad very glad that his bottom half was safely hidden by the water.

He swam an extra few laps ‘ _for exercise’_ while the others clambered out of the lake, though Jay lingered near the steps to sneak in one last groping before they all descended on the food. At least the guy was consistent.

“I can see why you guys do this,” Doug said later when they were making sundaes, though it didn’t escape his inquisitive gaze that Chad didn’t have a bowl, though the blond prince managed to successfully redirect the conversation any time he tried to bring it up.

“Because it’s awesome and we’re awesome?” Jay tried, making a show of sucking chocolate sauce off his thumb.

Chad valiantly did not giggle, and rewarded himself with a bite of Jane’s sundae as a reward. 

“Because it’s good,” Doug settled on. “And you should share good things with your friends.”

They fell into silence afterwards, the VKs looking thoughtful and Doug unapologetic, and Chad wondered if they were winning them over.

He certainly hoped they were. He hoped they knew Doug was being honest.

And that he spoke for all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented, kudo-ed, bookmarked, and subscribed to last chapter! I'm always grateful for you feedback, and I'm glad this story is being so well-received ^_^
> 
> I'll probably post the next chapter on Saturday as well, as my Sunday's are going to be hectic for a little bit :)
> 
> Story notes: 
> 
> Gonna go ahead and say that Cruella was settled in Central Auradon before she got booted away, which was why Chad got a book on it for Carlos. 
> 
> In-canon Snow White’s kingdom is technically ‘Charmington’, but I renamed it to Hanover, which I think is significantly cooler and sounds closer to an actual kingdom.
> 
> Until next time :)


	4. Crashing and Burning but Mostly Burning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING – This chapter does feature non-explicit abuse. It does not get graphic, but it does happen. Please see the endnotes for more details. It also features non-consensual drugging that does not end in happy snuggles, and while that situation does not end as poorly as it could - it does, again, happen.

In the beginning, Tourney had been a sort of expectation for Chad that he had learned to live with. Being that it was the most popular sport in all of Auradon and as a public figure, Chad had certain obligations to meet to confirm his own popularity, he was pretty much required to participate in the weird, useless sport. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Tourney had something to offer – tactics and coordination and teamwork were involved – these were just all things Chad thought could be achieved better through literally anything else. 

So he resigned himself to Tourney, then resigned himself to being _good_ at Tourney (because no prince could just warm the bench) and took comfort in the fact that Ben was also on the team and he got to watch him run around and be sweaty, which filled certain needs for Chad that he’d rather not discuss.

But then Jay and Carlos had joined the team, and things had actually gotten kind of fun. Because Jay liked _winning_ , but he was also just so enthusiastic that it made the sport interesting, made _practice_ interesting, and what was once an obligation with the occasional highlight of shirtless Ben and joking with Aziz soon became something Chad actually looked forward to on Fridays.

So Chad was actually sort of exited for the game when he went outside the stadium for his weekly pre-game selfie ritual (really it was just an excuse to check up on things in Sardinia so his mind could be at peace for the next few hours). There’d be the game and then fun times at the lake and then sundaes, and then he’d get back to work tomorrow, back to the expectations and the planning and always looking one step ahead. It was good. It was great, even.

“Chad,” a voice called with a forced kind of cheer, causing Chad to blink away from his phone to find Audrey gliding toward him with an exaggerated sway to her hips. “Ready for the big game?”

“I was born ready,” Chad drawled in response, tucking his phone away safely into the pocket of his uniform in case he needed to run. You never knew with Audrey. “And you? Are you ready to uh- cheer?”

“ _Always_.” Her smile was so forced it looked like it hurt, but she didn’t let that stop her from pushing in close to Chad, trying to assert her authority despite being half a head shorter than him. “Have you been having fun on your _practice dates_?”

So _that_ was what she wanted.

“Sometimes,” Chad replied honestly. “It depends.” Ben was sort of hopeless.

“Really?” Audrey asked, though it wasn’t really a question, not when it seemed like she already knew the answer. “So he hasn’t gotten into your pants yet?”

Chad wasn’t sure why Audrey cared about this; she knew as well as Chad did that Ben was straight.

Chad forced himself to maintain an easy smile. “That’s not the part of dating we practice, Audrey.”

“Good,” she murmured. “It’s going to stay that way. _Oops_.” Before Chad could move, Audrey faked a stumble into a kneeling position and with lightning reflexes, jabbed _something_ into Chad’s knee. It was brief pinprick, there and gone in an instant, and then Audrey was shifting back to her feet, smile spread so wide like a Cheshire cat. “Sorry.”

“What the _hell_ , Audrey?” Chad stared down at his knee, frowning at the spills of warmth he could already feel emanating from the injection site. Chad had developed an immunity for most poisons, so he shouldn’t be feeling _this_ much of a reaction, unless what she had given him wasn’t a poison at all. “What-?”

“Ben thinks your special,” Audrey hissed, dragging Chad forward by the neck of his jersey until she could talk directly into his ear. “But once he figures out what a slut you are, he’ll realize the error of his stupid fake dating plan and come crawling back to me.” She released his collar with a flip of her hair, fixing him with a victorious look. “Your public humiliation will simply be a bonus. Toodles, Chad.”

With that, she left him, not that Chad could focus much on that when he felt the continued effects of _whatever_ she had doused him with spreading through his body. He could feel his temperature rising, breath coming in short pants as his body seemed to- _feel_ everything so much greater. The brush of the under-padding against his chest, the oppressive feeling of the thick tourney gloves against his fingers, his jockstrap-

 _Fuck_ , that was- he did not want to think about that last one, because all at once he realized what she’d actually hit him with.

“ _Aziz_ ,” Chad muttered as he slid back into the locker room, knowing he only had minutes before they’d be called out onto the field. “ _Aziz_ , you shit.”

“What?” The Agrabah prince deigned him with maybe two seconds of annoyance before it gave way to concern. “Dude, what the hell happened to you?”

On reflex, the two of them ducked into a secluded area of the locker room, Chad keeping his gaze fixed to where the rest of the team was. “Audrey injected me with some kind of aphrodisiac.”

“Wha- _why_?” Aziz settled on. “What the fuck?”

“I don’t know, man,” Chad hissed. “She had some kind of super villain plan about how she wants Ben to find out I’m a slut, or something.”

“Everyone knows that.” Aziz looked as confused as Chad felt. “How would Ben not know that? We specifically propagate those rumors.”

“I don’t know, okay?” And Aziz asking him to try and consider it with any sort of rationality at this moment was just unfair. “I think she was more excited about the public humiliation bit.”

“How is this even affecting you? I thought you were immune to this shit.”

“To poisons,” Chad hissed. “I made myself immune to most _poison_ , not to- aphrodisiacs.”

“Well, fuck,” Aziz summarized nicely. “Can you play sick?”

“My grandfather actually came to this game,” Chad muttered, realizing this was likely why Audrey had waited to do this until now. “Even if I actually was sick, he’d make me play.”

“For the record, your grandfather’s a dick.”

“ _Aziz_.” This was not information Chad did not know. “Any _helpful_ ideas?”

“…I’ll try to block for you?” He offered. “Maybe we can get you put on shooter.”

“No,” Chad sighed. “Taylor’s too good at it.”

“Well, between the pads and the uniform most of the um- side effects are covered, right?” Chad nodded. “Then keep your helmet on and try to muscle through until half-time. We’ll regroup there.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Chad muttered.

Honestly, he had done worse things. It didn’t seem like it, in that moment, but he _had_ done worse things.

It took every ounce of Chad’s focus not to fall apart on the field. To pretend to give a shit and not flinch away any time Ben tried to pat him on the back, or when Jay carefully bumped their helmets together. It was torture running up and down the field with an aching pain between his legs, and more than once the um- friction and adrenaline would make him lose himself, though luckily he always managed to hide those moments until a celebration, or by staying down after he’d gotten tackled to recover. 

By the time half-time rolled around, Chad mostly wanted to curl up in a small ball and die, but he settled on frantically making his way to the boy’s bathroom so he could clean up some problems.

Of course by the time he got there it was locked. Which was how he came to rest his head pathetically on the restroom door, wishing the ground could swallow him whole. He knew at this point, Audrey was likely expecting him to be so desperate for a reprieve that he went to the girl’s restroom, where some sort of ambush was likely waiting for him that would lead to a scandal and all sorts of very horrible things, so Chad _knew_ it wasn’t an option but Chad’s genitals desperately wanted it to _be_ an option, so.

“Hey.”

Chad _jumped_ at the sound of Jay’s voice, flattening his back against the door to sluggishly blink at the other teen, who was of course, frowning. Why _wouldn’t_ he be frowning? It would just be Chad’s luck for him to not be normal.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jay asked, studying Chad’s face with an intensity that made certain parts of Chad very appreciative.

“Bathroom,” Chad managed, pressing his hands flat against the door. “Gotta- it’s locked.”

Jay considered it for a second, then held up a hand. “Hold on,” he said, and then he disappeared back into the locker room. 

When he came back a few minutes later, it was with Carlos and Ben in tow.

“What’s with you, dude?” Carlos asked, motioning for them to crowd around Jay so he could- oh, he was picking the lock. “You haven’t taken your helmet off all game, and you usually take it off as soon as you can because it _‘ruins your hair’_.”

“Worried about um- head trauma,” Chad decided, wishing it were less sexy for Jay to be breaking into a public space for him.

“No you’re not.” Carlos frowned. “Are you sick?”

Chad shrugged. “Probably.”

“ _Chad_.” Ben was surging forward, and that was just- the last thing Chad needed him to do. “You shouldn’t be playing if you’re sick.”

“Have to,” Chad said, trying to bat away the stubborn fingers that were reaching for his helmet. “My grandfather’s here.”

“Your grandfather would understand you taking a night off, you’ve got a fever,” Ben decided, despite the fact that Chad wouldn’t let him get close to his face.

“Think I know my grandfather better than you, Ben.” The Duke wasn’t all that reasonable about these sorts of things, but Chad suspected it was mostly because he didn’t like Chad. Or Chad’s mom. “Look, it’s fine, we’ve only got two more quarters and then I’ll go pass out in my room.”

“Got it,” Jay said before Ben could argue again, and Chad gratefully pushed his way into the room, making a beeline for one of the stalls.

“This isn’t _fine_ , Chad.” Of _course_ , Ben would follow him in, and by the sounds of it, so did the other two. “You’re not at your best and you could get hurt.”

“I’ve been doing fine so far,” Chad said, ripping off his gloves and tossing them on top of the toilet tank. “And not that I don’t appreciate the company, but could you guys _leave_?”

“And risk you passing out with no one to help you?” Ben challenged. “ _No_.”

 _Ugh_. Fuck Ben. He was the worst. Being so thoughtful and lovely and stupidly good looking in his Tourney uniform.

“Think you’re stuck with us,” Jay mused, which was just the thing Chad needed to hear as he eased his uniform shorts down, fingers shaking as they brushed against his jockstrap.

“When did you feel it start to come on?” Carlos asked, by the sounds of it, pacing up and down the length of the bathroom. “You seemed fine for warmups.”

“It was- um- sudden.” Chad bit down on his lip _hard_ when he pulled his strap away from his groin, flushing at the liberal amount of fluid therein. He hoped they couldn’t smell it. _Fuck_ , this was the worst. He wanted nothing more than to touch himself but he couldn’t because they were _right there_.

“The flu can strike fast,” Ben said with all his wisdom of someone who had earned his knowledge from books and not firsthand experience. “Maybe we should cancel our visit to the lake tonight.”

“Um _no_.” What the hell was wrong with this guy? “There’s no reason for you to cancel just- go without me. I’ll sleep it off.” And die of shame slowly.

“You shouldn’t be alone,” Ben pressed, and it was just- what Chad needed, listening to Ben be nice and considerate while he had to clean up the mess in his jockstrap and ignore the tellingly hard pain throbbing between his legs.

“I’m with Ben on this one,” Jay said – _Jay_ , who avoided feelings talk when he could. “It’d be hard to have fun while you’re like, throwing your guts up.”

“I’m not throwing up _now_.” No, _now_ Chad had different problems. “Guys, don’t like- make me be the reason you miss a tradition. I’d feel bad.”

Guilting them was the best option Chad had to go with because if he had to deal with this for a second longer, he was going to explode. Literally. Figuratively. 

“Okay, now I’m definitely staying,” Carlos griped. “You’re usually all over being catered to.”

“ _Carlos_ ,” Chad whined for reasons that had nothing to do with sex and how the other teen’s quick deductions affected him. “ _Please_ , just go. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m talking to coach,” Ben declared, having had enough of this. “Can you guys stay with him?”

“Deal,” Jay grumbled and that was- fine.

Chad finished cleaning himself up and flushed the remnants of his misdeeds away, stumbling out to wash his hands. If Jay and Carlos weren’t there, he would have splashed water in his face, but as it was, he had to keep his stupid helmet on, lest they see how sweaty and flushed he was.

“Is this a macho thing?” Carlos asked. “Like, you’ve got to suffer and silence or else you’re weak? I didn’t think you did that in Auradon.”

“This is a _being practical_ thing,” Chad snapped. “I’m not going to get magically better if you all crowd me. Let me wallow in misery by myself.”

“No,” Jay said, making a show of staring at his nails because he was actually an asshole.

Like, a sexy one, but still an asshole.

“Okay,” Ben popped back in just as Chad was willing to give up on the world. “Coach is pulling you from the game. He’s going to talk to your grandfather-” Like _that_ was going to go well. “And he’s gonna let Carlos escort you back to your room as soon as you get changed.”

And that was just- a horrible idea. As Chad’s padding was the only reason no one had realized his predicament, yet. Audrey hadn’t been banking on that, but she _also_ probably hadn’t expected Chad’s restraint, so the joke was really on her. 

“Can I just- go now?” Chad asked, giving up on obstinance to be pitiful. “I’ll return my gear later.” After it’d been thoroughly cleaned.

The others shared a look that they didn’t even bother to hide from him.

“Sure,” Ben said eventually, and that was how Carlos and Chad came to slowly walk back to the Boy’s Dormitories in their Tourney Gear. 

Chad had kept an eye out for wandering cheerleaders until they could no longer see the stadium, didn’t really breathe again until they were back in his and Doug’s room.

“ _Finally_ ,” he groaned, tossing his gloves aside and making a beeline for the bathroom. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere,” Carlos said, which was all the warning Chad got before the other teen just, _followed_ him into the bathroom.

This was. No.

“ _Carlos_ ,” Chad whined. “I’ve got this. This part I can handle. I mean- I walked all the way here. Let me shower in peace.”

“And what if you slip and fall and hit your head?” he asked. “Then I’m the villain kid who let some prince get hurt. How’s that going to look?”

Especially shitty, and Chad had no real reasonable argument against this except for the truth of the situation.

So he went with that.

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked, hormones buzzing in a relentless fire that made it difficult to think.

Carlos perked up, indicating that he was as bad about gossip as Aziz and Lonnie. “… _maybe_.”

“Gonna need a ‘definitely’, dude,” Chad huffed. “I promise it’s not something that will hurt your friends.” He paused. “It’s um- embarrassing.”

Humiliating, was the real word for it, but whatever.

This seemed to settle things for Carlos. “Okay,” he said. “Go on.”

“Yeah, I’m not sick,” Chad said it in a rush, yanking off his helmet and tossing it to the side. “I’m just like- really fucking horny. So if you could just-” He motioned out the door. “I can take care of myself.”

Carlos blinked at him. “…what?”

“I’m _horny_.” So horny he didn’t have words for it. “And if you could get the others to like- go back to their original plans, I’d appreciate it.”

“You’re horny,” Carlos echoed, like he didn’t quite believe him.

“ _Yes_ ,” Chad hissed, shirking off his jersey. “It’s awful. I hate it.”

“You’re- _so_ horny that it’s thrown you off the entire game. That it got you kicked _out_ of the game,” Carlos clarified.

“Yep.” Chad kicked off his cleats, yanking off the stupid socks and just- not caring anymore.

“ _How_ could you be horny for that long?” Carlos asked. “Why haven’t you taken care of it?”

“Because _some people_ decided to follow me into the bathroom!” Chad snapped, struggling out of his long-sleeve under-padding.

“Oh,” Carlos said, looking a bit lost. “That explains some things.”

“You _think_?” Finally, Chad was able to free his torso, a bright flush spilling down his chest coated by a thin sheen of sweat. “Can I um-” He motioned to his shorts. “Fix that, now?”

“I mean-” Carlos blinked. “Sure.”

There was a pause.

“ _Without_ you?”

Carlos flushed. “I could help, you know,” he grumbled, looking at the floor. “You know, for practice.”

There was a ringing in Chad’s ear. He thought it was mostly disbelief. “What?”

“Practice,” Carlos said, getting a bit more confident. “Mal gave you permission-”

“To _kiss_ you, not to-”

“Well, _you_ won’t be doing anything,” Carlos decided, shucking off his shoes. “I’ll do um- stuff to you.”

That was- Chad did not need to hear those words, especially not now, never now, _what the hell_.

“Carlos,” he said helplessly as the other teen began to strip. “Come on, man-”

“Just turn on the shower,” Carlos ordered, and Chad, at a loss, did just that. 

This was stupid, this was stupid, this was stupid-

But Carlos was already locking to door, stripped down to his undershirt and uniform shorts. He cocked a brow at Chad’s half-dressed state. “You gonna take the rest of that off?”

“Um-” Chad flushed. “Just don’t um- judge me.”

He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

Chad pulled off his shorts but didn’t remove the strap until he was _in_ the shower stall, conscious of the mess that fell out of it and spread across his legs.

Carlos, who had just slipped into the shower door, blinked. “Oh.”

“Shut up,” Chad hissed, but the feel of water against him was just- a lot, and it didn’t take long for him to lose himself, to become a shuddering mess against the wall.

“That was fast,” Carlos noted, though it didn’t seem cruel. He was mostly watching Chad’s abandoned jockstrap and the rekindled interest between his legs. “And _that_ was fast.”

“I told you,” Chad gasped. “Super horny.”

“Yeah, you did,” Carlos said, and then there was a um- hand on him.

What followed was a horrifying cycle of Chad getting aroused very quickly, falling apart very quickly, and shuddering into the firm contact of Carlos’ hand.

He was sore by the end of it, a bone deep ache that faded into stubborn tingles that Chad would probably be feeling tomorrow.

“That… wasn’t natural,” Carlos finally deduced. “Did someone drug you?”

“Maybe,” Chad huffed, trying to catch his breath. “But their admittedly stupid plan didn’t work, so go me.”

Carlos was frowning now. “Was someone trying to get you to have sex with them?”

Chad laughed, and for whatever reason, it didn’t seem weird to be naked in a shower with a half-clothed Carlos De Ville, which was a sentence Chad literally never thought would occur to him.

“Aw, man,” Chad managed when the giggles died down. “ _Fuck_ , no.”

“So they just wanted you to suffer,” Carlos realized, which- wasn’t wrong. “Who was it?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Chad waved him off, reaching for some soap. “I’m gonna clean up, unless- do you need?” He motioned to Carlos, hoping the other teen would figure out the word ‘reciprocation’ on his own.

Carlos considered this for a moment, then looked down at himself. “Nah, I’m good. Could use some soap, though.”

Which was how Chad came to _shower_ with one Carlos De Ville – though the other teen never took off his clothes, likely embarrassed by whatever scars they hid.

Chad, being a gentleman and one to pay back his debts, was the one who got them clothes. He figured that lending Carlos something clean was the very least he could do, and was rewarded for this generosity by getting to see his sweater hang off the other teen’s shoulders, sleeves trailing past his knuckles and sweatpants gathering at his feet. So cute. Chad hid their dirty uniform clothes in a trash bag to get cleaned later and stuffed it in the back of his closet before joining Carlos for a satisfying _flop_ onto his bed.

Fuck, Chad was tired, and naptime seemed like the most brilliant idea in the world.

If Carlos’ sleepy expression was anything to go by, he agreed. “Wanna-” Cue an adorable yawn. “-rest our eyes until the others get here?”

“Yeah, that’s-” Chad swallowed a yawn of his own, passing Carlos the soft quilt Jane had made him for his birthday. “-a good plan.”

He thought nothing of it when Carlos curled against his side, seeing as the other teen had helped him out by not like, freaking out entirely. There would be hell to pay later with his grandfather, and planning meetings to figure out whatever the hell Audrey wanted, but until then, he wanted to rest. 

This one time, he could indulge himself.

-:-:-:-:-:-

It just showed how out of it Chad was that he didn’t register another person in the room until an insistent _slam_ against the floor had him blinking into awareness, torn between struggling into the sitting position and protecting the warm body nearby, leaving him in a half-hunched position. 

When his eyes focused, it was to the alarming sight of his grandfather posed right next to the bed, his cane digging hard into the floor, which was likely what had woken Chad in the first place. Of course he looked displeased, which was his grandfather’s default expression when dealing with Chad, but there seemed to be an extra vexation when the Duke realized who, exactly, Chad was sharing a bed with.

Well, _fuck_.

“Chadwick,” he began simply, allowing distaste to permeate his tone. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better.”

He didn’t make an effort to sound genuine, since the effects of the aphrodisiac were mostly non-apparent, which meant he probably thought Chad had decided to play hooky.

“Grandfather.” Chad settled for sitting up while attempting to block Carlos from view, who had woken about the same time as Chad did, if the tension in his body was anything to go off of. “My apologies for missing the game. I was hit with a sudden sickness.”

“A sickness that seems to have passed,” his grandfather noted, his steely gaze shifting from Chad to Carlos. “And who might this be?”

He knew very well who it was, but Chad played along well enough, plastering on his best smile. “This is my friend, Carlos De Ville. He’s one of the transfer students from the Isle.”

“Is he now?” his grandfather asked, shifting so that he could loom over them from the foot of the bed. “What a considerate _friend_ you have, Chadwick.”

“I’d like to think so,” Chad said, willfully ignoring the slight. He turned to Carlos before things could get ugly, the other teen still frozen in place. “Carlos, could you go check on the others? I need to talk to my grandfather real quick. Catch up, you know.”

Among other things.

Carlos blinked out of his shock. “Are you sure-?”

“He is,” the Duke interrupted, reaching near the end of his patience. “Though your concern is appreciated, young man.”

He said this with an expression one might use on a wad of old gum stuck to the sole of your favorite shoe, and there was no way for Carlos to miss it, no way _anyone_ could have missed it, not even Dumb Chad.

“It’s okay,” Chad assured him, squeezing his shoulder before nodding through the door. “Thanks, Carlos.”

Reluctantly, the other teen nodded. “Of course.”

He exited the room with silent footsteps, Chad conscious of the considering look his grandfather gave Carlos’ borrowed clothes, _knowing_ that they had to be Chad’s, that they had ended up in Chad’s bed, even though everything had remained (relatively) innocent.

The Duke was kind enough to wait for the door to shut behind Carlos before going over to lock it, and Chad took that time to slide out of the bed. If he was going to be dressed down, he should do it on his feet, even if he wouldn’t end there.

“You’re getting awfully familiar with them, Chadwick,” the Duke said without buildup, cutting to the heart of the issue. “ _Too_ familiar.”

“You know what they say.” Chad shrugged. “Keep your friends close…”

And your enemies within range of your primary weapon.

His grandfather had been the one to teach him that, though he still seemed unsatisfied with the explanation.

“There are limits, Chadwick,” he drawled, cocking his head to beckon Chad closer to him. “And appearances to maintain. Ducking out halfway through a game after such a terrible showing, making up some illness to _debase_ yourself in such a way is not acceptable.” He cradled his cane in his hands, indicating that punishment would be immanent, though Chad had already known that. “You were raised better.”

“I know.”

“If you _know_ ,” his grandfather said slowly, turning the cane so he held it by the bottom, allowing the metal balled handle to hang low. “Then it is an especially heinous crime.”

This was all the warning Chad got before the cane lashed out, the heavy metal catching him hard between the legs, pulling a broken cry from Chad’s mouth. It hurt – _fuck_ – with everything so oversensitive from Audrey’s stupid drugs the blossoming pain erupted into something unmanageable, something so overwhelming that his legs refused to hold him, causing Chad to sink down to his knees.

“Don’t cry, Chadwick.” And it was then Chad felt the warm tears pooling at the corners of his eyes, a stinging reaction he couldn’t fight because it hurt so much. “Your actions reflect on your father.” Another blow, but this one was to his thigh, high enough so no one would ever see it. “On your kingdom.” His other thigh. “And the way you follow Prince Benjamin around like a lovesick _fool-_ ”

“I’m supposed to-” He choked as another blow caught his hip. “-h-help Ben.”

“From a _distance_.” The Duke glowered, stalking around Chad so he could lay into his backside, strike the padded muscles of his rear until Chad couldn’t even consider such _distasteful_ intimate relations for the immanent future. “And yet you insist on inserting yourself where you are not _wanted-_ ” Chad lost track of the blows he received, only knew that his shaky grip on the bedframe was all that kept him upright. “People notice, Chadwick. And you still haven’t found a future queen-”

“I will,” Chad promised, but it was an old argument, one his grandfather had refused to listen to before and listened to even less now. “I understand my duty-”

“If you _understood_ , you would perform it!” Another strike between his legs and Chad was sobbing, half crumpled and gasping for air to try and ride out the pain. 

There was no concern for future reproductive capabilities as his grandfather had already acquired the necessary samples from Chad when he had hit puberty, which made this more or less a free for all.

When it was finally done, Chad could feel the dark bruises beginning to form, and his grandfather’s chest heaved with exertion.

“Do you think I like doing this?” he asked, which was a bold _lie_ because he’d always hated Chad, hated him and his blond hair that made him so markedly his mother’s. “Do you think I enjoy having to discipline you, Chadwick? But there are standards we are expected to maintain.” He lowered the rod so he could rest his weight on it. “Please strive to achieve them going forward.”

This was the sentiment the Duke left him with, not bothering to so much as glance at Chad when he exited the room. The door locked with a menacing _click_ , meaning he’d been locked inside once more, but Chad ignored that, focused on steadying his breathing again. It was difficult through the physical pain (the mental he had long come to condition himself against), and by the time the door clicked back open again, he was _slightly_ less pathetic than before.

“ _Shit_.” It was Lonnie, clad in Auradon blue and yellow, clutching her first aid kit disguised as a purse. “He really did a number on you this time.”

“Let’s just say it’s not the um- best day to be me,” Chad managed through clenched teeth, tilting his face back so she could rub at his tears with a damp washcloth. She must have stopped by her room before coming here.

“Sorry,” she murmured, tucking the towel back into her purse and returning with a cold compress to rest against his eyes, trying to cut down on the puffiness before they could swell too much. “I was keeping Mal and Evie distracted, didn’t notice your grandfather had left the private boxes until Jane sent me a text.”

“Nothing you could have done,” Chad said, holding the compress in place with a shaky hand.

“Could have set off the fire alarm,” she countered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Would have only delayed it.” Though it could have potentially kept Carlos out of the line of fire, which Chad would now have to be on the look for. “He caught me and Carlos asleep.”

“ _Damnit_ ,” Lonnie muttered, raising him into the standing position. “We’ll worry about that later. Can you walk?”

“I’ll manage.” He didn’t _want_ to, but he realized he needed to get out of here before Doug or the others came back.

“That dick,” Lonnie hissed. “That giant, royal _dick_.”

“I’ll say,” Chad giggled, and then they made their very slow journey to the door.

“There isn’t much time left in the game,” Lonnie huffed, struggling to balance Chad’s weight while she fumbled with the door. “Aziz will get here as soon as he can-”

Her voice cut off when the door swung open, though Chad could tell by her sudden tension that she hadn’t been the cause of that particular development.

“What happened?” It was Carlos, his breath coming in light pants, as though he’d run all the way here. “What’d he do?”

“Is Chad hurt?” That was- it was Doug. Carlos must have run and gotten Doug from the stadium, though why he’d chosen Chad’s roommate of all people was beyond him.

“We can’t do this now,” Lonnie huffed, her voice soft but unyielding. “I’ve got to get Chad to my room.”

“Why?” Carlos asked, stepping inside. “Is his grandfather going to come back?”

“Doubt it,” Chad gasped, feeling his legs begin to tremble, even with Lonnie’s help supporting his weight. “Lonnie-”

“I know,” she soothed. “Guys, we’ve got to _go_.”

“No.” If Lonnie was stubborn than Carlos was unmovable. “Whatever happened was my fault. I’m not just going to pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Does he- should I get a doctor?” Doug asked, worry clear in his tone. “He’s sick, right?”

“Actually-” Carlos began.

“ _Secret_ ,” Chad hissed. “Please, just-” He felt his legs spasm.

Lonnie sighed. “You guys want to help, go get ice.” 

He could _feel_ Carlos’ confused blinks. “…what?”

“ _Doug_ ,” Lonnie turned to the other teen. “Go to the kitchen and get as much ice as you can. There should be a cart hidden in the small closet, use that.” Chad felt her motion towards the door. “ _Go_.”

There was a brief moment of hesitation before they finally left, Lonnie locking the door behind them before relieving Chad of the cold compress. “Okay, change of plans.”

“Y-you should- text Jane.” And Aziz, but Lonnie could figure that much out on her own. “Distract the others-”

“I’m on it.” She fumbled with her phone even as she half-dragged him towards his bathroom, navigating them both inside with the determination of a rising general. She was huffing by the time she sat him on the edge of the tub, but she managed it. “Try to take deep breaths now, okay? I’m going to give you some Advil, though it probably won’t help much.”

‘That’s- fine,” Chad gasped, eagerly accepting the pills from Lonnie and swallowing them dry. “A-anything will- work.”

“That fucker,” Lonnie growled as she started filling the tub with cold water. “I hope he trips on that stupid cane and dies.”

“Don’t say that where people could hear you,” Chad gasped. “Never know-”

“I don’t need you to be reasonable right now,” Lonnie muttered, then turned her attention on him. “Okay, arms up.”

She disrobed him with efficient, practiced motions – the practical necessity of the situation cutting through any potential awkwardness. It wasn’t the first time Lonnie had seem him naked and it likely wouldn’t be the last, though the reasons would never be for recreational purposes.

He was trembling by the time she helped lower him into the tub, flinching away from the cold water, though he knew it would only get worse.

“I think they’re here,” Lonnie said, combing a hand through Chad’s hair. “I’ll be right back.”

Despite the running water, Chad could still hear the conversation carry through the bathroom door.

“ _Is this enough?_ ” Doug asked. “ _We can go back for more-_ ”

“ _This is fine_ ,” Lonnie replied. “ _You’ve gotten more than enough_. _Thanks, guys_.”

“ _I’m not leaving_ ,” Carlos repeated. “ _I can’t **go-**_ ”

“ _You can if you want to help Chad._ ” In her more extreme moments, Lonnie could be a terrifying force to recon with, and Chad had no doubt that she was unleashing the full extent of this ferocity to get the other two to listen quickly. “ _What happens here, **stays** here_.”

“ _Did-_ ” Doug sounded shaken. “ _Did his grandfather-_ ” 

“ _Don’t start something you can’t finish, Doug_ ,” Lonnie warned. “ _This is going to be handled, but it has to be done the right way._ ”

“ _And what’s that?”_ Carlos asked. “ _What’s the ‘right way’?_ ”

“ _Anything that doesn’t involve Ben_ ,” Lonnie snapped. “ _Because if you tell Ben, then he will have to help. He won’t be able to ignore this, even if ‘helping’ could come at the expense of his crown_.”

There was a tense pause.

Doug broke the silence. “ _You don’t mean…_ ”

“ _Chad’s grandfather has a lot of power, but he rarely visits Chad. He won’t see him again until coronation, if then_.” 

“ _So that makes this okay?_ ” Carlos asked. “ _This is Auradon, I thought things were supposed to be good here_.”

“ _Carlos_ ,” Lonnie sighed. “ _People are equally capable of good and evil no matter where they are. The difference here is that people are better at hiding it_.”

“ _This is bullshit_.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Lonnie agreed. “ _It is. But if any of us tried to do anything about it, it would only hurt Chad. So if you want to help-_ ” A pause, and likely she took some menacing steps forward. “ _This stays **here**_. _As far as anyone is concerned, Chad got sick and you helped him back to his room. His grandfather visited him, and now I’m going to stay and help him feel better while you guys do your little lake tradition. I need you to be normal for the others, okay? **That’s** what will help Chad_.”

“ _I don’t like this_ ,” Doug said, voice unnaturally quiet. “ _This is wrong_.”

“ _This is life_ ,” Lonnie offered sagely. “ _It’s the hand we were dealt with_.”

“ _And you’re not going to tell anyone about this?_ ” Carlos pressed.

“ _They’d bury it_.” They would, so deep no one would ever find it. “ _And then they’d ruin anyone linked to the investigation. Chad’s grandfather was **king**. And Chad’s not the most popular prince. Some might think he had it coming_.”

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Carlos repeated with a vehement hiss.

It was kind of him to fight for Chad, as little as it was warranted.

“ _Yes_ ,” Lonnie agreed again. “ _It is. Now you need to get going before the others start to worry_.” A pause. “ _You know how Ben gets_.”

“… _Yeah_ ,” Doug said eventually. “ _Okay. I- okay._ ”

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Carlos repeated one last time, but then there was the sound of the door slamming shut, so he must have left. 

It wasn’t long before Lonnie bustled back into the room with the ice in tow, and Chad spent the next five or so minutes crying into his shoulder while she filled the tub up with ice.

“I know,” she soothed, offering his head errant pets while she unloaded the ice with one hand. “I know it hurts, but this will help in the long run.”

“Shit, shit, _shit-_ ” he hissed in a familiar chant, tears burning at his eyes, feeling his core temperature drop and the bitter sting of his aching muscles scream with pain. “ _Fuck_.”

“Guys?” It was Aziz who popped in next, still sweaty, as though he hadn’t bothered to clean up before running here. “ _Shit_.”

“We have to take him to the doctor,” Lonnie muttered. She pulled on a pair of gloves so she could more easily handle the ice.

“ _No_ ,” Chad gasped, tears streaming down his face. “No doctors, Lonnie-”

“ _Hush_ ,” she ordered, tone leaving no room for argument. “He could have left permanent damage, this time. You _need_ to see someone, though obviously we can’t just go to the hospital.”

“Then where should we go?” Aziz asked, sliding into place behind Chad. He combed his fingers through Chad’s curls carefully, offering Chad was little comfort he could to distract from the pain. “Any place that sees this is going to want to contact the authorities.”

“I know a guy,” Lonnie said, indicating she had planned for this inevitability. “An Imperial City doctor working on some kind of research program here in Auradon. He’d be willing to see Chad under the table.”

For _her_ , she did not say, but there was a distinct list of benefits that came from being the daughter of Fa Mulan and Li Shang, and eternal loyalty of any Imperial City citizen was one of them.

“Can we go tonight?” Aziz asked. “After the swelling’s gone down?”

“We’ll have to,” Lonnie said, and then further conversation was interrupted by Jane’s silent appearance.

“I cleared the cameras,” she murmured, and though she likely couldn’t see the damage through the layers of ice, her expression still fell to one of sorrow. “I have to go change to try and corral the others to the lake, but is there anything you need before I go?”

“Rental car,” Lonnie said. “Untraceable. We’ll need to sneak out tonight.”

“Was it that bad?” It wasn’t a question asked for caution, but concern, Jane’s brows furrowed furiously. “Lonnie-”

“He caught Chad and Carlos in bed together,” Lonnie interrupted, nonjudgmental, but firm.

Aziz cursed. “ _Shit_ , that’s-”

“They were just sleeping,” Lonnie continued. “But we’ll need to keep an eye out for anyone who targets him.”

“And in the meantime, the Duke bruised Chad up so badly he won’t even be able to _think_ about sex,” Aziz muttered.

“P-probably the p-point,” Chad gasped, shivering helplessly in the waters. It hurt. It hurt so damn much.

“I _hate_ him,” Jane muttered, soft but vehement, an old slogan. “I hate him so much-”

“Control the controllables,” Lonnie reminded them. “We’ve got this, Jane. You should get going.”

“Okay.” A sad nod, and Jane was gone, leaving Chad to his frozen pain.

-:-:-:-:-:-

It was dark by the time they snuck down to the nondescript rental Jane had arranged for them, the young fairy periodically sending them updates on how the others were doing. Ben had raised a minor fuss about wanting to check on Chad, but between Jane, Carlos, and Doug, they had managed to shut it down. 

For the trip, Chad had the minor benefit of exhaustion on his side, because while pretty much everything hurt, it was a pain he had become accustomed to, making their trip through Auradon City all the more manageable.

The building Lonnie brought them to was nondescript and secluded. She strategically parked them away from any security cameras and guided them into the back of the building, meaning she’d staked the place out before. 

A night nurse was waiting for them by the door. She locked up behind them before taking them to an examination room, where Lonnie’s doctor was waiting for them.

There were – scans. A physical inspection. The doctor commended Lonnie for the ice bath and recommended minimal activity for Chad, declaring there had been no permanent damage – this time – before sending them away with a few ointments, some prescription pain killers and an injection for immediate pain management. 

By the time they’d gotten back to the school, Chad was a little out of it. But in like, the best possible way. Which was why he was happy to see Carlos melt out of the shadows when they meandered through the parking lot. Well, _he_ meandered, Aziz tried desperately to herd him.

“ _Carlos!_ ” he whispered, grinning with delight at the other teen’s cool ninja skills. “… _you’re here!_ ”

“Yep,” Carlos frowned in confusion but easily slid against Chad’s other side, helping bear his weight. “…did you drug him _again_?”

“ _Good drugs_ ,” Chad giggled. “ _Consensual drugs_.” 

He heard Aziz sigh. “It’s just painkillers.”

“Don’t sound so-” Chad frowned, unable to remember the words ‘put upon’ for the life of him. “Whatever. Hi, Carlos.”

“Hi, Chad.” Carlos shot him a weird look.

“Why are you here?” This was an important question; Chad was confused why Aziz hadn’t asked it yet.

“Because _someone_ decided to get himself drugged,” Carlos grumbled. “ _Twice_.”

“Consensual druggings,” Chad reminded him, then blinked. “Wait, did someone else get drugged?” A horrible thought occurred to him. “Did _Carlos_ get drugged?”

“Carlos is fine,” Aziz assured him, but Aziz had been with Chad the entire night so what the fuck did he know?

“I am literally right here,” Carlos muttered, and- oh, yeah, he was. “Why would I be drugged?”

“Because the _Duke_ is a tool,” Chad muttered, letting his head slump with relief. Keeping it upright was hard. He wanted a nap. And some cuddles.

“That’s what he calls his grandfather,” Aziz offered, and belatedly Chad wondered where Lonnie was. Oh, probably dealing with the car. What a peach. “Don’t take anything he says too seriously,” Aziz continued, just _wounding_ Chad’s honor while he was _right there_. “He’ll be out of it for a while.”

“You should always take me seriously,” Chad sniffed. “I’m a serious guy. Super serious. Hey-” He squeezed at Carlos’ shoulder. “Tell him I’m serious.”

“I’m…” Carlos did not seem to know what to do, when Chad had already _told_ him what to do. “No?”

“ _Carlos_ ,” Chad whined, slumping into his space. Oh, this was a good idea. Carlos was all cute. And not a traitor like _Aziz_. “Come _on_. I’d do it for you. Or Jay. Wait, no I wouldn’t. Jay’s only serious when he’s _brooding_.”

Carlos gave him a strange look. “I don’t think Jay broods.”

“That’s what he _wants_ us to think,” Chad drawled, swaying as they dragged him up the stairs. “He wants everyone to think he doesn’t care so he smirks and steals things and flirts with everyone-”

“Ignore him,” Aziz pressed. “Chad, _shut up_.”

“ _But_ ,” Chad continued, because he had things to _say_. “Deep down he cares a lot and that-”

“Hey look,” Aziz cheered. “It’s your room. You can go to sleep soon.”

“Can I?” Chad blinked. “I think I’m- I’m really tired.”

“That’s because you are,” Aziz hummed.

Chad’s room was a lovely sight for sore eyes and also Doug was there in his adorable PJs hovering by his desk like he’d been _waiting_ for them. How cute.

“ _Doug_ ,” Chad grinned, because he was happy even though Doug seemed sad. “ _Heyyyyy_ , good lookin’.”

“Ignore him,” Aziz said _again_ , being the worst bro of all time because he knew how much Chad liked Doug. “He’s on painkillers.”

“But _not_ abusing them,” Chad giggled. “Which is more than can be said for _some_ royalty, eh Aziz?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aziz muttered – liar, because Aziz was the one who told Chad in the first place. “Ready for bed?”

“Fuck yes, please,” Chad huffed, staring at his bed as if it could provide the salvation to all he held dear. Somehow. “Hey Doug, want to join me?” he asked, trying wag his brows in a suggestive look of sexiness. “My boat is currently broken and sad but-”

“No one’s sailing tonight, blondie,” Aziz drawled, herding Chad onto the bed with a weary sigh. Like _he’d_ done anything tonight.

“ _Obviously_ ,” Chad scoffed. “But like, I promise, I could make you feel _great-_ ”

“Please stop trying to proposition Doug,” Aziz hissed, trying to stifle Chad’s words with blankets and pillows.

“Propo-” Carlos sputtered. “Was _that_ what he was doing?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Chad groaned, batting away pillows. “Have you seen Doug? I hate him. It’s unfair.”

“Ignore him,” Aziz repeated. “He doesn’t actually hate you.”

“But I _want_ to,” Chad huffed. “It’d make my life easier.”

“Chad.” Aziz was petting his hand through his hair and Chad took back every mean thing he ever said about him, this was great. “Just go to sleep, you idiot.”

“Okay,” Chad said, then let his eyes fall closed, drifting into a painless sort of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING – To be specific, the non-graphic abuse takes place after Carlos and Chad’s nap. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who commented, kudo-ed, bookmarked, and favorited the last chapter! You sure know how to make a lady feel loved ^_^
> 
> Story notes:
> 
> For the record, I don’t actually hate Audrey. For the purposes of this story I needed someone to play the antagonist, and she drew the short straw. I also don’t have anything against the former king of Sardinia, who like, ranges from canonically harmless to kind, but again, I needed another antagonist. 
> 
> Based on the very brief research I did, the few monarchs that retire from being King sort of resign themselves to whatever their previous status was, so in this instance Chad’s grandfather is a Duke.
> 
> Literally one of the best pieces of advice was ‘control the controllables’. It’s easy to get worked up about things that are beyond our control, but in this instance, they had to focus on what they actually could do, and let the anxiety relating to anything else drift away.
> 
> Until next time :)


	5. Aggressive Recovery Techniques

Chad was shaken awake far too soon, his eyelids feeling like heavy, immovable objects that he had to struggle to open, eyes objecting to being exposed to the soft light of early morning. 

He blinked when he realized it was Jane who had woken him up; blinked again when he recognized the two small pills she had in her hand.

“You’re going to need to take these,” she whispered, handing them over. A second later, she handed him a glass of water. “Before the injection wears off.”

“Thanks,” he whispered, voice thick and heavy with sleep. He could have swallowed the pills dry, but it was kind of Jane to get him the water, so he used it to follow them down.

He passed the cup back to Jane when he felt slightly more awake, blinking at his surroundings. He was back in his room, which was weird - usually they handled these things in Jane and Lonnie’s room, since they had better security. Doug was a familiar form burrowed into his covers, but Carlos was definitely a new addition, the small teen curled in a ball at the foot of Doug’s bed, watching the exchange with sleep-heavy eyes. 

“Lonnie prepared another bath,” Jane whispered, and Chad knew it was necessary but he couldn’t help wince. That was not the way he had wanted to begin his Saturday, but such was the way of things. “Can you walk?”

“I’m fine,” Chad muttered, conscious of Carlos’ presence. He slid out of bed carefully, taking Aziz’s arm for support. Jane took his other side without saying, and the three of them made their way down the hall and up the stairs, Chad aching with marginally less pain this time.

Still, it was a relief to get back to Jane and Lonnie’s room.

Aziz sighed as they navigated their way back into the bathroom. “Yesterday could have gone better.”

“But it also could have gone worse,” Chad said, trying to be practical. “Come on, let’s get to ice bathing.”

“You’re lucky I like you,” Aziz grumbled, but at this point, their connection was a necessity of survival. Aziz was, after all, the son of a ‘street rat’. Lonnie wasn’t even a real _princess_. Jane didn’t have a father, and was considered an abomination by a lot of the old schoolers.

Things like that bonded you together. And they weren’t lucky for that, but they were lucky to have each other.

Small blessings.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Despite the pain killers and spending most of the weekend lying around in Jane and Lonnie’s room, the first day back to classes was slow and steady torture. Chad’s muscles _ached_ , making sitting and standing a tedious affair, and not for the reasons most people would assume if they by chance caught his half-hobbled status. Lonnie had forwarded a note from the doctor that excused Chad from Tourney practice all that week, but by the time he’d gotten back to the front of the dormitories, the effects of his morning pain pill had mostly worn off, and the idea of climbing the few steps to freedom seemed like a horribly unfair trial. 

Somehow, he managed.

He was panting by the time he got back to his room, ready to abandon all pretense of being polished and poised. He stumbled towards the secret compartment in his dresser and pulled out the pill bottle, popping another pain pill to get him through the evening with some amount of grace. He hurt. Everything hurt. _Fuck_. 

“Um…” Belatedly, Chad registered Doug’s presence beside him, the other teen hovering with a quiet sort of nervousness. “I um- prepared an ice bath for you.”

“What?” Chad blinked. He had already abandoned the idea because Jane and the others would be too busy and walking was just- not going to happen for him, and as much as he hated the dumb things the prospect of getting one to mitigate _some_ of the pain made things seem more manageable.

“I thought you might need one?” Doug asked. “I can empty it-”

“ _No_.” Chad said, readjusting his enthusiasm to something that would startle Doug slightly less. “No, you’re fine. You’re good. Thank you, Doug. I’m just gonna-” He limped into the bathroom before he could change his mind, closing the door behind him so he wouldn’t do something stupid like ask Doug to join him.

Struggling out of his school clothes was a- travesty, but eventually Chad _got_ there, managed to half-slide, half-flop into the tub until he was swallowing down a broken cry, his head falling back with a pained groan.

“ _Chad?_ ” Of course Doug would be listening; of course he’d talk through the door. “ _Are you okay?_ ”

“P-peachy,” Chad muttered, exhaling sharply so he could surrender to the numbness, setting a mental timer so he could achieve maximum benefits without damaging himself further.

Getting _out_ of the ice bath was substantially harder than getting _into_ it, but Chad managed that too, managed to dry himself off, slather on some of that super-secret ointment, and wrap himself in a robe before stumbling out of the bathroom to collapse on his bed. There. That was it. He was not going to move another step.

“Thanks, Doug,” he mumbled into his pillow. “Sorry about my clothes-”

“It’s fine,” Doug assured him. “I’ll put them in the hamper.”

“You are too good to me,” Chad muttered, and then tried to will himself unconscious. 

He was maybe half successful around the time he heard the window creak open, and it probably should have been less of a surprise to see Carlos’ concerned face pop into view. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Sure,” Chad managed, letting his eyes fall shut. “I mean, as I _can_ be.”

“He already took his pain meds,” Doug said, seeming unsurprised by Carlos’ sudden appearance.

“Is there anything else you have to do?” Carlos asked, still just- crouching next to Chad’s bed.

Chad really wished they’d let him sleep. “Besides sleep? Nope.”

“Hold on,” Carlos said, and then he was nudging Chad into a more comfortable position, staring at his bare legs before dragging Jane’s quilt over him as another measure of protection.

“Thanks,” Chad sighed, because as little as he’d liked it, the repositioning _helped_. Between the ointment and the ice bath and the pill, the roaring ache had dulled down to bear tingles that Chad could live with.

“You’re welcome,” Carlos said and then just- flopped down beside Chad. “Want to see a video of Jay tripping over a bench from Tourney practice?”

Chad blinked. “When would I _not_ want to see that?”

“As I suspected,” Carlos drawled, holding up his phone so they could watch the hilarity of Jay’s determination to win get him taken out by a bench he’d failed to spot.

They then spent the next thirty or so minutes watching videos on Carlos’ phone, things that ranged from Evie working on a new dress to Mal decimating a bowl of strawberries in like, five minutes, glaring at the off-screen commentary but notably not pausing in her quest. There were videos of Carlos and Jay making fun of Ben and Chad from a distance, each of them supplying high pitched ‘royal voices’ to improvise their conversation. Carlos’s Chad impression was brilliant, and had him laughing so hard he cried, especially when Carlos’s Chad managed to verbally decimate Jay’s commendable but weak Ben impression.

“I’m so glad I got you phones,” Chad huffed between videos, wiping tears from his eyes. At some point, Doug had joined them on the bed, bracketing Chad’s other side despite the fact that Chad was very close to _naked_ and he was _right there_.

“Check this out,” Doug said, and then he offered up a video of Evie destroying Audrey in a game of speed chess, and the slow look of frustrated _rage_ on Audrey’s face was a majestic sight to behold.

“ _Hey, everybody_ ,” Mal chirped from Carlos’ phone, sporting a hooded jacket Chad had thought he’d misplaced weeks ago, almost getting swallowed in its confines. “ _I’m Chad Charming! I have good hair and I’m really nice and Jay thinks I’m the **prettiest boy in the world** -_”

“ _Shut up, Mal,_ ” Jay hissed from off-screen, prompting a series of giggles from off-screen Evie.

“ _I annoy Audrey just by existing!_ ” Mal continued, spinning in the large jacket. “ _But that’s understandable because Audrey’s a ‘bitch ass hoe’ and obviously has bad taste_.”

“ _Except in boyfriends!_ ” off-screen Evie cheered.

“Did she just-” Chad croaked, rubbing at his eyes. “ _Bitch ass hoe_.” Yes, he was so glad he taught her that.

“ _Well, obviously_.” Mal slipped back into her regular voice with a roll of her eyes. “ _But if anything that like, just proves Ben has poor taste in girlfriends_.”

“ _I mean, it seems like his taste has improved_ ,” Evie mused. “ _Right, **Jay?**_ ”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Jay repeated, trailing off with a few choice mutters that Chad didn’t discern because did that- that mean?

Had Ben finally decided on getting a new girlfriend?

It was inevitable, of course. And not a surprise. Just- Chad thought he’d have figured that out. He hung out with the guy _all the time_. Until his stupid ‘illness’, he had a practice date planned for _that_ week.

Maybe Ben was taking his time? Really working out the kinks of his admittedly weak dating game? He _did_ have a reputation to maintain.

“ _Do you think Chad will be upset you took his coat?_ ” This was the first time cameraman Carlos had spoken up, but Mal was quick to dismiss him.

“ _Please. Chad would give us the coat off his back if he **thought** we looked cold. Oh hey, Evie-_” She skipped over towards where the princess was cutting out fabric. “ _You should make Chad a new coat. Something that says ‘I am a cutie patootie and yes these **are** dimples and no you can’t touch them’_.”

“ _That’s a lot of words for a jacket,_ ” Carlos deadpanned.

Mal waved him off. “ _If anyone can do it, Evie can._ ”

“ _I’ll get to work on it now_ ,” Evie said, and then the video ended.

“She’s almost done with it,” real Carlos said. “But you have to act surprised when they give it to you.”

Chad blinked. He hadn’t actually expected anything to come from that. “What?”

“The coat?” Carlos nodded to the screen. “She made you one. Well, has almost made you one. It’s a work-in-progress.”

“Oh.” Chad wasn’t sure what to say, though the most prominent was that Evie didn’t need to do that. Didn’t have to waste fabric or time on him.

There was a firm knock on their shared door before Chad could stumble through something though, so Doug went to answer it, seeming, for whatever reason, slightly reluctant. 

“Hey, Doug.” It was Ben. Of course it was Ben, who else would it be? Jane and the others all had keys and the VKs only used the windows. 

The prince’s gaze widened when he stepped into the room, taking in Carlos flopped next to Chad. His eyes seemed to fixate on the sliver of chest evident from the loose ties of Chad’s robes, likely noting the impropriety of the situation, but Ben was nice enough to move on, carrying the tray he had brought with him over towards the bed.

“I got you some soup and crackers,” he explained, setting the tray in Chad’s lap while Carlos helped the blond prince get into a sitting position. “Figured you wouldn’t want to leave you room again.”

“Oh, _wow_ ,” Chad whispered, staring down at the savory feast, because he’d resigned himself to not eating until breakfast. “I- thanks, Ben.”

“No problem.” And for Ben, it really wasn’t. “Are you sure you should be back in class already? You still seem a little under the weather.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Chad shook his head. If missing half the Tourney game had gotten him black and blue, missing _class_ because of the ramifications of his punishment would be nothing less than unacceptable. “Doug and Carlos have been helping me out.”

“Have they?” Ben asked, for whatever reason, because it wasn’t like he didn’t _know_ the helpfulness of Doug. Like, Carlos might have been a surprise if he was an asshole, but Ben _wasn’t_ an asshole, so- whatever.

“I must say, Carlos does a _great_ me-impersonation,” Chad continued, scooping up a spoonful of soup and blowing on it. “Jay’s impression of you could use some work, but I feel like he has the basics down.”

“All he did was say _‘I don’t know, I’m dumb’_ like, five times in a row,” Doug said, brows furrowing in confusion.

“ _Exactly_ ,” Chad chirped. “The basics.”

“That’s not the- _excuse you_ ,” Ben sputtered. “Now I want my soup back.”

“What? No. My precious.” Chad shoved a spoonful of it in his mouth and immediately regretted it because _hot_. “Fuck. Shit- _ow_.” He coughed, holding his mouth open to try and breathe some air on it.

“ _Cripes_ ,” Carlos muttered, dragging a hand across his face. “Ben’s not actually going to steal your soup.”

“Not if I _eat it first_ ,” Chad pledged, and then they spent the next twenty minutes trying to coax him into eating at a manageable pace between laughs.

All-in-all, it was a nice way to spend an evening.

And it was a repeated pleasure, it seemed, like they’d agreed upon it without consulting Chad. Doug and Carlos would always be there first, Carlos ducking out of Tourney practice early in order to help Chad settle in before sending off a message that released the figurative floodgates. After that, either Evie, Mal, or Jay would show up with Ben and food, and they’d work on their homework and eat or watch videos until Chad was filled with a warmth he could barely contain, drunk off a level of happiness he felt mostly terrified by. And yet, he yearned for more, was desperate for it, and never turned their attention away.

The evenings where Jay visited were almost guaranteed to be a little more rowdy than usual, so it didn’t come as a surprise when Chad inevitably ended up with soup all over the front of his robe. 

That evening’s delight had come courtesy of Evie and Doug because their usual soup supplier, Ben, was stuck in a council meeting. Jay had been sure to reward this commitment to his civic duties by sending Ben as many pictures of them having fun without him as possible. Somehow or other, all of the VKs had ended up in the room that night, which made Jay and Carlos’ spontaneous wrestling match more inevitable than anything else. Chad just wished his soup hadn’t ended up as collateral damage.

“ _Jay_ ,” Evie snapped when she realized what’d happened, rushing to help Chad blot up the mess to the best of her ability. “Both of you, _off_. You could have ruined Jane’s blanket.”

Once Evie realized the quilt was a product of Jane’s handiwork, she was especially protective of it, likely giving respect from one creator to another. Chad may or may not have arranged for an order of quilting supplies to be delivered to her room, along with some basic pattern books after she’d expressed an interest, the two of them spending an evening watching quilting tutorials on her phone that were progressively more and more complicated.

“Sorry.” Carlos was quick to disengage, scrambling off the bed and helping Evie pull the blanket out of the potential spill radius.

“Hey, don’t sweat it, guys.” Chad said, dabbing at his chest. “I think my robe took most of the hit. It’s okay.”

“ _Still_ ,” Evie huffed, and across the room Chad realized Mal and Doug had paused from doing their homework to watch the exchange with looks of concern and amusement. “You should be resting, not worried about getting soup all over yourself. Here-” She reached for his robe. “-I’ll just get this cleaned up.”

“ _Um_.” Chad shot a frantic look to Carlos, who was just sort of blinking in surprise and _not_ helping. “It’s okay, Evie. Little soup won’t hurt anyone.”

Evie shot him an unimpressed look. “I’m not going to let you sit around in a dirty robe because Jay and Carlos couldn’t keep it _off the bed_.”

“Seriously, I don’t mind.” Chad may or may not be panicking.

Mal got an unfortunately perceptive look on her face. “Why are you freaking out?” She paused. “Carlos, why are _you_ freaking out?”

“ _Um_.” Carlos’ cheeks flushed dark.

“Look.” Chad shoved a hand against his face. He may as well come clean at this point. “Usually after class I just- take a bath and then I don’t have much energy for anything besides getting to bed, so-”

Mal blinked, struck by a sudden realization. “Are you _naked_ under that?”

“I didn’t expect this to become group _hangout_ time,” Chad hissed, because they’d literally never done that before. Realistically, the robe was a practical move that allowed the ointment to settle in, and Chad was already uncomfortable enough with _that_ soft fabric, he didn’t want to try out pajama pants.

“ _What?_ ” Jay, of all people, seemed particularly affected. “Do you mean-?” He looked between Chad and Mal, fixating on the dip of Chad’s collar, before stalking over towards the window. “I’ve got to go.”

“ _Idiot_ ,” Mal muttered as Jay disappeared out onto the lawns, but that didn’t matter because Doug and Carlos were still embarrassed and Evie had a pale blush on her cheeks and Mal was cackling.

“Can we just agree not to tell Ben about this?” Chad asked, rubbing a hand across his face. “Because he’ll be a baby about it.”

“I think we can all agree that Ben doesn’t need to know about _this_ ,” Mal declared, all foreboding for some reason, and _that_ seemed to be enough to snap Doug out of his weird funk.

“Here.” The dwarf-kin scrambled off his bed and dug through his own closet, returning with his bathrobe. Like he was going to give Chad _his_ \- “We’ll trade them out.”

“ _Guys_ ,” Chad groaned, because they were trying to kill him. “It’s fine. The soup is nothing.”

“Says you,” Evie challenged, and that was how Chad knew he was resigned to a fate of holding Jane’s quilt tight against his waist while he traded out robes, very much _naked_ in a room of attractive people with only a padded quilt between him and their gazes, and yet somehow things still got worse when he slipped into Doug’s robe, because it was _Doug’s_ robe.

“You okay?” Carlos asked when Doug and Evie disappeared into the bathroom. “You look a little flushed.”

“You look a little _shut up_ ,” Chad hissed, burying himself under the covers while Mal laughed.

Of course, Carlos was a little shit and burrowed his way beside Chad, which was how he came to spend the night even after everyone had left, cuddling into Chad’s side and being the best while also being the worst and Chad’s abused groin did not deserve this.

And yet, here it was.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Friday was – not a good day. Or, to be specific, it was not the _best_ day. Coach hadn’t wanted to put Chad on the field after being out the week previous, but Coach was also susceptible to good old-fashioned bribery with an application of puppy dog eyes, so Chad was able to trudge out onto the field to compete in a sport he didn’t really care about for the sake of maintaining his image. 

He was sweaty and shaky and probably looked nothing close to charming by the time they were done, but they were done and Chad hadn’t died so he considered it a win. Waiting for the others to finish showering before even contemplating the effort was an exercise in frustration because Ben seemed determined not to leave without him, as did Carlos, but Chad reminded Ben of his _royal_ obligations with herding the others for the lake meetup and then just- begged Carlos to leave, and eventually he got through _that_ too. 

Aziz was nice enough to guard the door to the showers despite the fact that his parents had actually come to this game, so it was only with minor hurdles that Chad got clean, into his dumb swim ensemble and then hired a car to take him to the lake, because he sure as shit wasn’t going to make it there on a _Moped_.

Chad didn’t swim so much as float and suntan, trying to ignore the worried looks Carlos and Doug would occasionally shoot his legs, like they were worried they were going to fall off, or something.

It was a bit of a relief to finally pile into Ben’s car and trudge into the dormitory kitchens for celebratory sundaes, even if Chad couldn’t actually have any of them.

It was all going well until it wasn’t.

“Okay, what’s up with you?” Mal broke in with this non-sequitur halfway through sundae creation, leveraging an unimpressed finger at Chad. “You didn’t eat anything at lunch, you didn’t eat at the lake, and you’re not eating _now_ , so what’s the deal?”

“Granted, he never gets his own sundae,” Doug spoke up while Chad was processing the fact that Mal had been watching _him_ , bringing the few that hadn’t caught onto Chad’s shenanigans up-to-date with a few blinks. “But you usually eat off of Jane’s. Now you’re not even doing that.”

“ _Excuse you_ ,” Chad huffed. “It is not easy maintaining this physique. Sometimes sacrifices must be made.”

This current sacrifice had to do with the repercussions from last Friday, along with his grandfather _finally_ catching onto Chad’s extra dates and therefore, extra food sources and to _‘counteract his childish splurging’_ – as of _that day_ Chad had been put on the fun ‘eat nothing until you feel like you’re about to pass out and then eat a cube of cheese’ diet. It would last a few days until he’d be weaned back onto a strict version of his already strict diet until things were back to bland normality, but until then, he got to pretend the cramps in his stomach were from working out so hard.

Ben aimed a tragically disappointed look at him. “There are healthier ways to do that, Chad, especially since you’re getting over an illness. You can’t just starve yourself.”

Chad was about to shoot back a perfectly airheaded and witty remark when Jane muttered, “No, but his grandfather can.”

Which just- “ _Jane_ ,” he hissed. The _traitor_.

Jane was not apologetic, even in the wake of everyone else’s obvious concern or outrage. “No, it’s stupid.”

“Wait,” Ben cut back in. “Is your grandfather making you do this?”

“He has some kind of arrangement with the kitchen staff here,” Jane answered for Chad. “He’s worried about Chad’s _health_.”

“He has a right to worry, he’s my grandfather,” Chad shot back, but Doug was getting that look on his face that Chad always hated, because it meant he was going to lose an argument no matter how hard he tried.

“He doesn’t have a right to do this,” Doug pressed. “It doesn’t matter who he is, it shouldn’t be happening in the first place.”

“Guys,” Chad huffed. “You are making a big deal out of nothing. Things will go back to normal in a couple of days-”

“This happens for _days?_ ” Ben didn’t seem like he could process this, but at least Chad _knew_ what he was feeling. The VKs seemed unreadable, having fallen into contemplative silence, though Jay looked distinctly unhappy. “Chad-”

“It’s fine, you _schmucks_ ,” Chad sighed, then decided to make an exit. His head was feeling a little fuzzy as it was. “Sometimes you have to sacrifice things for your image. That’s life.”

“Food should not be one of those things.” Doug was not backing down on this front, though Chad really just- wished he would. A lot. 

“Well, it is for _me_.” Not that Chad liked it, but this was just- life. He was used to it. “ _I’m_ not complaining about it, there’s no reason you should be.”

“I haven’t been conditioned into accepting this as normal,” Doug shot back which just- low blow. 

“News flash,” Chad said with a flourish of his hand. “ _I’m_ not normal. And now-” He pointed towards the door. “I am leaving.”

“Chad-” Ben reached out, likely to do something horrible like squeeze Chad’s shoulder and he just- couldn’t, right now. Not between the hunger and the yearning and muted pain that didn’t stop.

“Peace out, homedogs,” Chad shot over his shoulder, half-hoping the lingo would confuse them and mostly hoping he could make it back to his room without collapsing. He would see, one way or another.

-:-:-:-:-:-

He didn’t make it back to his room, mostly because he realized if he retreated there one of those stubborn individuals would _find_ him and try to either reason with him or force feed him or talk about how awful his grandfather was, and since none of those were particularly _helpful_ , Chad redirected and hid out in Jane’s closet for the weekend, because it couldn’t be said he wasn’t _classy_. 

Of course, he arranged for a car to show up to the school and leave for Sardinia, so in the off-hand chance Ben or Carlos tried to trace his movements they would think that he’d gone home for the weekend (as though he’d ever willingly spend time _there_ ) and texted Doug an update saying as much before shutting off his phone completely. It was the only way he could keep himself from responding to Doug’s texts, _if_ he sent any, and so that was how Chad came to spend a weekend huddled in a nest of old blankets typing out plans on the tablet he stored in Jane and Lonnie’s room, trying to feel productive but mostly feeling hungry and sad.

On Monday he spent his lunch in the library because it would be where he was _least_ expected, and then it was off to Tourney practice before he could go back to his room and collapse in a puddle of despair. He’d be back to small portions tomorrow, and that would be a glorious day. A glorious, cheese-cube free day.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Chad refused to feel pathetic as he tried to stretch out consuming his cheese cube as long as he could. He was tucked behind the far side of the fieldhouse, and while he knew he should probably wait until after practice to eat his allotted snack, he also knew if he didn’t get any energy soon he wasn’t going to last _through_ the practice. At least this way he’d burn off the calories. 

He wasn’t expecting company, but that didn’t stop him from being surprised when Jay slinked around the corner, sticking to the shadows until he could settle down next to Chad.

“Here.” Jay shoved an energy bar in Chad’s lap, refusing to look at him. “I’ll take the wrapper when you’re done.”

“Can’t.” Chad shook his head. His grandfather would know, somehow. He didn’t know _how_ , and that was something that frustrated Chad to no end, but he _would_ find out. “Thanks, though.”

“Don’t thank me,” Jay muttered, finally turning to look at him. “You’re either going to eat this or I’m going to _make_ you eat it. You get to choose which.”

“Assault is bad,” Chad reminded him, then found himself blinking at his empty hand because Jay had snatched the cheese cube out of it and hurled it into the woods. “ _Hey_!”

And then he was pinned against the wall, Jay looming over him as he tore the energy bar open with his teeth. The bar was prodded against Chad’s lips a moment after. “Eat.”

“I’m not- _ugh_.” It was like a less successful version of their practice feeding because Jay wasn’t gentle about this. He was insistent and crafty and refused to let Chad out of it, making him eat every last bite until he was licking crumbs off the other teen’s thumb. 

_Fuck_ , he had forgotten what it was like to eat things that weren’t cheese cubes. He missed them.

“I’ll bring something to your room tonight,” Jay continued like this was a casual exchange, still pinning Chad to the wall and looming dangerously close. “And you’ll eat that too.”

“Without context, those words are kind of suspect,” Chad muttered, and then he was greeted by a brilliant flush that made Jay scowl.

“Shut up,” he hissed, backing away. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Not looking forward to it!” Chad lied, because Chad’s body enjoyed being pinned and told what to do and also _eating_.

It was just- so unfair. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

Jay _did_ sneak in through the window when Doug had been pulled away to Carlos’ room and Jay _did_ pin Chad to the wall and force him to eat because, to quote, “ _It would give him plausible deniability_ ” because Chad’s grandfather couldn’t be angry at Chad for someone _forcing_ him to eat, could he? 

The answer was that he could and very much would because his grandfather wasn’t super reasonable, but his body didn’t care because Jay was tall and shoved him into place easily and Chad really did enjoy eating food from such clever fingers, even if they seemed half determined to choke him. 

“We should do this on the bed next time,” Jay murmured as he allowed Chad to suck the last of the meat juice off his fingers.

And Chad didn’t groan, though he _really_ wanted to.

“There will be no next time,” he huffed, even though it was lie and he knew it.

There was definitely a next time.

Jay pinned him to the bed like it was nothing and force-fed him grapes and it was wonderful and terrible and Chad was just really glad Ben or Doug couldn’t dream up such aggressive tactics on their own or else he’d be done for.

Little blessings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented, kudo-ed, bookmarked, and favorited! It's been a hectic week, so every time I get a notification it has been a delightful treat that I am quite grateful for ^_^ 
> 
> Story Notes:
> 
> Because you know, you *know* if Carlos and Jay were given phones, they would use them for their own nefarious purposes ;D
> 
> The cube of cheese diet is definitely from ‘The Devil Wears Prada’.
> 
> Until next time :)


	6. No Shame if You've Got Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - For super duper mild assault, non-explicit sexual situations, and slut shaming. Cuz, you know, *Audrey*. Look to the endnotes for specifics :)

“But seriously?” Carlos asked, wading around the shallow area of the lake by the pavilion in his new long sleeve swim shirt while Chad soaked up the sun. “Why _are_ you single? People seem to like you.”

Chad opened his mouth to reply (he’d learned that Carlos wasn’t intentionally insulting with these things, he just had a very blunt way of speaking, likely to do with how little he’d been socialized) but was interrupted by Audrey. “Because everyone knows he’s a slut.”

All good things had to come to an end eventually, and this particular end had Audrey abandoning cheerleader traditions to slum it with them at the Enchanted Lake after their Tourney win that Friday. Jane had tried to run interference for about five minutes before the princess’ tongue had become too sharp for her, and Chad had waved her into the lake so he could take up the task of being Audrey’s punching bag himself. He wasn’t sure how all of this was supposed to win Ben over, but to each their own.

Carlos was frowning now. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“No, she’s right,” Chad said lightly, because the best way to end an argument was to not put up one in the first place. “What can I say? I’m a wild stallion.”

“Don’t try to make it poetic,” Audrey muttered, stretching out on her pink beach towel. “He’s so desperate for affection he’ll accept from anywhere.” She shot Carlos a meaningful look over the edge of her blue-tinted sunglasses, lips pulled in a smirk. “ _Anywhere_.”

Chad pretended to get mock offended, even though he’d had this conversation with Audrey half a dozen times already. “There’s nothing wrong with sampling the fields as long as everyone’s onboard with it.”

She leveraged an unimpressed look his direction. “There _is_ something wrong with it if you can’t land a single princess.” She gestured back to Carlos, as though to commiserate. “Not. A single. One.”

Chad was sort of glad that the others were out of ear range at this point, though he caught a few concerned glances from Doug and Jane, both of whom Chad waved off with a large smile. “We’re still in school, Audrey. It’s not like we have to worry about getting married anytime soon. I mean, I know _you_ do- oh wait.” He made a show of smacking the side of his head. “I guess you _don’t_ anymore.”

With this, he casually turned his gaze to where Ben was trying to coerce Mal into jumping off the large boulder on the other side of the lake, Jay and Evie paddling in the water below, trying to let her know everything would be fine.

“Guess somebody decided to opt for an upgrade,” he mused. 

Audrey ratcheted into the sitting position. “ _She_ is _not_ a-!” She cut herself off with a scowl. “I don’t know how you can be so calm about this.”

Because Chad was also attracted to Ben, though unlike Audrey’s desperate thirst for power, it was an unfortunate thing he wished didn’t exist. 

Chad fluttered his eyelashes. “With beauty and grace, I suppose.”

“You _fuck_ ,” she hissed, and from the corner of his eye Chad saw Carlos tense. “You’re actually enjoying this. I mean, of _course_ you would- you’re too stupid to understand the implications-”

“I can understand that when a guy doesn’t want to get back with his girlfriend,” Chad began with a drastic flick of his hand. “It’s generally because she’s a power-crazy _psycho_ he didn’t want to date in the first place.”

At this point, Chad was making a show of studying his nails to demonstrate how little he cared about her reaction, which was why he missed Audrey bodily _launch_ herself at him until they both ended up in the lake.

“You _fuck_ ,” Audrey hissed sweetly when he came back above the water, a strained smile on her face. “You dumb _fuck_. You don’t know anything.”

“Yeah-” Chad spat out a mouthful of water. “Think I might know more than _you-_ ”

Her nails were burrowing into his shoulders, and she made another lunge to dunk him underwater. “I bet _you_ were the one that wrote that note in the first place,” she snarled, likely referring to whatever Aziz had done to set her off. “Forging Ben’s handwriting-”

“That sounds far too smart for a _‘dumb fuck’_ like me-”

“-to see me suffer,” she snarled. “Lower me to your level. Like I would ever be _you-_ ” 

They scrambled again, Chad doing his best to ward her off without leaving any marks because Audrey had a light trigger finger when it came to issues of harassment and Chad was _Chad_ , which stacked the deck against him. Meanwhile, Audrey did his best to drown him, nails scraping against his throat, his back, and generally any area of skin she could reach. Normally Chad’s body was weird about that kind of shit, except in the instances where someone was actively trying to end his life, whereupon the flight or fight response kicked in.

“ _Guys!_ ”

Ben’s voice cut through the tussle like a lightning strike, freezing Chad and Audrey in place (thankfully, she had her hands on his shoulders this time, instead of his neck where she really wanted them). Lagging behind him was an out-of-breath Carlos (who must have swum for Ben in the first place) and the others, who looked on the spectacle with expressions varying from unreadable to concerned.

“…Hi, _Ben_ ,” Audrey said, voice tinged with a sickly sweetness that would have made Chad shiver were he not busy trying to breathe.

For once, Ben did not seem to be buying the innocent act. “What’s going on?”

“Um…” Chad subtly tried to cough up some water. “…leeches.”

He could _feel_ the incredulity emanating from the group in waves. 

But again, improvisation, Chad could do this. “There were leeches,” he decided. “Audrey was helping me get them off.”

“Yep,” Audrey stepped in, not missing a beat. “They were… everywhere.”

“Except now,” Chad said. “Because they’re gone. Because we got rid of them.”

“Dude,” Carlos huffed. “Audrey totally tackled you-”

“ _Because_ of the leeches,” Chad interrupted smoothly. “I didn’t see them. She did. What a pal.”

“Just, you know- being _helpful_ ,” Audrey shot back, fluttering her lashes. “Sorry if we made you worry, Benny-boo.”

“Are you sorry for trying to drown Chad?” Carlos asked. “Because you totally were trying to drown Chad.”

“We’ve been over this,” Chad gasped, wishing he could take a moment to just- make himself vomit up the water. “What’s a little drowning between friends, Carlos?”

“That was more than a _little-_ ”

“Thanks, Audrey,” Ben cut in, expression unreadable. “That was really… helpful, but um- maybe we’ve held you up long enough. I’d hate to keep you from your cheerleader traditions.”

“Oh.” Audrey blinked. “No, that’s okay-”

“I insist,” Ben said, and that was it, that was the death sentence, and Chad could feel Audrey’s nails digging into his back but he didn’t care because he sure as shit wasn’t going to defend her.

At this point, there was no choice for Audrey but to concede with grace. “Alright, Benny-boo,” she purred, arranging her hair in some form of elegance that didn’t reflect ‘drowned cat’. “I’ll catch up with you next time.”

“In her _dreams_ ,” Jay muttered, not as softly as he’d likely intended, if he’d intended to be subtle at all.

Audrey ignored them, deftly gathering up her things before gliding away, dripping water in her wake. 

“Bye, Audrey!” Chad shouted, waving at her back because he was a petty soul. “Pleasure talking to you!”

He used the goodbye as an excuse to get out of the lake, wandering off of the stone dais and onto the grass so he could cough up the rest of the water. He expected Jane to keep the others in the lake with a well-timed distraction, except apparently _not_ because by the time he’d finished spitting out water the others were all gathered in a circle behind him.

“Just um- got some water in my throat,” he muttered, plastering on a bright grin.

Carlos was not impressed. “Why did you let her talk to you like that?”

Jay frowned. “Like what? What did she say?”

“She kept calling him a slut, dude,” Carlos said, and then _everyone_ was frowning, including Jane, who was more than aware of the slut rumors.

“Um-” Chad pressed his hands together as though bidding for peace. “That’s because I _am_ a slut? It’s not a big deal, guys.” He turned his attention to Ben, who was getting frighteningly still. “We were just joking around.”

“It didn’t sound like a joke,” Carlos pressed.

Mal wandered closer, inspecting the angry red lines Audrey had dug into his skin. A few were bleeding. “And these don’t look like _joking_ scratch marks,” she muttered.

“You have obviously never tangoed with magic leeches,” Chad said, just to be a douche because before she’d come here, she hadn’t dabbled with magic _anything_. “She was doing me a favor.”

“ _This_ is a favor?” Jay asked. 

Behind them, Doug rummaged through his bag before returning to the group, first aid kit in hand. 

Chad sighed. “It’s fine _-_ ”

“Sit,” Doug ordered, motioning to a fallen column. Mal stood beside him expectantly, arms folded across her chest in a bid of silent warning. One way or another, Chad would be sitting.

He yielded gracefully. “Okay, _okay_. Geez.” He sat down and let Doug get to work, Evie picking at the first aid supplies so she could help too, until they were both carefully cleaning at Chad’s scratches.

“Who?” Ben hovered near their column, seeming lost in thought and overwhelmed all at once. “Who says you’re a slut?”

“Everyone?” Nearly everyone, and anyone who didn’t got the gossip passed to them by Aziz or Lonnie. It was a helpful way to control his image. “Ben, I’m telling you it’s fine _-_ ”

“It’s not _fine_ ,” Evie said, rubbing carefully at his back. “It’s not fine to be reduced to your looks and your- enjoyment of certain activities for the amusement of others. That’s _not_ fine.”

It surprised Chad, how eagerly Evie argued in his defense, and he didn’t know what to make of it. Didn’t know if she was speaking from experience or simply trying to win him over. He didn’t _know_. 

“Exactly!” Ben snapped before Chad could really think about it. “You’re more than just- that.”

Chad lifted a brow at the prince, because he’d worked very hard for a reputation that entailed just _that_.

“And why did you let her mess you up, anyway?” Mal pressed, still lingering nearby. Jay and Carlos were just over her shoulder, watching but not engaging, like they were studying from a distance. “You’re stronger than her.”

“Because she was _helping_ me.” And Chad didn’t want to get slammed with trumped up assault charges. He sent a pleading look to Jane, who seemed to get it.

“Forget that,” she declared quietly, getting more than a few skeptical looks. “Audrey’s gone now, there’s no reason to let her spoil the rest of the evening.”

“Here, here!” Chad chirped, relieved that they could finally let the subject go.

He knew he likely imagined how much Ben seemed to not want to do that, but the impression was there just the same. Curse his traitorous heart.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Doug was waiting patiently outside the bathroom when Chad finished up his shower, first aid kit cradled in his hands like a silent warning, letting Chad know that escape was impossible. 

With a sigh, Chad shrugged out of his sleep shirt, sitting on the edge of his bed so Doug could start rubbing whatever creams he had into Chad’s scratch marks. Doug’s movements were light but sure, careful smears against the long, narrow cuts, and it took a dedicated effort on Chad’s part not to respond to the thorough treatment. It kind of sucked with Doug being this close, just- _touching_ him. Touching Chad’s back. 

“Are you afraid of Audrey?” Doug asked out of the blue, fingers massaging careful patterns into Chad’s spine.

The question admittedly took Chad by surprise. “Pardon?”

“Audrey,” Doug repeated. “She did this to you and you didn’t even try to fight back. You didn’t even press charges.” Chad opened his mouth to spout off the cover story from before, when Doug continued, “And don’t say anything about _magic leeches_ ; we both know that nothing lives in the Enchanted lake. She assaulted you.”

It was a fucking shame that Doug had discovered the truth to Chad’s cunning, because now it made this unapproachable thing even more desirable. “It’s her against me, Doug. And with two kingdoms backing her, I’d get crushed as collateral easy.”

As the sole heir to Sardinia’s monarchy, Chad was important, yes, but there were many who were unhappy with his mother’s quick ascension through the social classes. Many who thought that Chad was a political mutt and would be better suited to be replaced by someone of a more royal pedigree, whose parents were both of high social stature. So he may have advantage against the Auradon common man, but against another royal he wouldn’t be the one given the benefit of the doubt. Especially if that royal was _Audrey_.

“This isn’t right.” Doug’s fingers stilled against his shoulder blades, and his body was so close Chad could feel the heat emanating from him. “She shouldn’t be allowed to get away with hurting you just because-”

“She’s a princess?” Chad offered. “But she can, and she will.” He felt Doug begin to put up another protest and stilled it with a shake of his head. “Even if I did press charges, my grandfather would have them wiped before they could be served against her. It would look weak - me, a strapping prince, openly admitting to assault by a _princess_. He’d bury it.”

And then bury Chad, but that didn’t need to be mentioned.

“It’s wrong,” Doug pressed. He even sounded choked up about it, which was a kind of sweetness Chad didn’t actually need. “It’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair.” Chad had long gotten used to that. In the grand scheme of things, this was nothing. Hell, Audrey’s assault had made _her_ look worse _and_ gotten Doug’s hands on Chad, so if anything, he should be thanking her. “It’s just the way things are, Doug.”

There was likely some sort of argument that Doug would have attempted had the window not creaked open in the next moment. A second later, Evie slid into the room, Jay following on her heels, closing the window behind them.

The princess took in Doug’s first aid kit and the treated scratch marks with a knowing look, crossing the room to sit on Chad’s free side. “I see you were one step ahead of me,” she murmured, unloading a series of homemade ointments out of her purse.

Chad could feel Doug tense ever so slightly. “It seemed like the prominent thing to do.”

“You guys didn’t have to come,” Chad said before things could get weird. Or, weirder. “I mean, I appreciate it, of course, but-”

“I have a few herbal remedies that used to work wonders back on the Isle,” Evie interrupted, making quick work of unscrewing a few of her jars. “Jane showed me where I could get ingredients to make better stuff here. I was hoping it could help.”

“It couldn’t hurt,” Chad shrugged, feeling off balance by the way she studied his chest so intently. 

“What did the doctors say?” Jay asked, curling up on the window seat and staring off into the night.

“That I should be less enthusiastic in the bedroom,” Chad said with a wink, even though none of his audience seemed willing to buy it, an unhappy frown marring Evie’s pretty lips.

“Don’t,” Doug said, his voice tight. “This isn’t a joke.”

“Obviously,” Chad scoffed, shivering when Evie began to dab ointment against the hollow of his throat. “Since none of you are laughing.” 

“Should we be?” Evie asked. It wasn’t a cruel question, he didn’t think, more like a genuine probe. “Is anything about this supposed to be funny?”

“The look on Audrey’s face was pretty funny,” Chad mused, because it _had_ been, seeing her perfect hair plastered to her head in wild disarray while she dripped water like an angry cat was going to be one of his fonder memories. “And that’s more than enough for me.”

He kept his tone easy, casual, even when Evie’s hands probed downwards, attending to the harsh lines slashed across Chad’s pectorals. One of them grazed the side of his nipple, but Evie didn’t allow that to deter her, her dainty fingers rubbing into the reddened skin with an attentive care that made Chad shudder. He hated it, hated himself, mostly, for getting lost so easily in the feel of Doug so close to him, of Evie taking care of him. Hated that a gentle touch was enough to kindle a distinct heat in him, nipple hardening into a fine pebble with barely any contact. _Fuck_.

“She doesn’t like you,” Evie said lightly, pretending not to notice the way her touch affected Chad. “Why is that?”

“People say I’m prettier than her,” Chad managed, letting his fingers curl into the blanket beside him to keep from doing something stupid, like touching Doug or Evie. Jay was _right there_. “So she’s probably jealous.”

“Think you’re right on that one,” Jay muttered, propping his head on his knee and watching their work with a lazy half-lidded stare. “But not right about what she’s jealous of.”

“I have literally n-nothing else that could-” Chad swallowed hard because Evie’s hands drifted lower, tracing across his abdomen that refused to hold still under the touch. “Nothing worth envying. Besides my good looks,” he added, belatedly.

Doug’s hands drifted to his low back, kneading at the skin just above the waist of his pajama pants. “You have plenty of stuff worth envying,” he said quietly. “I think Audrey didn’t figure that out until too late.”

Evie’s thumb accidentally dug into one of the scratches on his lower abdomen and Chad hissed, legs spreading reflexively wide when an electric current pulsed through his chest, pooling low in his groin. He flushed, realizing his responses were getting a little more difficult to hide, and hated himself again.

Evie blinked at him. Then slowly, ever so slowly, did it again.

Chad whimpered. 

He could _feel_ Jay and Doug’s immediate attention; Doug’s concerned while Jay was- hungry, probably. Dude seemed horny all the time.

Chad tried to ignore Evie’s knowing look, realization spreading across her features, then offered her a sheepish shrug. “What can I say?” He grinned. “There’s a reason they call me a slut.”

“ _Don’t_.” Evie’s tone was firm and brooked no room for arguments, a steady sort of domination that made Chad tremble. “This isn’t _that_. This is-” She started massaging small circles on his abdomen regardless of where the scratches were, and Chad had to swallow a whine at the careful exploration, at the feel of Doug’s arm draping across his shoulder. “This is trust. You’re trusting us to take care of you.”

Her hand shifted lower, deliberately cupping his groin before giving it a firm squeeze that made his toes curl. He could hear Doug’s sharp inhale beside him, but didn’t dare look at this roommate. 

“You don’t,” he swallowed, forcing his hands to stay in place. “You don’t have to do this, Evie. You don’t owe it to me.”

“No, I don’t,” she agreed and it was a relief until she started moving her hand, shifting and grinding her palm between his legs. “But I _want_ to do this. I want to take care of you, the same way you take care of us.”

“I- I don’t-”

“You do a lot for us.” Her gaze was warm and heavy at the same time, pinning Chad in place even as she urged his hips forward into her palm. “You’ve given us anything we could want. Anything we could need, and you didn’t ask for anything in return.”

Chad was too aware of Doug’s hands on his shoulders, the other teen watching as Evie worked him over, not objecting, not even running away.

“We kept expecting you too,” Evie continued. “But you didn’t. Carlos practically had to beg you to help with kissing practice.”

Doug stilled beside them. “…k-kissing practice?”

Chad flushed. This was not- helping with the anti-slut movement they were trying for here.

But Evie was grinning. “Yes. Chad taught Carlos how to kiss. And I’m sure he’d help you too, Doug, if you asked.”

There was not a lot in the world Chad _wouldn’t_ do for Doug, but he was pretty sure kissing practice would absolutely ruin him forever.

“And if you _did_ ,” Evie pressed, hand moving faster. “There would be _nothing_ wrong with it. It would be a- a healthy exploration of intimate relations-” Chad really didn’t need to picture him and Doug _intimately relating_ in any capacity, but now he was stuck with that image. “And that is something Audrey would be jealous of. Because she doesn’t have anyone she could trust like this.”

“And she won’t,” Doug said, emboldened by Evie’s ferocity. “That’s what makes her so mad.”

“Could we um-” Chad bit at his lip to keep a broken moan from spilling out. “-stop talking about Audrey?”

“Okay,” Evie said, speeding up her pace. “This is just about you. We’re here for you, and we’re going to take care of you, okay?”

“F-fu- _Evie_ ,” Chad whined, then felt himself come undone, arching into her hand as delicious throws of current ripped through his body.

When he came back to himself, Doug was holding him up and Evie was carding her fingers through his hair in gentle movements.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jay groaned. Chad had almost forgotten he was there, but it was obvious the other teen had been watching them, his cheeks flushed and breath coming heavy. “Evie-”

“Go get something to clean Chad up,” Evie ordered, never taking her eyes off Chad. “And take care of yourself while you’re at it.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jay repeated, and then disappeared into the shadows. 

That was- wow.

“I um… think the ointment’s dry,” Doug said quietly. 

Evie nodded, and between the two of them they navigated a mostly boneless Chad back into his shirt. It felt better to be covered, though he was horribly aware of the mess he had made in his pants, the shame of it burning a flush into his cheeks.

“It’s okay,” Evie soothed as though she knew what was running through his head, working with Doug to guide Chad to lay back down on his bed between the two of them. It was a bittersweet sort of horror to have two such substantially attractive people _right there_ , and the situation only got sort of worse when Jay climbed up between his legs with a wet washcloth. 

“ _Um_ ,” Doug said when Jay just- casually pulled down Chad’s pants and underwear, cleaning him with careful methodic movements that made Chad flush with the ease of the exchange. They said nothing when the thief pulled his clothes the rest of the way off and tossed his underwear aside, pulling his pajama pants back in place with such efficient movements that Chad could only ruminate in his humiliation for maybe ten seconds before it was over.

Okay, so- not exactly how he’d wanted Doug to see his dick for the first time. Not how he wanted Evie or Jay to see it either, but especially not Doug. At least most of the bruising had faded.

“Not a slut,” Evie murmured, curling into Chad’s side. 

“Nope,” Jay agreed, letting his head rest on Chad’s stomach, hand lying possessively on his hip because he actually wanted to _kill_ him or something.

“Thirded,” Doug murmured, never one to back down from a challenge as he settled in close, pulling his glasses off and setting them to the side. “Motion carries.”

“Nerd,” Chad whispered, but no one paid him any mind, Evie content with turning off the lamplight and leaving them in darkness, cuddled beneath the blankets that Jay passed them. Like this was a thing. 

Maybe it was.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Benny-boo,” Chad heard Audrey’s coo drift out the window. “I promise, it wasn’t what it looked like.”

“It wasn’t?” Ben shot back, and Chad knew the only reason either of them spoke so freely was because they thought they were alone in Ben’s office. Unfortunately, Chad had needed to sneak some paperwork into the outgoing box on Ben’s desk and this had _supposedly_ been the best time to do it, which led to him crouching in some familiar bushes while they hashed whatever out in the room above. “So you didn’t call him a slut?”

Ben had her there, but Audrey wasn’t one to be easily shaken. “I was joking,” she huffed, sounding exasperated that he would even bring it up. “I mean, did Chad seem upset by it?”

“No, because Chad agreed with you.” Ben’s tone was too difficult to discern, maybe a thread of anger mixed with something else unreadable. Chad was grateful he didn’t have to deal with it. “Why didn’t you tell me about those rumors?”

“Because I thought you knew them?” A fair enough defense. “Ben, everyone knows it. It’s like- breathing. It’s just a thing.”

“Chad’s so-called promiscuity shouldn’t be _inherent_ ,” Ben shot back, and that time, Chad could hear the tension in his voice. “And why did you scratch him up so badly?”

“I told you, it was an _accident_ ,” Audrey sighed. “Did we argue? Yes, but I’m not going to go ballistic on the guy because of it.”

A very well executed lie, Chad almost wanted to applaud her.

“You’re not?” Ben challenged- actually _challenged_ which was not a thing Ben did. “Because you’ve never liked him-”

“He’s dumb and shallow, Ben,” Audrey sighed. “I know you’re old friends, but there’s like- no substance there.”

“Which is why he doesn’t have to be _your_ friend.” It sounded like Ben was barely holding onto his composure, which was a strange thing, for Chad. He hadn’t realized the other teen had cared so much, but then again, it was Ben they were talking about. And they had been friends a long time. “But he is _mine_ , and you should be able to respect that without trying to drown him.”

“I wasn’t trying to drown him!” Audrey shot back. “I already told your inspector that.” Hold up, there was an _inspector_? Ben had authorized an _inspection_? How had Chad missed that? Granted, Jane had forced Chad to have a medical exam to make sure all of the water was out of his lungs after the fact, but that was supposed to be a sealed file. “Can’t you accept the fact that I made a mistake?”

“Your mistake hurt my friend, Audrey!” Ben wasn’t backing down either. “And you scared Carlos-”

“As if I could scare _him_ ,” Audrey snapped.

“See?” Ben was pacing now, walking a line behind his desk. “ _This_ is why we don’t work, Audrey. We don’t care about the same things-”

“No, we don’t work because you’re thinking with your dick, _Ben_.” Wow, Audrey had totally given up on the sweet act to cut straight to the point. “You want to fuck Chad so badly, but you don’t realize is that sex is all he’ll be able to offer you! That’s it, Ben! It’s why he sleeps around so much! He knows it’s all he’s good for!”

What the hell did Audrey have against a healthy sex life? Was she just jealous? Chad was pretty sure she was jealous. 

“Don’t say that, Audrey,” Ben warned, voice a low gravely threat, equivalent to a beast’s growl. “Don’t-”

“You could have him,” Audrey pressed. “You ask and he’d be there in a _second_ , but he can’t help you rule the kingdom, Ben. He can’t do anything besides look pretty and take dick. You see the way he ogles those VKs-” Alright, at most he was ogling _Evie_ , not all of them. “-he _obviously_ has no shame. Letting Jay feel him up all the time.”

Okay that was just- harmless. And sort of who Jay was. And it wasn’t like Chad _cared_. 

“You know, I bet they’ve already had sex,” Audrey continued. “Bet he let Jay take him like _that_ without a thought about how you’re pining for used goods-”

“ _That’s_ _enough, Audrey!_ ” The roar tore through the room, seeming to pulse through Chad’s chest until the world rang with silence, until there was nothing but the sounds of harsh breathing from above.

“…that’s enough,” Ben repeated, voice barely audible, as though all his energy had been spent. “We’re not going to talk about this again.”

“… _Fine_.” Chad could picture Audrey crossing her arms defensively. “When this falls apart I’ll take you back, but you’re going to have to make it up to me.”

“Goodbye, Audrey,” Ben said, sounding… not broken but- something close to it. 

The door slammed shut behind her like a definite thing, and Chad didn’t dare move, didn’t dare breathe, because that was- a lot. A lot of accusations and Ben had confirmed nothing, meaning it was likely all nonsense from Audrey’s overactive imagination, but-

But his heart was pounding in his chest at the thought of it, aching at the idea of disappointing Ben, when Chad knew that he likely already did that every day. 

He startled when he heard a thunderous _crash_ from the room above, followed by audible panting- by _Ben’s_ audible panting and- he must have thrown something. A chair maybe, against the wall, and now he was just- trying to breathe, so frustrated with his ex-girlfriend that he didn’t know what to do anymore.

Chad knew that having Aziz break the two of them up was for the best in the long run, he just wished he wouldn’t hurt Ben _now_. It was a nasty business, but like most other things, it needed to be done. For Auradon. 

And more importantly, they needed to take care of Audrey.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Just find her someone,” Chad griped to a frustrated Aziz, Lonnie having the gall to give the Agrabah prince sympathetic looks when Chad just got eye rolls. “I’m serious; she’s really messing with Ben.”

“Chad, I get it,” Aziz sighed. “You don’t want anyone hurting your precious _Ben-_ ”

“He’s not my precious-”

“But life comes with hurdles,” Aziz continued. “And Ben’s a big boy, he’ll get over them.”

“He literally _growled_ at her,” Chad pressed. “He threw a chair, Aziz. Ben doesn’t do that! He doesn’t yell and throw things, that’s-”

“Audrey’s territory?” Lonnie offered. Jane hummed in agreement.

“Exactly!” Chad snapped. “We need to get her out of the way before she corrupts him some more.”

“ _Ugh_ ,” Aziz gushed, letting his head fall back on Lonnie’s bed. “Toxic people.”

Lonnie offered him a commiserative leg pat. “Look, the problem is that Audrey doesn’t actually care about Ben or having a boyfriend, she just wants to be queen of Auradon, and literally the only person who can give that to her is Ben. So either we have to give her something that’s more appealing than _that_ , or make it so that Ben couldn’t possibly be worth struggling through to get that queen-ship.”

An expression not unlike a lightbulb moment settled onto Aziz’s face. “You know what? I think I’ve got this.”

“What?” Chad perked up. “What are you going to do?”

“Honestly, nothing,” Aziz chirped. “Ben’s already doing most of the work, but trust me, it will get done.”

“That is not how you solve _-_ ”

“It _will_ ,” Aziz interrupted with a haughty look. “Get _done_.”

“Until then, we could create some sort of dance with a queen nomination?” Jane offered. “Like a Fall Ball or something? Then we could just rig the ballets to give her thirst for power an immediate but ultimately harmless fix.”

“Yes.” Chad snapped his fingers. “See, these are the ideas we’ve been needing.”

“The idea to create a superfluous social event to cater to a spoiled princess’ needs?” Lonnie asked. “I mean, there are worse ways to solve a problem.”

“You say this,” Aziz grumbled. “But now we’re going to have to get two formal outfits. And who are we going to rig for _‘Fall Ball’_ King?”

A weighted silence fell over them.

“Oh, _hell_ no,” the Agrabah prince griped, but Jane was already putting it down in writing, which meant the deal had already been sealed.

So it was written in gel ink, so it shall be. Thus was the will of the ‘Save Auradon’ team.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Fall Ball?” Ben read, frowning at the rumpled flyer in his hand. “I don’t remember approving this.”

“That’s what happens when you don’t read your paperwork closely enough, Benny-boy,” Chad chirped, pretending to sweep his gaze over the flyer Lonnie and Jane had designed as though he and Aziz hadn’t been the ones to distribute them all over campus. “Cool idea, though. Food. Dancing.” He aimed a wink at Evie. “ _Fancy clothes_.”

“Sounds dumb,” Mal griped, though to be fair she seemed to object to the thing on principal of the rhyming nature of its name. “And what the hell is ‘ _Fall Ball Royalty’_?”

“Something that I’m obviously going to win,” Chad crowed. “And if I don’t, it’s because everyone was just intimidated.” 

“You say that about everything,” Carlos muttered, though he mostly seemed confused again. “Do you guys do stuff like this all the time?”

“Not really?” Ben said. “Or, I mean, there’s a lot of traditions – like the Spring Fling and Midsummer Festival and Yule feast – stuff like that, but this is um-” He brought the flyer closer to his face. “I really don’t remember approving this.”

“Maybe it was Fairy Godmother’s idea?” Chad offered innocently. “Something to get the school’s spirits up?”

“Yeah.” Mal was back to frowning. “Have to get your spirits up from the weird group of villain kids you’re hosting.”

Okay, that was _not_ the point.

“Mal-” Ben looked pained.

“What, you’ve got some sort of event you’ve never hosted before that just _happens_ to coincide with our first semester here?” Mal asked. “Nice try, but _no_ thanks.” She crossed her arms. “Like I said, it sounds dumb.”

Damage control. Damage control. Damage control needed to be done-

“Then why don’t we have our own ball?” Chad found himself saying before he could think better of it.

The others collectively turned to stare at him.

“You know-” he continued, undeterred. “It’s fishy, I get that. So we just- chill elsewhere.” Maybe at the Enchanted _Lake_ , since they ended up there all the time anyway. “We could go to Ben’s castle!”

Chad hadn’t been there in a while – he needed to rebug some of their computers anyway.

Ben didn’t seem convinced. “I don’t know guys, as future king-”

“It would be totally understandable for you to miss what is apparently a last-minute affair,” Doug ventured quietly. “Since your schedule’s planned so far out in advance.”

_Doug, you beautiful devil, you_.

“So really, it would be more of a surprise if you actually _went_ to the _‘Fall Ball’_.” Chad was really getting behind making fun of the name. This was great. “Come on, Ben. Play hooky. Anti-ball. Anti-ball.” Chad kept up his quiet chant until Carlos took pity on him and joined in, and then of _course_ Jay couldn’t be left out and Evie giggled along and even Doug was invested, all of them staring at the to-be King expectantly.

Eventually, Ben sighed. “Okay, _okay_. We’ll have an anti-ball,” he relented. “But if anyone asks, it’s a secret retreat to review important security matters for Auradon.”

“I mean, obviously,” Mal drawled, and to her credit, Ben _did_ smile.

So that was something.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“I can’t believe you,” Aziz grumbled as they finished making the menu selections for the catering team under Jane’s watchful eye. “You’re on the planning committee for this dumb, fake event and you’re not even _going_.”

“I think what you meant to say was ‘ _good job, Chad, you dashing genius, you_ ’,” Chad griped with a roll of his eyes. “Because my _totally brilliant_ plan will keep the VKs safe from any of Audrey’s schemes, because they won’t even be there- _and_ ,” he continued, waving his pen in a flourish. “Ben won’t be there either, so it won’t be weird when he doesn’t win _Fall Ball_ King.”

Aziz sniffed. “I could have theoretically beaten him.”

“No, you couldn’t have,” Lonnie said without looking up from selecting table centerpieces from a catalogue.

“So in conclusion,” Chad said, choosing a handful of hors d'oeuvres that he would never have to eat. “I am a genius, and you are all welcome.”

“I don’t get what Ben sees in you,” Aziz grumbled, earning a crumpled up ball of paper to the head from an irritated Lonnie.

“Yeah, me neither,” Chad agreed. “Here’s to sentimentality.”

“Yeah,” Lonnie scoffed. “We’re lucky Ben’s so _sentimental_.”

And then Aziz, Lonnie, and Jane did that weird eye thing where they thought they were leaving Chad out of something but the joke was on them because there was nothing to _miss_.

And Chad was a genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the feedback!! I always love hearing from you, and it's a real treat for me to write for such an enthusiastic and supportive audience ^_^
> 
> Thanks to everyone who kudo-ed, bookmarked, and favorited as well! You guys are awesome!
> 
> Story Notes:
> 
> I have decided that if ever I need to create a superfluous social event for Auradon Prep, it shall forever be the ‘Fall Ball’. Definitely using that one again in future stories ;P
> 
> And seriously, I don’t hate Audrey – she’s just in a position to be such a good bad guy for this story that I had to take advantage of it. 
> 
> WARNING - The super minor assault comes via Audrey's scratchy nails in the first scene, when she and Chad are arguing about Ben's love life. It also includes some very, very minor drowning that Chad totally blows off, but it's still very much there. 
> 
> Until next time :)


	7. Laugh it Up, We'll Have a Ball

Ben snuck them off campus in a limo because Ben didn’t really understand the point of ‘sneaking’, but it was worth it anyway, to be able to watch the VKs’ faces as Auradon flew by them. They’d packed for an overnight trip at Ben’s insistence, the to-be king practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of a proper slumber party. While Chad had spent many nights passed out with either Lonnie, Aziz, or Jane, those were mostly due to working themselves into an exhaustion because of some save Auradon project or other, and not out of a whimsical social obligation. He hadn’t been to an actual slumber party since… the last time Ben had asked him over. Maybe when they were ten? At some point, it became unbecoming to spend so much one-on-one time with someone who wouldn’t be your future spouse. 

Chad did not make this rule, he just suffered from it. In silence.

“Okay, so I had a few ideas for activities,” Ben explained with a complete absence of irony, as though his secret calling was always that of a summer camp counselor. He gestured Mal away from where she was watching the footmen unload their luggage with a wary eye to lead them towards the stables. “I swear, I planned this out properly.”

“Did you now?” Chad asked, sharing a dubious look with Carlos before following the mess of a human he liked so much. It was early afternoon – the Tourney game and classes had been canceled early in celebration of the _Fall Ball_ (frankly, the best part of the affair, if Chad said so himself). They’d left for Ben’s castle after lunch so the sun was still high in the sky, ready for _festivities_.

Apparently, these festivities would also include swimming at some point Chad assumed; otherwise Ben’s request for them to wear their usual Friday swimming gear was especially misplaced. 

“Ta- _da_!” Ben exclaimed when they got into the stable, a few horse grooms standing next to seven saddled horses. “We’re going to go on an adventure!”

Chad sighed. “Ben, did you even ask if everyone knew how to horseback ride?”

Ben’s smile dimmed ever so slightly. “No, but I mean, it’s not that hard to learn. Not like swimming-”

“Yeah, I’m not riding that thing by myself,” Mal declared, giving the horses the same look of suspicion she’d offered the footmen earlier. “Dibs on Chad.”

“What?” Jay blinked. “You can’t call-”

“Just did,” Mal drawled, making a show of examining her nails with preening triumph.

“Guys, please, there’s plenty of me to go around.” Chad didn’t know if they were defaulting to him because Ben was proving once again to be terrible at planning and he seemed like the least offensive option available or what. “I can take both of you.”

“Um-” Ben said. Well, didn’t really say. Stood there awkwardly in the wake of his own failures.

Chad waved him off. “Carlos can ride behind Ben and Doug can take Evie.” See? _Ultimate_ bro move. Chad just got his roommate an intimate trail ride with a pretty princess. Go _him_.

“Actually...” Doug flushed. “I um- don’t know how to ride a horse either.” 

It took a lot of effort for Chad not to give Ben a look that bemoaned the existence of his poor planning skills.

Thankfully, Evie giggled. “It’s okay; I think I’d like to give it a try.”

“Great,” Chad chirped, deciding to move on. “Doug can ride behind Evie as the royalty takes us to whatever Ben has planned.”

“Hopefully he thought _that_ out,” Mal grumbled.

Ben’s only response was a wounded look as he urged Carlos towards his chosen horse, and Chad may or may not have captured it on camera because he was only so strong. A guy had needs.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Their significantly diminished caravan made it to a private cove after about maybe thirty minutes of riding, which was… an experience. Chad rode with Mal perched in front of him and Jay behind, leading to the taller teen to keep his hands glued to Chad’s hips while Chad had one arm curled around Mal’s waist, the others on the reins. Evie, of course, was a natural, taking to it like a born equestrian, navigating her horse easily through the trail while Doug clung to her back. Chad managed to convince Mal to take a few videos of the sight, which may or may not have led to their own play-by-play documentary as they made fun of Ben and the furious blush on Carlos’ cheeks as he clung to the prince’s waist.

“Bet you wish you’d gone with Ben now, huh Jay?” Chad had offered over his shoulder after Carlos sent them a pouty look.

Jay gave an awkward kind of chuckle. “Nah, man. I’m good.”

“You’re right.” Chad grinned. “Get too close and Ben’s poor planning might rub off on you.”

Ben, who seemed to have a third sense for when they were making fun of him, shot them a wounded look. “ _Guys_.”

Cue a justified round of laughter.

To Ben’s credit, the beach part of their surprise beach trip was actually well thought out. There was fancy beachside tent already set up for them, swathed in white, fluttery fabric and outfitted with plenty of lounges and even a table and chairs. Food was ready for them too, making Chad wonder what poor souls Ben had sent out ahead of them, then decided to disregard that in favor of savoring Mal’s delighted look of appreciation. There was even a firepit. 

They left their horses in a temporary paddock close to the trail and set off for the water like wild children. The VKs were, understandably, more worried about the ocean than the Enchanted Lake as the lake was small and contained and still and the ocean was an immense body of water that was constantly moving with no discernable boundaries. Chad opted to ease them into things by building castles in the wet sandy area of low tide, then led Evie and Carlos through a nice walk through the shallows, letting the waves lap at their ankles. Mal and Jay, ever the adventurous ones, followed Ben out into the waves until they were deep enough to jump with each swell of water, leaving them weightless and giggling. The rest of them watched their trials from afar, sitting in the shallows so the waves could splash harmlessly against their legs, leaning back on wet sand.

“This ocean thing isn’t so bad,” Carlos muttered, allowing some of the wet sand to fall through his fingertips. “This is way better than what we’ve got on the Isle.”

“Less sharks,” Evie agreed, and just like every time they casually revealed something barbaric from their home of sixteen years, Doug got a sad look on his face.

“You know what we should do? Look for seashells!” Chad declared, killing the melancholy before it could begin, which was how the four of them came to scavenge up and down the beach, looking for half-shells and silver dollars, finding the occasional hermit crab.

“What _even_ ,” Carlos said, looking all at once mesmerized and delighted as he watched the tiny crab scuttle across the floor of Ben’s fancy tent. “And they just- keep growing?”

“Yep.” Chad took a picture of Carlos’ open wonder, sending it to the group chat he’d created for them. “They’ll move into bigger and bigger shells, leaving the empty ones for another hermit crab.”

“ _Wicked_ ,” Carlos whispered, and for once Chad thought this was not a literal description, but more of a source of amazement for the young teen.

They were in the middle of a round of wandering but high-stakes hermit crab races when the other three rejoined them.

“Come on, pink shell!” Chad cheered, Evie giggling into his shoulder. “You can do it!”

“They _all_ have pink shells,” Carlos groaned, but he was still smiling, sharing happy looks with Doug as they continued to watch the ‘race’. 

“We leave you alone for like, thirty minutes, and this is what you come to?” Jay asked, maintaining his reputation as unfairly attractive when he combed his sea-wet hair out of his face. _Ugh_. Auradon was doing that boy good. He’d definitely bulked up to healthy and also unreasonably sexy levels.

“Keep talking like that and we _won’t_ share any of our shell treasures with you,” Chad sniffed, and then he had to fight off six feet of _giant baby_ when Jay all but collapsed against his back in objection, because he couldn’t _not_ have things and also he wanted to grope Chad.

By the time Doug was walking them through the art of the perfect s’more, the sun was getting lower in the sky, meaning dinner time was eminent. 

On the ride back, Chad somehow got saddled with Doug and Carlos, the young De Ville leaning back into his chest while Doug’s head rested against his shoulder from behind. To their delight, Jay had ended up behind Ben, pretending not to blush up a storm (except they got photographic proof and it was _beautiful_ ) and Mal settled behind Evie, laughing as the princess kicked them into a low trot. 

It was sort of a relief to get back to their assigned suite (because of course it was a suite, why would Ben let them be _apart_ ), and Ben ended up arranging for pizza (because it wasn’t like Mrs. Potts would ever let him _order_ it when he was in his own castle) while they took turns showering, but not _before_ Ben stood in front of them with a nervous sort of tension.

“Okay, so- I know this is an _anti_ -ball so I um- I figured we were doing things the opposite of a regular ball-”

“It’s a sleepover, Ben,” Mal interrupted with a smirk. “Just call it a sleepover.”

“ _Right_.” For whatever reason, that seemed to make Ben less tense. “Anyway, I figured formal wear is a part of any good ball, so I um- got us all fancy pajamas!”

He stepped aside to reveal seven bundles of clothes wrapped in actual ribbons, and Chad felt his heart surrender completely all over again for this over-earnest doof of a human.

“Awesome!” Chad said, because it was done and Ben looked so hopeful and he’d gotten each of them specific _pajamas_ , what a loser. “Are mine the shimmering blue ones? I want the shimmering blue ones.”

“Yes,” Ben laughed, a relieved sort of flush overtaking his cheeks. “They’re yours. Like your um- mom’s dress.”

“ _Aww_ , thanks!” Chad kept his smile bright even if _that_ tugged at his heart too, because Ben couldn’t know how much it meant to him, how much Chad loved his mother even if he downplayed it in public, because it wasn’t like he could hand out weaknesses. “Guessing the purple’s for Mal.”

“Obviously,” Mal scoffed, bypassing whatever hesitation she had to snatch up her bundle, and then passing over what had to be Evie’s as well. “I suppose this is an acceptable offering of comfort.”

“Are these _silk_?” Jay asked, like he didn’t dare to hope, and his cheeks flushed dark when Ben simply nodded.

“Huh,” Carlos said, prodding at his black, white, and red patterned pajamas. “They’re really soft.”

“They’re _silk_ ,” Jay groaned, as if this pained him. Chad took his deliberation out of his hands and pass the dark red bundle to him before he could freak out and avoid it entirely, seeming not to think he was worthy of touching such things.

“Thanks, Ben,” Doug said, grin soft as he cradled his mossy green bundle to his chest. “That was really thoughtful of you.”

Ben, clutching his own pile of blue and yellow silk, grinned bashfully under the appreciation. “Happy to help.”

For the record, everyone looked suitably adorable _in_ the pajamas as they had holding them. Evie’s was a dramatic floor-length nightgown that came complete with a matching robe, the hem embroidered with a dark lace that made Evie seem even more regal than before. Mal’s pajama set included cute lace-edged shorts and a dramatic robe she liked to twirl in, the sleeves wide and billowy and fun to wave around. Jay seemed almost bashful when he emerged in his wine-red clothes, something that got even worse when Evie pulled his hair back in a French braid that only seemed to bring out his cheekbones. 

Carlos was happy to roll around in his slightly big pajamas – even after all this time in Auradon he was still a little underweight, likely due to all the energy he burned during Tourney practice – taking pictures with his phone or tapping out code (Chad had gotten him a few books on computer languages that Carlos had consumed with a voracious appetite, and now he could just program whatever he wanted). And if Doug was taunting in his usual pjs these were just- the worst, because it made him look like a true consort, bashful but luxurious and so painfully _Doug_ that Chad wanted to weep, settled for taking photos and hoping Aziz and Lonnie wouldn’t make fun of him for it later.

And Ben was just- stupid. Chad hated him. Hated how he looked both handsome and adorable in his perfectly tailored Auradon blue-and-yellow pajamas. He even had a dress robe. What the hell, of course he did, he was the _prince_ of Auradon, it just- didn’t seem fair, but that was life, wasn’t it? To have the object of your affection flaunting around in what should be a dorky dress robe and pulling it off _effortlessly_.

Chad had to distract himself from Ben’s taunting wonders with his own shimmery pajamas – a pale blue so fine they almost seemed silver that glinted in the reflection of the gentle light of the room. They were a little too flashy for Chad’s taste, but Evie seemed to love them, insisting on a bounty of selfie’s where they made appropriately duck-like faces.

It was fun. It was fun when Ben turned on a playlist that had them dancing in the broad spaces of his room, fun to spin and twirl the girls (and Carlos, and _Doug_ ) and then be spun by a determined Jay and gentlemanly Ben. At Chad’s insistence they introduced the VKs to the limbo from Avalor and Carlos spent the next twenty minutes thrashing all of them solidly, using his small stature and incredible flexibility to win every round and also give Chad’s dumb libido ideas it definitely didn’t need.

Introducing Mal to the chicken dance was easily the greatest idea of Chad’s life, as little as she refused to participate, laughing at them from the sidelines while Chad dragged a reluctant Carlos along for the ride, Ben – the future _king_ – boisterous with Evie and Doug, until the very reluctant _too-cool-for-school_ Jay and Mal decided to jump in. They polkaed. They waltzed. Evie was a natural at all forms of high dancing and glowed under Ben and Chad’s attention, and Carlos was effortlessly light on his feet. It was fun to see Doug blush as he tried to guide Mal through a dance, knew it definitely ended with her leading before Jay cut in, taking Chad’s roommate on a very enthusiastic spin around the floor. 

It was dumb, and so superfluously _fun_ that Chad didn’t know what to do with it. They joked and played around during their times at the lake and at lunch and spent what was probably too much free time together, but to spend an evening just- _enjoying_ each other, not worrying about the future of Auradon or the Isle or anything else- 

That was a greater gift than anything else.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“What are these for?” Mal muttered, frowning at the small slips of paper Ben was handing out to everyone.

“Well,” the prince began with a look that never boded well for anyone. “I thought that since they were having _Fall Ball_ royalty, we could also vote for _Anti-ball_ king and queen.” And yep, there it was, there was the bad idea.

Carlos frowned. “Dude, there are like seven of us.” He looked around. “And only two girls.”

“I renounce my bid for Anti-Prom Queen,” Mal drawled. “Long live Queen Evie.”

“Yay!” The princess clapped, seeming truly delighted by this turn of events.

“And now we’re just voting for a dude,” Jay said, seeming not entirely happy with this turn of events.

“Well,” Chad said, plastering on his best grin because even though this was a terrible idea, it was _Ben’s_ terrible idea. “I know who _I’m_ voting for.”

In a twist of fate, he checked the box with ‘Doug’s’ name. He liked stirring the pot.

“Oh.” Carlos blinked, then scrawled something down. “Good idea.” 

Chad hoped that didn’t mean what he thought that meant.

Ben, being a good sport, counted the ballets. “Okay, so that’s… six votes for Chad and one vote for Doug.”

“Um.” Doug flushed. “I’d just like to say that I didn’t vote for myself.”

“I thought we were all supposed to vote for ourselves,” Chad fake whispered. “So we could all tie and win.”

“That-” Jay blinked in confusion. “That’s _not_ winning.”

“Well it _is_ the antithesis of what’s happening at the Fall Ball, right?” Chad asked, trying to wrap his head around the fact that everyone else voted for _him_. “Why can’t we all be Fall King and Queen?”

“That’s such an Auradon thing to say,” Mal groaned. “ _Everyone’s a winner_.”

“Except you like that idea,” Evie mused, and Mal rolled her eyes, but didn’t deny it.

Ben blinked at them. “Well, as crown prince, I declare us all King and Queen of the Anti-Ball.”

“Dibs on Queen,” Chad whispered, and then had to duck a swipe from Evie as they broke out in their celebratory dance.

This, Chad decided, was one of his better ideas.

-:-:-:-:-:-

The key to a successful infiltration was to act as though you belonged there. Attitude could carry you most of the way if stealth failed you, and it was with this that Chad managed to break his way into the private security terminals he needed to bug, easily planting Jane’s spy devices before leaving as though he’d never been there. He detoured to the kitchens to fetch a glass of milk as a believable cover, and was on his way back to their slumber party when he was waylaid by an ominous cough.

To be fair, there wasn’t anything particularly frightening about the sound of a throat being cleared, unless that particular throat belonged to the King of Auradon who just happened to be lurking in the shadows, as though waiting for unsuspecting teenagers to walk by at the very natural hour of three in the morning.

“Chadwick,” King Adam said quietly, tilting his head down the hall whence he came. “If I may have a moment.”

“Of course, your majesty.” Chad didn’t have to feign his confusion as he easily followed, broad hallways twisting into narrow corridors until they were at last in some kind of private lounge, a low fire kindled on the hearth next to the couch King Adam settled onto. For lack of any direction, Chad sat down across from him, placing his glass of milk on the table before them. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to be leaving with it anyway.

“It’s good to see you, Chadwick,” King Adam lied smoothly. He’d considered Chad a nuisance for years, an annoyance he had to bear for the sake of inter-kingdom relations, though unlike Audrey his false warmth seemed much more genuine. “I regret not being available to socialize with Ben’s guests,” he explained. “But since you’re up, I was wondering if you could answer a few questions.”

“Of course, your majesty,” Chad repeated. “I’m um- not great with questions-”

“I think you’ll answer these just fine,” King Adam said kindly, cutting through Chad’s usual sputters for the sake of efficiency. “I was wondering if you had any information about Ben and Audrey’s breakup.”

Ah.

Yes, should have known that was going to come back to bite him.

Chad forced a slow shrug. “She broke up with him, from what I heard.”

“Yes, I heard the same,” the king said, as though it was perfectly normal for him to be up-to-date on a teenager’s love life. “But I also heard she tried to correct her mistake. Any idea why Ben turned her down?”

A _mistake_ , obviously, because Ben and Audrey’s coupling had been planned since they were infants, four kingdoms aligned under the rule of two heirs, with a united kingdom in addition to it.

“I think Ben just… wanted to strike out on his own, for a bit,” Chad tried. “He’s been dating Audrey a long time-”

“Yes, he has,” King Adam agreed. “They were quite formidable together.”

“I think most of that was Audrey,” Chad said before he could help himself.

Somehow, this earned him a laugh. “That may be true,” he agreed. “But Audrey was raised to be queen. A _strong_ queen to lead a strong kingdom.” These were points both of them knew, so now he was just rehashing them for the sake of dramatic exposition. He was drawing up to a point; Chad just wasn’t sure what it was, yet. “Do you have any idea who my son is dating now?”

“He isn’t dating anyone,” Chad answered – honest for once, though by the unimpressed look on King Adam’s face, he didn’t quite agree.

“He’s not?” the king asked, deceptively light. “So he hasn’t been taking you on romantic excursions?”

Chad’s heart twisted in his chest. “Those were-”

“Ah, yes,” the king mused. “ _Practice_ dates, I believe you call them.” From the mouth of the king, the idea seemed entirely farfetched and immature, small and stupid for even existing. “Clever, I’ll admit.”

Chad’s throat felt tight. “King Adam-”

“I’m not going to stop you, Chadwick.” It seemed like an olive branch but Chad knew it wasn’t, knew that kings didn’t pull aside young heirs for private meetings at three in the morning if they wanted other people to know about the contents of said meeting. “I know an inevitability when I see one.”

“But,” Chad said.

“ _But_.” The king’s gaze showed a hint of approval. “This… _infatuation_ will end.” He said it with a finality that would not be argued, and it made Chad freeze inside, made him want to shake and scream despite being very unable to move. “It is, I believe, a phase. And why shouldn’t Ben go through one? He’s young. He has his entire life ahead of him. Someone his age is entitled to a little rebellion; it’ll be good for him in the long run.” He kept his voice steady as he said all this, seeming supportive but there was warning in his tone, an overt thing he wouldn’t let Chad miss.

“Chadwick,” he began quietly. “I have nothing against what you are,” he said, as though being bisexual was a crime. No, it was just the half that was attracted to males they couldn’t stand. “None of us do. But for the purposes of practicality, well-” He sighed, as though this actually pained him, when in reality Chad was at best collateral to his son’s existence. “Sacrifices need to be made. _Both_ you and Ben have so much at stake, and while I don’t doubt your fondness for each other, well-” He grinned, attempting to be kind but coming off as vicious as the beast he once was. “It’s not like you love each other.”

Chad swallowed. Felt his body tremble despite how desperately hard he tried to stay still. “No,” he whispered. “Of course not.”

King Adam didn’t believe him, but he didn’t _need_ to believe Chad, he just needed Chad to hear him out. “You won’t be going with Ben to coronation,” he said simply. “You’ll take someone else – like that Evie girl, you seem fond of her. Yes,” he said, settling into his idea despite the fact that he must have rehearsed it long before he’d found Chad. “You’ll go with _Princess_ Evelyn and Ben can take someone like… Princess Melody. Or maybe Princess Fairuza of Agrabah, _or-_ ” He leaned forward, like this idea really excited him. “Ben and Audrey will be able to clear up that _ghastly_ misunderstanding and go together, like they were supposed to. And everything will be fine.” He paused for a moment. “Do you understand, Chadwick?”

“Yes, I…” For once, Chad had no smart comments. No wit or dull responses at his disposal, he was just… Chad. “I understand, your majesty.”

King Adam grinned. “I thought you might, Chadwick. You might not be the brightest boy, but you understand what _really_ matters.” He leaned forward carefully, as though preparing to deliver one last blow. “You two may indulge in… physical dalliances, but that’s all it will ever be, Chadwick. Do you understand? Do you understand that Ben _cannot_ love you?”

The room felt hot. Everything too close and too tight and there was a heat behind Chad’s eyes that he hadn’t indulged in for years, because it was beneath him, it was _all_ beneath him to be engaged, and why did that _fucking cookie_ have to ruin everything and make it all seem so much more detrimental than it already was.

“I understand,” Chad said quietly. The king made a motion with his hand, as though waiting for Chad to continue, and belatedly Chad realized that he wanted- he wanted Chad to elaborate. He took a steady breath. “I understand that… that Ben cannot love me.” 

“ _And?_ ” the king pressed.

Because it wasn’t enough, to crush what little was left of Chad’s heart. “And um- I can’t-” He pinched his lips together. Breathed. “I can’t love him.”

“Atta boy, Chadwick.” The king leaned forward, clapping a hand against Chad’s forearm. “I know it might seem like the end of the world now, but it will pass. You’ll both get something better, and all will be well.”

Only the king didn’t _care_ if Chad got something better, he only cared if his son was free of his infatuation. He didn’t care that Chad had kept his _son_ from poisoning himself and now felt a passion amplified to levels he could barely contain. He didn’t _care_ about the VKs or bisexuality or love – he cared about continuing his family line. And Chad couldn’t help with that.

“Thank you, your majesty.” He couldn’t stop shaking, though he did muster a smile, one the king eagerly returned as he guided Chad from the room, back down the shadowy hallways. 

Chad expected them to part ways once they got back to the main hall, but the king stayed with him all the way back to Ben’s quarters, giving him a tight smile when he bid goodnight, shepherding Chad into the large doors. He didn’t know if they locked shut behind him, only knew that he couldn’t return to the sleeping pile of humans in the bedroom. They were likely supposed to all sleep in different bedrooms but everyone had sort of congregated on Ben’s unnaturally huge bed and just stayed there, and as much as Chad longed to rejoin them, he knew he _couldn’t_. And the balcony was likely being monitored so Chad turned towards the bathroom, locking himself into its dark recesses and tucking himself into the far corner so he could swallow back tears, hating himself and the world for ever thinking he could have more with Benjamin Florian.

He’d already known it was impossible, he didn’t know why it hurt more _now_.

And yet, it persisted.

So he huddled in the dark.

-:-:-:-:-:-

“ _Chad!_ ” Frantic knocking on a far door woke Chad from his uneasy slumber, his head feeling full of cotton. “ _Dude, are you in there?_ ” It was Jay. “ _I’ve got to pee_.”

Chad cleared his throat. His eyes felt itchy and swollen and his neck hurt from the uncomfortable position he’d been sleeping in, but he pushed through it. “There are like, eighteen bathrooms,” Chad hissed, rising to his feet on shaky legs. “Use one of _those_.”

“ _I don’t know where they are_ ,” Jay shot back. “ _And… are you in the dark?_ ”

Fuck, Chad hadn’t bothered with the lights the night before.

Like he did in all other moments where panic felt immanent, he committed to his dumb persona. “Obviously,” he shot back, fumbling for the sink faucet. “I can’t _look_ at myself until I finish my routine.” He splashed water in his face, scrubbing at dried tear tracks as quickly as he could. “I can only be viewed at the height of perfection, otherwise how am I supposed to achieve the best me?”

“… _whatever, man_ ,” Jay groaned. “ _Can you just get out, already?_ ”

“Hold on.” Chad patted his face dry with a towel and then fumbled for the light switch.

What he found after the sting of light faded from his eyes wasn’t… great, but it also _didn’t_ look like he’d spent too much of last night crying, so he’d take the win he could get. Throwing his shoulders back, Chad forced his chin to a haughty tilt and exited the bathroom, trying to slink into his ‘ _charming_ ’ persona. 

It didn’t quite fit, like a hat that had been bent out of shape, but for whatever time it was, it would do.

“Okay,” he chirped when he exited the bathroom. “All yours.”

“Dude,” Jay paused, frowning at him. “This is coming from me but like, I don’t think you stayed in there long enough.”

Normally, Chad would applaud the sweet burn, but today it just- hurt. “Well, I guess I’ll go find one of those eighteen bathrooms then,” he snapped, and then quickly went to locate his bag so he could do just that. It’d be better once he could scrub away the sense of shame. Not by much, but still better.

“Dude.” Jay’s hand curled around his shoulder, the teen looking remarkably conflicted between his default apathy and the strange concept of caring, which was probably intimidating for him but Chad didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with that right now. “…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Chad didn’t sniff, because he wasn’t crying, because he was _fine_. “I um- just had trouble sleeping.”

“Yeah, I can see that much.” Jay made no effort to hide the way he stared at the bags under Chad’s eyes. “But- did something else happen?”

“What else would happen at a sleepover?” Chad asked, as though ‘being interrogated by a king’ would ever be on that list.

Jay narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know, but you usually only answer questions with questions when you’re getting all-” He made a vague hand gesture. “Squirrely.”

“I’m not _squirrely_ ,” Chad hissed. “I’m tired and need to finish my beauty routine.”

“And this doesn’t have to do with the dieting thing?” Jay asked. “Or-”

“I’m _fine_ , Jay,” Chad snapped, pulling away from the other teen.

And then they shared a look, because if Chad was actually any kind of fine he wouldn’t have done that.

He sighed. “Go pee. I just need to-” He motioned off to the distance. “And um- thanks. For your concern.”

He wandered away before Jay would have to do something like insist it wasn’t concern, and that was that was that was that. And would always be that, and-

Chad should have known better than to enter enemy territory. At least before, he could pretend.

Now he didn’t even have that.

-:-:-:-:-:-

He retreated to the far guest bathroom because he could, and by the time he’d cleaned up and applied the appropriate amount of makeup to cover his woes, he felt slightly more human. He certainly felt more like _Dumb Chad_ , where the smiles didn’t seem as strained and everything was light and easy and fun. He bounced back to Ben’s room with a spring in his step and valiantly ignored the fact that he’d walked in on what could only be described as a huddle, and based on their assessing looks, they’d been talking about _him_.

Well, of _course_ they were, he was _Chad_. Who else were they going to talk about?

“Morning, all,” he greeted with an exaggerated wave. “Do we have any fun plans for today?”

“Actually…” Ben was frowning, but Ben was always worried about _something_ so Chad didn’t let it worry him too much. “My parents asked us to join them for breakfast.”

“ _Ooh_ , Auradon Royal breakfast,” Chad cooed, bouncing in place. “Sounds fun.”

“Um.” Carlos did not seem to agree on that point. “Breakfast with two people who could ship us back to the Isle does _not_ sound like fun.”

“I won’t let them do that,” Ben rushed to say. “And nothing’s going to happen that would warrant that _anyway_.”

Great Ben, just go ahead and curse all of them, why don’t you?

Chad sighed. “Just leave most of the talking to us and we’ll be fine,” he assured them. “King Adam’s not much of a talker anyway.”

Unless he was in interrogation mode, and then King Adam was _definitely_ a talker. 

But that was neither here nor there.

“Cool,” Mal drawled. “Great. Let’s do this.”

“That’s the spirit?” Doug tried.

Chad offered him a thumbs up, because at least he was trying, and that counted. For something. Not for a lot, but for something.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Breakfast was served in an elegant dining room just off the royal gardens, with one wall devoted to floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out onto the royal greenery. 

King Adam, as was his way, sat at the head of the table with the windows behind him, making the sun gleam around him and into your eyes whenever you tried to look at him in a definite power move. Queen Belle was to his left with Ben across from her, creating a perfect picture of royal unity. Chad was fortunate enough (or strategically positioned) to sit next to Queen Belle with Jay and Evie to his left, and Mal was immediately next to Ben with Carlos and Doug beside her. All in all, it was very pretty and well-lit and awkward. 

It was a relief when _Lumière_ ushered in the servants with the first course, delicate china topped with silver covers because why not pull out all the stops when you wanted to intimidate the transfer students your son brought to your kingdom into silence? It was a very grand affair that Chad ignored in favor of studying his makeup in the reflection of his spoon, earning a stifled laugh from Queen Belle and a tight grin from Mal. 

At least, until the silver covers were removed, and it was revealed that while everyone appeared to have received some fancy sort of fruit salad for the first course, Chad had received a solitary cube of cheese.

Such a fucking power move. Chad wanted to applaud King Adam, though he had other issues to deal with. Mainly an unhappy Jay, who tensed in his seat.

Queen Belle offered a kind smile. “Your grandfather phoned about your special diet, dear,” she revealed carefully. “We do hope this helps.”

“You’re very kind, your majesty.” Of the two of them, Chad knew Queen Belle was being genuine, that her country roots and gentle spirit were what led Ben into being the person he was today. Unfortunately, despite her book smarts, it was this kind nature that King Adam could utilize like a weapon.

Jay shifted, seeming as though he were going to speak, but Chad merely squeezed his arm, moving on to take up his utensils with a flourish. Across the table, he could see Carlos do the same with Mal, Ben frowning unhappily at the entire production, but staying silent. Smart.

“So,” Queen Belle began lightly, picking up her own utensils. “How are you liking Auradon?”

“It’s very… nice,” Mal settled on, opting to be the VKs spokesperson. “Very green.”

“It’s a lot better than the Ilse,” Carlos offered, which, you know, _of course_ it was because the Ilse was a prison.

Hopefully King Adam wouldn’t take that as a passive aggressive swipe. Hopefully.

“How are your classes?” the queen asked. “Are you settling in, alright?”

“They’re… different,” Mal said. “But good. Ben, Chad, Doug, and Jane have been very helpful catching us up.”

“Carlos is in honor classes,” Chad broke in, carving off the tiniest sliver of his stupid cheese cube because he had to make this fucker last three courses. “Apparently the Ilse has no structured educational system or whatever, so it took a few weeks for him to catch up- otherwise he’d probably be in like, super honors classes by now.” If the King was going to be an ass about food after already being an ass about his son’s love life, there was no reason Chad couldn’t make a passive aggressive jab about the King’s shitty regulations. “Evie’s testing up soon too, I think.”

Which was not a thing that Evie had told him, but Chad could always feign gossiping lips for picking up his info. He _was_ very charming.

Evie blinked in surprise, though recovered smoothly. “Yes, Fairy Godmother wanted me to take advanced placement tests after testing out of chemistry, but it’s still a few weeks off.”

“Remarkable,” Queen Belle said, smiling gently. “That is an outstanding accomplishment, you two.” Her gaze drifted to Chad. “And one that could be learned from.”

“I haven’t flunked anything yet,” Chad chirped, King Adam’s lips quirking as though he desperately wanted to frown. “Coach says that Jay’s the star of our Tourney team.”

“That’s true,” Ben jumped in – _finally_. “He’s totally carrying our team to victory.”

“Sometimes literally,” Carlos muttered, prodding at his salad.

“ _Those are bananas_ ,” Chad whispered, because they’d already discovered Carlos’ appreciation for them during Doug’s ‘feeding’ practice. He watched the VK blink in recognition before happily digging in.

Queen Belle paused. “Have you encountered much new food here?”

This was- probably not the best topic.

Thankfully, Evie was the one who decided to answer her question. “The Isle mostly receives food that didn’t sell in your markets, your majesty, so we don’t often get fresh fruit.”

As in, never.

“Yeah,” Carlos said around a mouthful of bananas. “I mean, we’ve had apples and stuff, but bananas are usually black by the time we get them.”

“Good for fertilizer, though,” Evie said, ever helpful.

Carlos shrugged. “I prefer them like this.”

Chad elbowed Jay when he’d been frozen too long, close to glaring at the beautiful plate before him. 

There was a fun pause.

“Doug got nominated for president of the chess club!” Chad said cheerily, causing the other teen to blink in surprise. He’d likely thought Chad had been ignoring him when he’d gushed out that particular news. “And Ruby’s been trying to recruit Mal for the Auradon Prep Beautification project.”

“I still don’t know what that means,” Mal muttered. “What are we beautifying? Auradon Prep is already-” She made a vague motion with her hand as though to say ‘sickeningly gorgeous’.

“I think it’s mostly painting murals and stuff,” Chad explained, eating one of his tiny insubstantial slivers of cheese like the damn prince he was. “You know, leaving your mark on the school.”

“Why didn’t she just say _that_?”

“Beats me.” Chad shrugged, though it likely had to do with Ruby’s perpetually wandering attention as she set her sights on the next big project. “You gonna say yes?”

“I will… consider this,” Mal mused, which was as good as her agreeing.

At the head of the table, King Adam was delightfully tense. Probably loathed the idea of a villain kid leaving any kind of mark on his precious school. 

“So Ben,” the king rumbled eventually when the fruit salad had been replaced with a sort of egg frittata vegetable medley with a side of bacon. “I heard that you broke up with Audrey.”

“Oh, you did?” This genuinely pained Queen Belle, which meant she actually hadn’t known about it. “But I so liked her, Ben.”

“Actually, she was the one to dump me, mom,” Ben offered without apology. “And you know, I think it was a good thing. Audrey and I… we just don’t see eye-to-eye on things anymore. I want someone who understands my point of view, and who supports my plans.”

In this instance, ‘supporting his plans’ included reforming the Ilse, which King Adam seemed to prefer not to indulge.

“All relationships take work, honey,” Queen Belle soothed. “You’re not always going to agree on the same things, that’s why it’s important to thoroughly explain where you’re coming from. Eventually, she’ll come around.”

“Not on this, I don’t think.” Ben shook his head. “I’m not getting back together with Audrey. She isn’t the queen Auradon needs.”

Chad could _feel_ the shift in the air, his majesty slowly lowering his fork to the side so he could give Ben his full attention, deceptively calm. “And what kind of queen does Auradon need, Ben?”

Ben, bless him, was not prepared for the onslaught that would follow this, so he answered with complete honesty. “Someone kind,” he said. “Someone generous and welcoming. Someone… someone who has love for all of Auradon’s citizens, no matter who they are.”

What a sweet and wildly misguided summation. Poor boy had been listening to too many stories.

“That sounds like a lovely person,” Queen Belle offered, her gaze warm and fond. “If Audrey doesn’t meet that criteria, how about Princess Ruby? Or Even Fairuza, she’s so clever.”

“Or Evie,” Chad broke in, trying to pull the king’s growing ire off of Ben. “Evie’s all of those things – you should totally take her to coronation.”

Evie blinked. “What?”

“She _is_ crown princess of Hanover,” Chad continued. “And technically with the Huntsman crown ceded to Aunt Snow, Evie’s heir to that too, until such a time where someone completes the right of um- passage, right?” Which was extremely difficult and frankly it was no wonder Aunt Snow still held the Huntsman’s crown in honor of her late husband, because otherwise the damn thing was near impossible to get. “And Erebor-”

“Auradon does not acknowledge Erebor as a separate kingdom from Hanover, Chadwick,” the king said, his voice tight. “It is merely one of the city states that operate under Queen Snow White’s rule. You would know this if you studied.”

The only reason Chad knew _any_ of that was _because_ he studied, because King Adam felt like keeping such a tight leash on the records, as though the entire dwarven people’s line of royalty could be wiped out through a single misapplication of paperwork. 

“Oh.” Chad blinked dumbly. “My bad. I just thought-”

“You think too little, Chadwick,” the king murmured, unimpressed by his defense. 

“ _Dad_ ,” Ben cut in, eyebrows furrowed.

The king waved him off. “My apologies, Benjamin. I fear I allowed my tongue to run away with me, but there are certain… expectations for people with our responsibilities.” He leveled his gaze at Chad. “And it would due Prince Chadwick well to remember that.”

In his peripherals, Chad could see the way Jay’s fingers curled around his knife handle, shaking with anger, and on reflex he reached out to steady him. Squeezing his arm in reassurance without even really thinking about it.

The king scowled. “Could you control yourself for one minute, Chadwick?” he snapped, glaring at Chad’s hand. “This incessant touching-”

“That’s _enough_ ,” Queen Belle declared, pressing her hands flat against the table. “I believe you have work to attend to, my dear.”

King Adam studied her for a moment, before nodding. “Of course. My apologies, everyone.”

He got up and left the table with an unspeakable grace, brushing close enough to Chad’s chair to make him swallow a flinch, cheeks flooded with the warmth of shame because even though his reputed ‘sluttyness’ seemed to be the hot topic on the table this week, having it brought up by the _king of Auradon_ was a low blow, even for Chad.

“And my apologies too,” the queen said after her husband had left the room. “There is little excuse for such behavior, though I do beg for you lenience. Times have been… overwhelming, lately.” She paused, turning her attention to Chad, and reached to cup his cheek. “Chad, you did nothing wrong.”

“Thank you, your majesty,” Chad managed, but she kept going.

“ _And_ ,” she pressed. “There is nothing wrong with you. You are _perfect_ just the way you are.” She said it with a gentle ease that made Chad’s heart stutter, because he hadn’t received such kindness, such- motherly affection in a long time. Not since the last time he’d seen Aunt Snow, before her Auradon-wide adventure had struck.

She pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head before walking to the other side of the table, offering Ben a kiss as well. “It is very good to see you, Benjamin. No matter what happens, know that we’ll always support you, okay?”

She looked at the room at large. “And all of you- you are so marvelously brave for what you are doing, and though you have little need of it, I’d like to say that I’m proud of you, and that I think you are the hope for the Isle’s future.” She grinned. “A _splendid_ hope, at that.” 

With that, she left them, Chad shaky and blinking back tears again, the others mostly lost to silence, Ben staring forlornly at the spot his father once resided, seeming frozen in place.

“Well,” Carlos eventually muttered. “That could have probably gone worse.”

-:-:-:-:-:-

“What the _fuck_?” Mal snapped when they got back to Ben’s room. “What does your dad have against Chad?”

That list was- far too long to mention.

“It’s fine,” Chad huffed, feeling exhausted, wrung out, and hungry, a headache already pounding at his temples, promising little good for the future. “We do this song and dance every once and awhile. You’ll be shocked to know that I am considered a _bad influence_ on Ben.”

“Yeah,” Carlos huffed. “But he like- hates you more than us. And _we’re_ villain kids.”

“But in the big picture, we’re nothing,” Evie said, settling on the couch in the lounge area. “Aside from myself, we hold no real power here. Chad does.”

“Still.” Carlos was frowning. “That’s no excuse for any of… that.”

“That’s _plenty_ excuse for that, darling,” Chad drawled, flopping down on a loveseat. He grumbled when Jay shoved himself in half a second later, but relaxed when the teen wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting him cuddle into his side. “He’s the king; he does what he thinks needs to be done. That’s what kings do.”

“Does _your_ father do that kind of stuff?” Doug asked, knowing full well that Chad’s father didn’t interact with him if he didn’t have to. Chad was a constant reminder of what he had lost, every inch his mother’s son, and his mother was dead.

Dumb Chad waved him off. “Of course. That’s what ruling is.” He was about to spout off on some other nonsense about _duty_ or whatever when Jay held up a slightly mushed croissant, still emanating warmth.

“Snagged this for you,” he muttered, consciously averting his eyes, and Chad did not give a shit about decorum, he fell on that treat with relish.

“Oh, fuck yes,” Chad hissed, taking a slow bite of it. “Thanks.”

“And _that_!” Mal continued. “What the fuck, Ben?!”

“I know!” the prince threw his arms up. “I know, okay? I don’t know what got into him.”

“I’d forgotten how much he didn’t like me,” Chad sniffed around mouthfuls of buttery goodness. “Though that explains why I haven’t visited in a while.” 

“Did he do shit like this _then_ , too?” Mal asked.

Chad shrugged. “The royal way of weening someone out of your life is just to be passive aggressive enough until they get out themselves. He couldn’t just tell me to fuck off so-” He waved a hand. “He got creative.”

“ _Chad_ ,” Ben looked pained to say this, as though he had never really deduced why Chad had stopped coming to his home. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Chad gave him an incredulous look. “Because I’m stupid, but I’m not _that_ stupid. That was the _nice_ way of dealing with things. There were… other options.”

“Is that what he said before you locked yourself in the bathroom?” Jay asked, rubbing small circles on Chad’s shoulder.

“No.” Chad shook his head. “That was more of a-” He cut himself off when his exhausted brain decided to catch up with his mouth, realizing what he’d said.

“What?” Jay asked. “It was more of a _what_?”

“Chad…” Ben approached them carefully. “Did my dad talk to you alone?”

“Last night,” Jay clarified. “You were gone for a while.”

“How would you know?” Chad muttered. “You were _asleep_.”

“You didn’t come back,” Evie spoke up. “We noticed that.”

Chad forced a shrug. “I went to get some milk and he was up late working, we talked then.”

“It was like, two in the morning,” Carlos muttered.

“Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor,” Chad replied, remembering one of his mother’s old adages. “Look, it’s not a big deal.”

“You say that about a lot of stuff.”

“And you spent all night crying in the bathroom,” Jay added.

Chad rolled his eyes. “It was not _all_ night-”

“But you were crying?” Mal asked.

“Little, baby tears,” Chad huffed. “I’m only _human_ , okay? I have limits. And feelings.”

“What’d my dad say?” Ben was insistent on this because Ben could bear no injustice in the world, which was going to be really unfortunate the first time something horrible befell him. “Chad-”

“Just that I’m a bad influence and I need to stop distracting you from what _‘really matters’_.” He tried to emulate the king’s rumble for comedic effect, but nobody laughed. “Guys, it’s fine.”

“It’s not _fine_ ,” Mal snapped. “It’s not fine for people not to give you food, or to call you dumb, or a slut. None of those things are _fine_ and just because you’re used to them doesn’t make them _okay_.”

Chad blinked, because he didn’t know what to do, could only hold on to a half-finished pastry and his exhaustion because Mal wasn’t supposed to care about him. Granted, the goal was to get her to care about _something_ , it just wasn’t supposed to be _Chad_.

“ _Gah!_ ” Mal declared with a huff before stalking away, snatching up her sketchpad before exiting out onto the balcony, likely going to draw her anger away. There was a beat, and then Carlos followed after her.

“Chad,” Ben began quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

“None of this was your fault.” And Chad wouldn’t let him think that for a second. “Let the blame lie with the guilty, Ben. And that’s not you.”

“Yeah,” Evie said. “But it’s not _you_ , either.”

On that, they would have to agree to disagree.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Chad must have… passed out at some point, because when he woke up again they were back on their way to Auradon Prep. He was curled into Jay’s chest, Ben’s jacket splayed over him like a blanket, and he was both too tired and too _spent_ to fathom what had happened to land them all here.

“ _Shh_ ,” Evie hushed when he tried to clear his throat. She was petting his hair. “Go back to sleep, Chad.”

It was an order he was too eager to take, so he surrendered without fighting it, everyone seeming present, accounted for, and relatively undamaged.

He slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys! Next week I'll be posting the finale to this story along with the deleted scenes. I will also be posting the first chapter of the sequel, which I promise is even dumber than this story, as far as soap opera angst goes ;D
> 
> Thanks to everyone for your feedback!! I love reading your comments and seeing everyone who kudo-ed, bookmarked, and subscribed to the story. Thanks for sticking around for this nonsense! I'm glad you like it ^_^
> 
> Story Notes:
> 
> Real talk, I don’t know if hermit crabs inhabit France, the country Auradon is based on, but for the sake of this story they do, because I thought it would be a fun thing for the VKs to explore. 
> 
> I also don’t hate King Adam, for the record, he just fell into the unfortunate category of necessary antagonist for this story, along with Audrey and the Duke. 
> 
> So in real world terms, the Limbo is technically from Trinidad – for which there is no Disney equivalent that I know of, so I went with Avalor, which has inspirations from Mexico/Spain and is close to Trinidad.
> 
> In this particular instance, the four kingdoms in reference are Ben’s Auradon, the central kingdom as opposed to the union of kingdoms, and Audrey’s three – Auroria, Ulstead, and the Moors, which were ceded from Maleficent to Princess Aurora I think? I’m just committing to that for the sake of the story. And then they’d have the United Kingdoms of Auradon to rule as well. 
> 
> Ruby is Queen Rapunzel and King Eugene’s daughter, the heir to Corona. 
> 
> Erebor was totally stolen from The Hobbit to symbolize a dwarf kingdom, because they deserve their own representation too. 
> 
> ‘Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor’ is a direct quote from the musical Into the Woods, it is said by Cinderella’s mother, whose ghost-form acts as her Fairy Godmother. 
> 
> Until next time :)


	8. The Happiest of Endings

Everything was tottering along as well as it could be and then Parent Day happened.

In hindsight, Chad shouldn’t have wasted twenty minutes on the phone trying to get through a system of secretaries in an attempt to contact his dad instead of guarding the VKs because it was _in_ that twenty minutes that Audrey managed to slip past Jane and very publicly lay into the Isle kids, who committed no crimes aside from existing. 

By the time Chad made it onto the scene, Mal and her crew had already left and Chad was stuck playing damage control because Evie had _potioned_ Audrey with some kind of aerosol thing and most people would consider assault (even if it was sort of justified). When Chad finally managed to sweet talk Queen Leah into believing that it would be a strike against _Audrey’s_ character to press charges against Evie, too much time had already passed and Aziz had signaled for them to regroup in Jane and Lonnie’s room.

The conversation he had recorded from his position under Mal’s cracked window was not a pleasant one, though it eventually came down to this:

“ _I don’t know what we were thinking_ ,” Mal snapped, her volume drifting consistently up and down, meaning she must be pacing the room. “ _So there are like, five good people in Auradon. The rest hate us_.”

“ _So now what?_ ” That was Carlos, sounding small and shaken and likely tucked in a corner somewhere.

“ _They’ll gut us the moment they get the chance_.” Mal seemed determined on that front. “ _So we don’t give them one_.”

“ _New plan_?” Jay asked.

“ _New plan_ ,” Mal confirmed. Then, _“Evie, shut the window – we’ve got work to do_.”

“Shit,” Chad muttered when the recording cut off, Aziz likely scrambling away before Evie could spot him.

“Yeah,” Lonnie agreed. “That pretty much sums it up.”

Aziz frowned, tucking the recorder away. “So… we keep our eyes open?”

“It’s all we can do,” Chad sighed.

And unfortunately, that was true.

-:-:-:-:-:-

When Evie asked him on a walk the following day, Chad was alert enough to keep his guard up, though he hoped for the best.

“So,” Evie began casually, tugging him through the woods on their scenic journey through the rarely-explored outer grounds of Auradon Prep. “Ben’s cute.”

Chad did not trip because princes did not trip but he may have slightly stumbled at that wasn’t the same thing. “Um- I mean. If you’re being general about it, sure. Like, common consensus, the world would agree.”

He had expected a subtle ploy to test his loyalties, not Evie waxing romantic about the guy Chad hadn’t seen in a few days.

A few days, and it felt like months, his heart aching with every moment, and Chad hated that, hated it beyond compare, but there was nothing to _do_ for it. He had to stay away from Ben, for both their sakes.

“Right?” Evie laughed, a melodic, easy thing. “His eyes are such a pretty color, don’t you think?” She walked forward in measured steps, her skirt swaying with each shift of her hips. “The way they light up when the sun catches them at just the right angle. It’s like- he can’t even be real.” She lifted one perfectly manicured nail up and pressed against Chad’s chest, nudging him backwards until he hit a tree. “What do you think, Chad?” she asked, stepping into his space until they were chest-to-chest, that delicate finger reaching up to graze the side of his face. “Don’t you just _love_ his eyes?”

Chad should really try to side-step his way out of this but his stupid not-magicked heart was pounding furiously after her descriptions because his equally stupid imagination couldn’t stop running through them, and it made his body feel all hot and disconnected and clumsy all at once. 

He _should_ leave, but he didn’t want to, because Evie was still talking about Ben, and he _missed_ him.

“And he’s so tall,” she said, urging Chad back against the tree with a sort of ease that shouldn’t be manageable in those heels. “He’d be able to press you against this tree so easily, wouldn’t he? And he’d smile.” She offered him a charming grin of her own, and something in Chad’s chest flipped because Ben’s smile would be just as warm if a little higher. “He’d smile at you like you were the most important thing in the world, wouldn’t he? He’d set his hands on your hips-” She mimicked the movement easily, clutching at Chad’s hips like she owned them. “And just-”

She leaned forward like she was going to kiss him, and Chad didn’t even mind because his body was electrified with a stupid kind of want because Ben _wasn’t here_ and Ben _wouldn’t be here_ but Evie was very nice and very pretty and knew how to work Chad into a pile of mush with barely any effort.

She had to know, he realized when she ducked her head at the last second, nuzzling against Chad’s neck instead. She knew that the potion _had_ affected him, even if she didn’t know the full extent, and now she was using it to her advantage. Was _that_ part of the new plan? How did that get them to Ben?

“Evie-” he tried, voice coming out weak and breathless.

“It’s Ben,” she corrected, doting his neck with warm sucks and kisses that made Chad tremble. “It’s Ben who you want, isn’t it?” She stepped forward, angling her thigh between Chad’s trembling legs, urging his hips forward when she continued kissing his neck. “Ben who you wish was crowding you against this tree.”

“ _Evie_ ,” he gasped, heat pooling between his legs at an alarming rate. “You- you don’t have to- be someone else to-” He felt flustered and shaken but to hell with games, maybe she just needed someone to be _real_ with her. “You’re great, as you are. You don’t need to be anyone else.”

She paused, lipstick not even slightly smudged, and really looked at him. “You’re actually sweet, aren’t you?”

She said it like it was a discovery, and Chad flushed.

“Lies and slander,” he hissed, shaking his head.

But she was already laughing. “You’re right, sorry.” She leaned forward beginning to suck at the sensitive juncture between his jaw and ear. “You are obviously _rotten to the core_.”

Chad shivered. Was this what he and Aziz had been doing wrong this entire time? They just needed the right kind of bedroom talk, _apparently_.

“Is that why-” She said between kisses, when Chad had given up and allowed his head to fall back with a broken moan. “You had me do your homework?”

“Sorry,” he muttered, because he _did_ actually feel bad about that. “I just- needed-”

“It was a test,” she surmised, because she was always smarter than she let on. “A safety precaution. I was an unknown. You were getting a feel for the land.”

“Y-yes.” He could level with her that much, she _had_ earned it. 

“You should know,” she began, her voice dark and possessive and every part of Chad that screamed some kind of survival instinct _also_ loved it. “I wanted you, Chad. I _always_ wanted you.”

“Wanted my kingdom,” he corrected, since they were being honest.

“Perhaps,” she gave him that much, then bit down with a vindictive suck that made Chad whimper. “But then I realized what a clever boy you were, hiding behind that smile. And that-” She dragged his hips hard against her thigh. “Made me _want_ you.”

“F-fuck.” Chad’s entire body was trembling under a level of attention he had never really received. “You would- um, be better o-off with Doug.”

_So_ many people would be better off with Doug, it honestly wasn’t fair, but Doug was the one who was making mooneyes at Evie, so maybe Chad could be a bro despite the fact that they were only barely friends.

Evie’s eyes flashed with a dangerous hunger. “Who says I can’t have both?”

Chad- moaned. _Loudly_.

“Oh?” She was coy and teasing and _wonderful_. “You like that idea, don’t you?”

“ _Evie_.” It was a whimper that Chad would deny until the day he died. “We can’t- we don’t do that here.”

“Who says?” She was claiming him, biting and nipping marks all over his neck but Chad didn’t care because she was so totally dominating him. “You’re a prince. I’m a princess. If Ben has a problem with it, he can discuss it with us himself.” She gave his neck a particularly hard _suck_. “Discuss it just like this. You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

Chad didn’t even manage a reply, simply tilted his hips forward and knew his blush answered for him.

“That’s what you get, for taking snacks that don’t belong to you,” she drawled, tugging at his hair and _fuck_ , he really liked that. Knew he was done for when she did it again. “Another security concern?”

“J-Just because Ben doesn’t have survival instincts d-doesn’t mean I don’t.”

“On his behalf?” Evie challenged, scratching her fingers hard against his scalp and analyzing the way it made Chad shudder. “Sounds awful _loving_ of you.”

“ _Stop_ ,” Chad groaned, wanting to hide his face. “I get it, you found me out.”

“Frustrating boy.” She began undoing the top few buttons of his shirt so she could have access to his shoulder. “Accidentally foiling our plans.”

“I-I respect them, you know,” he gasped when she started lapping at the curve of his neck and shoulder. “H-having plans in place to ensure your survival, but uh- gotta protect the king, you know- _shit_.” She was biting again and he loved it. “ _Fuck_. Um- this is, really one-sided. Do you want me to…” He felt like such a douche for waiting to ask until now, but his head was spinning, so-

Evie laughed at him. “I’m having a good time being in charge,” she allowed with a wink. “But thanks for asking.”

“Okay,” he said, somewhat dazed. “Good. I um- I’m having a good time _not_ being in charge.” 

“Are you?” Evie’s smile bordered on vicious and Chad sort of loved it. She yanked at his hair, _hard_ , and he whimpered. “So,” she began, undoing more of his buttons and Chad should- care about that, but her fingers kept tracing harmless patterns on his stomach and her presence was just- a lot. “You respect us?”

“Y-yeah,” he breathed when she began sucking at his collar bone, one of her hands lazily drifting upwards to splay against his left pectoral. “You came to a place that you know nothing about. A place that is actively prejudiced a-against you for s-stupid reasons.” She rewarded his statement by tweaking his nipple, a thing Chad did not know he ever wanted done until that very second. “A-and you’re- succeeding. Showing them that-” She was pinching and pulling now, intermixing with scratches that were making it very hard to think. “Y-you _are_ the future and if- if things keep going well then m-maybe we can get more kids off the Isle. Get- get them all off.”

Evie froze, pulling back until she could stare Chad in the eye, until the only point of contact was those claiming hands on his hips and the thigh between his legs, giving them both a moment to _breathe_.

“You want to get the kids off the Isle?” she asked, voice… uncertain? Smaller than before, less in control. She hadn’t been expecting it.

“Of course,” Chad said. “A lot of us do. It makes no sense for them to be there in the first place.”

Evie stared at him a moment, eyes huge and shining, and then she was dragging him down into a kiss, messy and heated but very, _very_ determined. It was an all-encompassing need that Chad had only ever dreamt of, and he found himself returning it with a gusto, bracing his hands on her hips while she cradled his face between her hands, positioning his head for the best possible angle. 

It was sort of terrifying and not at all elegant but it felt _right_ , and that was a terror in itself but Chad couldn’t dwell on it because Evie had found him out and she wanted- wanted _him_. For whatever reason. Genuinely wanted him.

“…Guys?”

Chad would have thought he’d hallucinated the voice if it wasn’t out of his worst nightmare. He pulled away from Evie to check, hoping he was wrong, and found Ben standing at the curve of the path, staring at them with a flushed expression on his face.

It was a flush that darkened when he saw he had their attention. “S-sorry, but um- usually we don’t- Mal and I will just go-”

Because Mal was there, standing right beside them, looking like the cat that caught the canary because this was the- the plan. Oh. This had all been part of a plan-

“Wait!” It was Evie that spoke up, Evie that huddled protectively over Chad, making Mal’s thin brows furrow in confusion. “Ben, you’re here! We need your help.”

“…what?” Chad managed, but he was ignored, Evie focusing on Ben’s hopelessly embarrassed confusion.

“Um.” Ben looked back the way he came, then to Mal who was equally lost. “What?”

“ _Mal_ ,” Evie pressed sweetly, eyes fluttering with a sort of insistence that wasn’t really a request. “Bring Ben over _here_.”

“We um- don’t have to do this,” Chad murmured, because he was fine with just- having his heart crushed. It had been inevitable anyway. He should probably be thanking her.

“ _Um_ ,” Ben said louder, but Mal trusted Evie so she grabbed his wrist and started dragging, even when Ben’s flush spread across his nose. “We usually leave couples alone for this kind of stuff.”

“Well that’s dumb,” Mal declared with her usual blunt authority that Chad both admired and despaired for. “Damn, Evie. You didn’t have to _eat_ him.”

Chad probably imagined the pretty blush that dusted Evie’s cheeks. “He likes it,” she said easily, and at Chad’s pained whimper she said, “We would have the same conversation without you here.”

“Fair,” he managed, trying to look- anywhere but Ben. “Then, by all means.”

“Huh.” Mal narrowed her eyes at him, _really_ inspecting him. 

Evie took this opportunity to move forward. “Ben, could you be a dear and get behind Chad?”

“What.” It was a distracted question, Ben’s gaze seeming to fixate on the mess Evie had made of Chad’s neck and shoulders. “Um- I don’t think-”

“The tree is just- so not comfortable,” she explained, pulling Chad away from the rough bark that he had, in all honesty, forgotten. “Just-” She motioned at the space behind Chad.

It was Mal that ended up nudging Ben into position, the prince _still_ flushing horribly, and then Evie was pushing Chad back against Ben’s chest and why couldn’t he die now, dying now would be _fine_.

“Um!” He could picture Ben’s blush, but Evie simply guided Ben’s hands to Chad’s hips, and this was- this was actually torture. 

“Thanks, Ben!” Evie chirped. “You know, Chad was just talking about the Isle kids.”

“He was, was he?” Mal murmured with an unimpressed look, her gaze narrowing when Evie slid back close, hands splaying across Chad’s chest until raking down it in large scratches. “What he have to say?”

“Just-” Chad gasped, because Evie was actually trying to kill him, aggressively pulling at Chad’s nipples in a way that made him shudder and Ben seem to tense ever so slightly. “T-that their inclusion in the banishment s-seemed like a commitment to complacency and b-bad policy and-” She bit down on his shoulder again. “ _Fuck_.”

“Keep going, Chad,” Mal ordered, drawing closer. She began to toy with the sensitive skin just about his waistband, curling her hand into claws to drag vicious marks across it and making his stomach tremble.

“W-we should focus more on reformation instead of- just- throwing the problem o-out of sight,” he gasped, because Evie’s mouth was shifting lower on his pectorals, biting into his muscle and he didn’t even care.

“Pull his hair, Mal,” Evie murmured against his skin. “He likes that.”

“And he deserves it, doesn’t he?” Mal asked, taking her time to twist pale locks between her fingers before _yanking_. 

Chad’s head fell back into Ben’s shoulder – Ben, who was still holding him up, a warm blush spread across his face as he looked on the exchange in- wonder? Chad didn’t know.

“ _You_ ,” Mal continued, dragging her nails against Chad’s scalp until he was a shuddering mess. “Are a lot smarter than you let on.”

“K-kind of the- point,” he hissed. “You get more done when- n-no one expects-” He cut off in a whimper when Mal started biting his neck, sharp teeth making him feel overheated and blissful. “C-can I- help anyone else? I kind of- feel like a tool as the only one being-” He shuddered again.

When Mal looked up at him, there was an open hunger in his eyes. “You just want to be helpful, don’t you?” she teased, the words making a horrible heat pulse between his legs, making Chad whine. “No, sweetheart, this is all about you. We’re getting everything we need right here.” She tugged at his hair carefully, though her gaze shifted to her best friend. “Good call, Evie.”

“I thought so,” the young princess preened, pinching and pulling at the skin of his abdomen.

“Should you-?” Ben spoke up; trailing off in what must have been embarrassment before pushing forward. “That looks like it hurts.”

“You should sooth him,” Evie offered, taking one of Ben’s hands and pressing it flat against Chad’s stomach. She started moving it in small circles, as though to urge the pain away. “Like that.”

“O-okay.” Ben moved his hand carefully and Chad was- shaking, couldn’t stop because Ben was _touching_ him, trying to rub the red marks away. “Is he alright?”

“Trust me,” Mal drawled. “He’s great. Keep going.”

“Use both hands,” Evie offered, and then the prince did just that, rubbing random patterns that burned like lightning for all their gentle intention, caresses with firm pressure and it was nothing- nothing like Mal and Evie’s rough handling but it made tears burn at the corner of Chad’s eyes with how _good_ it was.

“Do you like that, sweetie?” Mal cooed in his ear, biting at his lobe before moving down to attack his jaw. “Do you like Ben’s hands on you?”

Chad nodded, trying to ignore the way Ben’s hand stuttered on his abdomen before they kept moving. “Y-yes.”

“Would you like him to go higher?” Mal asked over Ben’s gasp. “Or _lower_?”

“ _Mal_ ,” Chad whined, shifting restlessly under her laughter. “D-don’t-”

“I can do both,” Ben offered in a breathless murmured that shattered Chad to his core. He felt his eyes go wide, staring at Ben like was an alien creature, but the prince seemed determined. “Here.”

One hand shifted upward in a light caress that left Chad gasping, Ben taking his time to trace the dip under his pectorals before settling on Chad’s nipple. He soothed the abused nub with careful motions that drove Chad crazy, though it was still difficult to process that _Ben was touching him_ , Ben had his hands on him and the other was-

He undid the button on Chad’s jeans like it was the most natural thing in the world, guiding his zipper down until he could slide his hand _into_ Chad’s pants-

Mal wolf whistled. “That’s it, tiger. Go get ‘em.”

Ben _squeezed_ him through the thin material of his underwear and Chad was almost done, it took so very little for him to fall apart but Ben guided him through it the entire way, Mal and Evie murmuring soft words of praise until it was finally over, until all of them where sitting on the ground, Chad between Ben’s legs and the girls curling into each of their sides.

“W-what?” Chad asked when Ben slowly withdrew his hands, mind dazed and world dazed because _what was that_. “Ben-”

“He might like you too,” Evie offered, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “Idiot.”

Chad paused. “ _What?_ ”

-:-:-:-:-:-

So Chad may have missed a few cues.

Whatever, all he had to do was keep this away from Aziz and Lonnie and everything would be fine. For the most part.

Look, they didn’t need to know details.

He wasn’t sure how it happened but he found himself curled up on a bed in Jay and Carlos’ room, Mal pressed against his back and Ben pressed against his front and Evie taking a celebratory bath because she frankly deserved it and Chad couldn’t disagree but also-

“ _What_ ,” he repeated for what may have been the fifth time.

“He likes you, dipshit,” Mal muttered, though there was an odd sort of warmth in her voice. “He wants to have your babies.”

Ben flushed. It was a very nice flush. “I wouldn’t put it that way but um… yes, Chad. I do like you.” That flush darkened. “A lot.”

“You’re ours, now,” Mal decided, wrapping herself around his back like some kind of baby koala. “I have decided.”

“Mal.” Ben let out an awkward laugh. “This was um… sort of our first date, so…”

“ _Practice_ date,” Mal muttered, and Chad could actually _hear_ her roll her eyes.

“Can we just call them regular dates?” Chad asked. "That’s what they are. That is all they ever were.”

“Yeah well,” Ben shifted sort of nervously. “I didn’t think you’d go on an _actual_ date with me.”

“Cuz he’s stupid,” Mal grumbled. “And could not tell you also wanted his babies. Now-” She waved a finger at Ben. “-ask that thing you’ve been wanting to ask him.”

“Um.” This close, Chad could catalogue the way Ben’s blush spread down his neck. “Chad. About what you said earlier, with the… ‘bad policies’?”

“What?” Chad was floating in a haze of confusion and relief and mild concern for what seemed to be unending happiness.

“Do you…” Ben frowned. “Do you think the Isle needs to be reformed?”

“Without question.” That was something Chad could answer even in his sleep. “It was an ill-thought out reactionary response with poor controls that we allowed to fester into a violation of many basic civil liberties and-” He shook his head. “Jane and I already have a mess of proposals for you to look at after you’ve been coronated. You should have enough of a majority to start pushing changes through, though it may make your positive ratings dip initially. We also have plans for how to handle that.” He yawned. “Jane is kicks ass with paperwork, don’t worry about it.”

“You did… you did all of this for them?” Ben asked, like it was some kind of amazing thing.

Chad frowned. “The Isle might technically be part of Auradon, but it’s also part of Sardinia. It’s part of Agrabah and the Imperial City and Arendelle too. It’s my duty to protect Sardinia and _all_ of its people, especially those being unjustly confined.” 

“And what?” Ben pressed. “What were you going to do with these plans before? Sneak them across my desk?”

Chad shrugged. “It’s been working so far.”

_That_ , made Ben quiet.

Chad yawned again. “Are we going to keep talking or do we get to cuddle?”

“Cuddle, you beautiful freak,” Mal muttered, pressing a kiss against his shoulder. “You crazy little monster. I can’t believe I ever thought you were stupid.” She hugged him closer. “Stupid with _love_ , maybe.”

“ _Mal_ ,” Chad whined, trying to bury his head in Ben’s chest only to be intercepted by a stupid royal hand.

“Chad,” Ben said quietly, as though Chad deserved his reverence. “Do you-?”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Chad offered, hoping Ben would latch onto that, but instead his gaze was all warm and a little bit wet and he was smiling that dumb schmuck of a smile-

“ _Chad_.” It was said like a promise, and then Ben was capturing his lips and he was kissing _Ben_ and his brain was exploding.

Ben was kissing him. Ben was kissing him with the intensity of someone who _actively_ wanted to be kissing Chad, done not out of pity but legitimate desire, like he was afraid Chad would vanish into thin air if he didn’t show his appreciation well enough, and Chad didn’t even care about the high pitched whimper that spilled from his throat because _Ben was kissing him_. Fuck. That wasn’t even fair. Mr. Goody-two-shoes had been dating Audrey _forever_ , how was Chad supposed to know the other teen liked guys?

“I do, um- want to have your babies.” Ben flushed between kisses, Mal giggling behind Chad’s back. “It was awful. Audrey just thought I was infatuated with your looks and you kept um-” Being ditzy and not reliable or anything like he’d been as a kid. “I knew you were good. I _knew_ it. Why did you have to- never mind, just don’t- go now.”

“Okay,” Chad said, but then Ben was kissing him again so it was hard to respond. Not that Chad really cared. 

Ben was making a dedicated effort to suck Chad’s bottom lip into his mouth when they were interrupted, a bland sort of drawl crashing over them like a bucket of water. “Why are Ben and Chad making out on my bed?”

Both of them flushed and turned to find Jay posing at the foot of said bed, bag of Tourney gear abandoned to the side as he stared at the scene in a mixture of confusion and amusement.

“Evie and I decided to claim them,” Mal explained, running a hand through Chad’s hair. “They’re ours now.”

“We should actually talk about this,” Ben said, trying to get a handle on the situation. “Establish ground rules so that everyone is-”

“Chad?” Jay asked, staring at Mal in disbelief. “He can’t be _that_ good at kissing.”

“You have _kissed_ him before,” Mal defended, despite the fact that they hadn’t owned up to the Jay-pretending-to-be-Ben thing yet. “And you dare doubt our judgement?” She cuddled closer to Chad’s back. “Now I’m not feeling as inclined to share.”

“I don’t think that’s a big loss for him,” Chad muttered, because Jay was all _‘fuck that Chad guy’_ but not like ‘ ** _fuck_** _that Chad guy’_. Like, he enjoyed bossing Chad around and the occasional grope but he didn’t want like, a _commitment_. “I mean, I know he’s jonesing for Ben-” 

“What?” Ben asked, but Jay was too busy flushing to try to deny it.

“-but realistically-”

“Okay.” Jay scowled, climbing onto the bed until he boxed Chad in, making Mal and Ben scatter to the side. “Mr. _Smart guy-_ ”

“You are such a tool.” Chad rolled his eyes, shifting onto his back so Jay could properly loom over him. “Just kiss Ben. He’s _right_ there-”

“ _What?_ ” Ben repeated. “Did- how many of you had crushes on me?”

“Maybe I don’t want to kiss Ben,” Jay challenged with all the airs of someone who really wanted to kiss Ben. “Maybe I want to kiss _you_ , I mean-” He thumbed at Chad’s throat, which was sort of a mess of bruises and a few traces of lipstick Chad hadn’t been able to clean away. “What the hell, Mal? You can’t just- on my _bed_.”

“It was in the woods, _excuse you_ ,” Mal drawled with a roll of her eyes. “And I can and will do whatever I want, _wherever_ I want.”

“ _Damn_ ,” Jay breathed, nuzzling Chad’s neck before moving to undo his shirt.

“Um-” This was- not going where Chad had expected it to go. “Ben is literally right- _Jay_.”

“That’s it,” the teen murmured against his neck, sucking a fresh mark like a challenge. “Keep saying my name.”

“Um, he is right- _ah_ -” Chad groaned when he felt Jay move to undo the rest of his buttons, deft fingers pushing his shirt wide and looking at the revealed skin with an appreciative _growl_.

“Mercy,” Jay muttered, brushing against the bite marks Evie had left on his pectoral before dipping lower, kissing Chad’s stomach. “The hell, Mal. On _my_ bed.”

“A present,” Mal chirped, sounding beyond pleased when Jay began sucking harsh marks into the curve of Chad’s waist. “Say his name, Chad.”

“What?” Chad was mostly just confused. “Jay. Jay, I know you like-”

“He likes you too, _dingus_ ,” Mal sighed. “He likes both of you because you are both hot and Ben is nice and you are apparently secretly crafty.”

“He’s the only guy who consistently covers Carlos in Tourney practice besides Ben and Aziz,” Jay murmured into the sensitive skin of his side. “Been wanting to do this since you shoulder checked that one guy so hard he fell over.”

“He was- focusing on the wrong- things,” Chad gasped, because prejudice was hard to fight but _damn_ did Carlos commit no crime besides being present. “ _Jay_.”

“You put him in my clothes,” the ex-thief mumbled, tugging at the waist of the borrowed sweatpants Mal had raided from Jay’s dresser. They were thin and faded and very comfortable and Jay’s hands felt like brands through them. Chad’s heart stuttered in his chest when Jay casually pulled down the left side of the pants to bare his hip, Jay tracing the skin appreciatively. “And he’s _commando_ ,” he growled, lapping at that exposed skin. “You are _trying_ to torture me.”

“Or do something nice,” Mal sniffed. “You seem to be enjoying it.”

“After you let Evie all over him,” Jay grumbled, sucking and biting down hard. His hands had shifted to cup Chad’s rear, not that he really minded because Jay was just so- strong, massaging him and angling Chad so he could have the best access. 

“You knew the plan.”

“Um- what plan?” Ben asked, seeming to blink out of his haze, though his eyes were still notably shifting between Chad’s heaving chest and where Jay was marking Chad’s hip.

“The- ‘Get you over Chad’, plan,” Mal muttered. “But then we claimed Chad, so that was no longer necessary.”

“Could have gone with my version of the plan,” Jay said, bringing one of his hands back to press hard against Chad’s groin, smirking at Chad’s whimpered reaction.

“For the last time,” Mal huffed. “Ben catching you giving Chad a blowjob in the locker room would _not_ have been as effective.”

“ _What?_ ” Ben’s voice cracked, and Chad would have spent more time being touched by the amount of volunteers they had in this scheme if Jay’s palm hadn’t been grinding down particularly hard.

“And we didn’t even know if he’d be open to it,” Mal continued, like they’d had this argument many times before. “Though to be fair, I also wasn’t sure it would work out with Evie.” She scratched her fingers through Chad’s hair. “You are very hard to read.”

“Or, just _hard_ ,” Jay said with a wink, giving Chad a meaningful squeeze.

“Guys,” Ben groaned, like it was him being tortured. “We can’t just- keep sneaking around like this.”

“ _Y-you_ can’t,” Chad groaned when Jay began to move his hand with more fervor. “But you can’t expect us to- c-completely abandon strategies that have proven to be- successful-”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jay groaned, burying his face in Chad’s stomach. “I can’t decide if that’s frustrating or sexy.”

“Why can’t it be both?” Mal asked, and that time, Chad _heard_ the door open.

“Huh.” Carlos seemed to take the change better than Jay had, which was… something. “So are they both ours, or did Jay just give up and drag Chad into bed?”

“I didn’t even-” Chad’s hips shifted reflexively into Jay’s broad hand. “-know he- _liked_ me-”

“Dude.” That was judgement, and it wasn’t even at the fact that Chad and Jay were doing um- things right in front of him. “He flirted with you all the time.”

“Jay flirts with _everyone_ ,” Chad hissed, somehow managing to hear Lonnie’s laugh echoing in his head.

“Yeah,” Carlos allowed with a shrug, crawling onto the bed between Ben and Chad. “But he doesn’t do _this_ with everyone.”

“He _really_ wanted to do that plan, Ben,” Mal drawled, combing her fingers through Jay’s hair. “You don’t even know. He dreamed of you asking to join them. Of asking Jay if you could use his mouth too.”

“ _Mal_.” Jay flushed, and even Carlos was beginning to look interested, turning to watch Ben’s response with half-lidded eyes.

“He wanted to see how feisty you’d get over Jay desecrating him,” Mal explained. “Wanted to know if you’d _punish_ him.”

“Can’t-” Chad shook his head, hand fumbling for Jay’s head. “You can’t- wouldn’t desecrate _anything_ , Jay-”

“Fuck,” Jay muttered. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“Have to,” Chad pressed. “Because it’s true.”

There was a frustrated growl, and then Jay lunged, dragging the sweatpants down Chad’s thighs and putting his mouth-

_Fuck_. It was- not like anything Chad had experienced before, and he and Aziz had given it the old college try, though their failures likely had to do with the fact that they interacted through necessity and one-upmanship and not much else. Sort of made practicing intimate relations a travesty of insults and excuses with occasional bliss.

“Jay.” Chad flushed, mouth falling open in needy gasps. “Jay, Jay, _Jay_ , I’m gonna-”

“It’s okay,” Mal murmured, carding fingers through his hair carefully, gentle nudges that made Chad want to shake apart. “Just let go. You earned it.”

“B-but-” Chad felt the hand he had clenching in the sheets beside him get covered by Carlos’ hand, looked up to find Ben’s heated gaze, the prince reaching over to join Mal in her reassurance.

“It’s okay, Chad,” Ben said quietly. “It’s okay. Let Jay know how much you appreciate him, alright? You’re beautiful.”

“ _Jay_ ,” Chad groaned, squeezing his eyes shut under the overwhelming swell of comfort. “Jay, Jay, Jay, _Jay!_ ”

He fell apart, but Jay was there to catch him, to guide him through his inevitable release until Chad could only give weak croons, chest heaving as he splayed back against the mattress. 

Jay made no effort to pull the sweatpants back up when he was finished, too busy trying to catch his breath again, so Carlos did it for him, much to Mal’s chagrin.

“I see you have been busy,” Evie noted when she came back into the room wearing her fancy blue nightgown and matching robe – looking like a goddess. She crawled on the bed behind Mal. “By the way, we’re also claiming Doug.”

Chad groaned. She was actually trying to kill him.

“Figures,” Jay grumbled, flopping against the bed. “That guy’s been chasing after Chad for _weeks_.”

“For longer than that,” Ben grumbled, like this was- like they were actually speaking true things.

“…what?” Chad asked, because he didn’t know what was going on.

Mal sighed. “Stupid boy.”

“It’s a good thing you’re claiming him,” Carlos agreed.

“No, but seriously,” Jay pressed. “ _Doug?_ ”

“Shut up, Doug’s amazing,” Chad grumbled, covering his face with his hands.

“I agree,” Evie chirped. “That’s why we’re claiming him.”

Carlos sighed. “I don’t think it will work.”

“It will work,” Mal decided.

“I mean…” Ben swallowed. “Maybe we could come up with a plan.”

Mal’s responding laugh was well worth Chad’s discomfort. “ _Knew_ you’d come around.”

-:-:-:-:-:-

At some point Chad must have passed out because he woke to the feel of gentle kisses against his throat, light but intentional things that seemed to dote on every bruise he had accumulated. When Chad blinked his eyes open, it was to see Ben carefully cataloguing each and every bite mark, his gaze roving over Chad’s chest with a reverence that made the blond shiver.

“There you are,” he whispered when he saw Chad was awake. He didn’t hesitate before claiming Chad’s lips in a soft kiss that seemed too brief, Chad still desperate for more while Ben continued his path down Chad’s jaw, fluttery light touches that would truly drive him mad. “You have- no idea how- _crazy_ I went over you,” Ben muttered, pressing his lips against Chad’s abused collarbone, his shoulder. “Watching you- take everyone on dates. And then when I walked in and Jay was feeding you-” He let out a sound that was something like a growl, one hand claiming Chad’s hip possessively while the other roved his chest in careful movements. “I wanted you so badly, for myself. And then finding you and Evie and-” his head was drifting lower, hand caressing his stomach in light movement that made Chad shake helplessly. “All bitten up like that? You looked _thoroughly ravaged_ and I- I wished I had done that, but Evie had gotten there first, I didn’t even think-” He drifted lower, mouth settling around Chad’s nipple with a gentle suck that had his legs spreading, heat shifting low at a dangerous rate. “I didn’t think I could have all of you, and it killed me because I didn’t think I could get _any_ of you.”

“Ben-” Chad gasped, but the prince kept going.

“Especially you, who seemed- above it all-” He had switched to the other side until Chad’s hips were shifting with want, aching to find some kind of contact that Ben hadn’t allowed yet. “You never leveled with me even though I wanted you to, desperately. I knew there was more to you, _had_ to be, but you just kept- and it was so frustrating but I still wanted you.” Abruptly, he ducked back up to start kissing at Chad’s neck, urging one of the blond’s legs up around his waist so he could grind them together in a delicious _burn_. “Wanted you, so bad. You don’t even know- after watching Evie make you flush and shake, watching Jay take you apart with his mouth – you have no idea what kind of _torture_ it was.”

“Ben,” Chad huffed, anything and everything coming so fast because he’d finally gotten what he wanted, his magically-enhanced affection roared in his chest like something fierce because he could hardly believe it. Had hardly dared to hope for so much and now it was just being freely given. “Ben, Ben, _Ben-_ ”

“Just like that,” Ben urged, rutting them together. “Just like that. For _me_.”

“Yours,” Chad gasped. “Always yours. I hated- for so long I hated myself because of how much I loved you. And I knew I- I couldn’t have you and-”

“You… love me?” Ben asked, and Chad’s heart _throbbed_ because he hadn’t meant to say that even though Mal had sort of said it before but now it was just _them_ and Ben wasn’t stopping, kept moving them in a furious rhythm. “ _Shit_ , Chad.”

“Yes, you _fuck_ ,” Chad hissed, unable to keep it in anymore. “I love you so much I want to throw myself off a building, I love you so much I want to keep you all to myself but I can’t because to deprive the world of you would be a crime and I hate it, I hate you, I hate you for making me love you so much. _Fuck_.”

“You have- the best way with words.” Ben was smile, sucking careful marks against his skin and hands roving everywhere and Chad was going to go crazy, he was. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

“Ah- _don’t_ ,” Chad whined, shaking his head, but Ben just- kept stubbornly kissing him.

“I mean it,” he pressed. “I love you so much. Can’t imagine how sad I was taking Audrey to coronation when I really wanted _you_ by my side.”

“Don’t-”

“Riding in the carriage,” Ben continued. “Waving at the people. Getting to hold your hand-”

“You _dope_.”

“-taking you out for the first dance. Getting to um- hold you close in your ceremonial clothes.” He nipped at Chad’s neck, shifting his hips up in a hard grind. “You have no idea, how appealing you look in those things. Thought I was going to lose it right there when you entered my birthday party-”

“ _Ben-_ ”

“Like your parents’ story,” Ben breathed. “Every eye in the room on you. So fucking pretty.”

“I hate you,” Chad was flushing so hard he would likely _die_. “Stop. Stop being mushy.”

“No,” Ben denied him easily. “I will always tell you how much I care about you, and how pretty you are, and how wickedly _smart_ you are-”

“ _Ben_ ,” Chad hissed.

“Get used to this,” Ben cheered, claiming his lips, squeezing his chest, his side, his back. “Cuz now that I’ve got you, I’m not letting you go.”

“Fuck.” Chad’s body trembled helplessly, because he didn’t know what to do with that many kind words, felt like he was falling apart and falling together all at once. “P-promise?”

Ben pulled back to look at him, _really_ look at the mess of a human that was underneath him, but the only thing that seemed to shine through his eyes was adoration, as though he’d been claimed with a love potion of his own. “I promise, Chad. I promise. And-” He leaned forward and kissed him again, just as sweet and tender as before. “I will _keep_ promising until you believe me.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Chad repeated. “You’re trying to kill me, I-” He swallowed, knew he was close, had only held on for so long because he hadn’t fully processed the fact that the _prince of Auradon_ was _grinding_ against him. “I’m gonna ruin Jay’s pants.” 

“Ruin them,” Ben ordered with a casual disregard for propriety that made Chad’s heart twist. “He’ll thank you for it.”

“ _Ben-_ ”

“I like it when you whine.” The prince was grinning, seemed determined to move their hips faster. “And I love you.”

“ _Ben!_ ”

They fell over the edge more or less about the same time, Ben kissing him hard while they rode through the aftershocks, collapsing in gasping heaps beside each other on the bed. Of course, Ben insisted on pressing gentle kisses to his lips as though to reaffirm all the- _everything_ he said, like he knew how much Chad wanted to flinch away and hide because it was just- too much to believe.

Ben got a few minutes of this before they were interrupted with a slow clap. When they looked up, it was Carlos standing at the foot of the bed, his cheeks dusted in a light blush.

“So uh- thanks for the show,” he said, which confirmed he had been there for who _knew_ how long but at least Ben seemed embarrassed now, too. “We’ve got a bath ready for you, Chad. Ben-”

“I’ll um, go to my own showers,” he offered bashfully, earning an approving nod from Carlos.

“Good plan,” the young DeVille replied. “Since you were only supposed to keep him company.”

“Well, in a _way-_ ”

“ _Go_.” Carlos rolled his eyes. “You’re worse than Jay.” His gaze shifted to Chad. “Do you need help getting up?”

“I’m fine.” Chad blushed, which would be beneath him if he hadn’t undergone three vigorous ravishings in the course of one day. “Thanks for the um- bath.”

“You’re welcome,” Carlos replied evenly, watching Chad climb out of the bed as though to ensure his safety. “I know how the others can get. And Ben, apparently.”

Ben’s flush darkened. “I um- didn’t meant to-”

“Heat of the moment,” Carlos waved him off. “Let’s just hope Doug’s not as… intense.”

“I think Doug will surprise all of us,” Chad groaned, trying not to think about it as Carlos followed him into the bathroom. “He can be… feisty.”

Carlos cocked a brow at him. “Seems like there’s a story there.”

“Let’s just say there was a reason we were practice dating,” Chad chuckled, obligingly holding his arms out while Carlos helped him out of his shirt. “Because he is stubborn.”

“Seems like there’s hope, after all,” Carlos deduced, and then his hands were on the waistband of Chad’s sweatpants and then-

He pulled them down, like it was a normal thing, giving Chad a pointed look when the prince made no move to step out of the dirty clothes. Chad rushed to help him, deciding to slide into the aromatic bath before he could get too flustered, grateful for the bubbles that seemed to cover the entire surface of the water.

Immediately, his muscles felt less achy, some kind of soak obviously distributed through the water to help ease Chad’s bruises.

“Like it?” Carlos asked, wetting a washcloth and then setting to work on Chad’s neck, cleaning away the traces of lipstick he must have missed earlier. “It’s one of Evie’s concoctions. She’s pretty good at potions.” 

“Fuck yes, she is,” Chad agreed, body feeling all tingly. “She and Aunt Snow are going to have a ball.” At Carlos’ questioning look, he added, “She um… took up Queen Grimhilde’s mantel of magic when she left for the Isle. Potion making and transfiguration are part of Hanover’s magical heritage, so no one’s really afraid of it…”

“It’s just how you use it,” Carlos surmised, washcloth dipping to wipe at Chad’s collarbones.

Chad flushed. “You um- don’t have to stay. I can take care of this.”

Carlos shrugged. “I want to. Besides, Evie said you like this.”

“And what, exactly, does ‘ _this_ ’ entail?” Chad asked as the hand shifted across his shoulders.

“Being doted on,” Carlos replied easily. “Or, her exact words were that you were ‘embarrassed by how much you like to be doted on because you feel obligated to reciprocate’, likely because you’ve been convinced your worth lies solely in taking care of others.” 

“That is sort of my job,” Chad murmured, flushing when Carlos shifted the towel lower, submerging it in the bathwater so he could rub at Chad’s chest. “As a prince, I’m supposed to-”

“Be taken care of yourself, sometimes.” That clever hand was extra careful to miss no part of Chad’s pectorals, allotting extra attention to his nipples before trailing lower. “We get it. I mean, we didn’t get it at first, but _now_ we get it. You’ve been neglected.”

“Ex- um- _cuse_ you, I am just-”

“You didn’t have anyone here for parent’s day,” Carlos continued steadily, sure to trace every dip and curve of Chad’s abdomen in taunting circles. “Or for any of your Tourney games, except that one time with your grandfather.” And the less that was said about that, the better. “You don’t seem to get any letters like any of the other royals do. In fact, you don’t seem to talk about your family that much at all, because you’re used to not getting any attention from them.”

His hand dipped lower, caressing Chad’s hips before grazing before shifting to the inside of his thighs. “So you _want_ to be doted on but don’t think you really deserve it which- for the record, we disagree with.”

The towel traced careful circles on long-neglected skin, and Chad found his legs spreading reflexively wider, flush growing in his cheeks at the easy warmth that seemed to claim him inside and out.

“It- it’s not like that. My dad- he loves me.”

“Probably,” Carlos agreed. “Because you’re very easy to love, but he’s not good at showing it. At letting you know, which again, for the record, is a mistake we will not make.”

Finally, that washcloth settled between Chad’s legs, caressing him in a maddening rush that had his head falling back against the rim of the tub. He was once again grateful for the bubbles, though confused by Carlos’ attention, confused by _any_ of their attention, and felt shaky and listless in a way he hadn’t in _years_.

“Did you get all that?” Carlos asked, still working his hand carefully, and for a second, Chad thought he was talking to him until he saw Doug’s head poke around the bathroom doorway.

“Yes, I…” the dwarf kin dropped off with a flush when he caught side of the scene, would have likely retreated altogether had Evie not bullied him into the bathroom proper. 

“Carlos…” Chad whimpered, because if this was- happening now the other teen should probably _stop_ , but that stubborn hand kept going, because they were actually trying to kill Chad.

“In case you were wondering,” Carlos began, tilting his gaze towards Doug even though his hand was doing wicked things under the water. “Chad likes you, very much, and could use a kiss right now.” 

Doug’s eyes went wide, gaze darting between Chad and Evie, for some reason. “R-really? Chad?”

“Um.” Chad tried to offering him a charming grin that ended in a roughly swallowed moan. “I um- wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to.”

“What?” Doug blinked, seeming honestly confused.

“I know I’m not…” Chad had no words for this. A girl? _Nice_. He had very little to offer Doug. “Your type,” he settled on.

“Are you-?” Doug cut himself off, then marched forward, Evie positively beaming at his back as he crouched next to the tub. “Are you saying _I’m_ your type?”

“Have you met you?” Chad asked, then whined, because Carlos was just- not playing fair. “ _Shit_. I spend most of my time wanting to apologize for having a crush on you.”

“We are going to have to talk about this low self-worth thing,” Carlos said, but Chad didn’t get to process more than that, because Doug was kissing him.

It was sweet and awkward and not at all skilled but Chad loved it because there was a hundred percent enthusiasm in there that had him whimpering, which seemed to embolden Doug until he had Chad’s face cradled in his hands, was sucking at his lips with such dedication it made Chad want to fall apart.

“No biting,” Evie said, combing a hand through Doug’s hair. “Only gentle handling, for now.”

“Right.” Carlos winked, grinding down _hard_ with his hand. “Gentle.”

Evie sighed. “ _Carlos_.”

“You guys got to have fun,” he said with a pout that was hard to process because Doug was kissing Chad’s neck now, which seemed to be everyone’s favorite territory, not that Chad minded. “I _also_ want to have fun.”

“You can have fun with Doug,” Evie offered, making the dwarf kin flush.

“He um- probably doesn’t want to,” Doug murmured, seeming to shrink in on himself.

“Doug, _everyone_ wants to,” Evie pressed, and Carlos decided to take doubt out of the equation by grabbing onto Doug’s collar and pulling _him_ into a kiss.

And _that_ was not fair. It wasn’t fair to see Doug so thoroughly ravished and to see Carlos do the ravishing and all the while his hand was still- _fuck_ , the things these people did to Chad. He was going to _die_ of want. 

“Like that?” Evie asked, settling behind him. A few of her fingers curled in his hair, twining through delicate strands before tugging, making Chad whine. “Nice to know you enjoy a good show.”

“Evie,” Chad gasped, because this was a lot in very little time but she just bit at the shell of his ear and he shuddered, because he wasn’t going to last, because Carlos had abandoned the washcloth and was just _touching him_ and that was not fair, Aziz was _never_ this good. “Evie-”

“Hey,” Carlos pulled away from Doug with a gasp. “No, say _my_ name.”

“What?” Chad was a bit distracted by a ruthless _drag_ of nails against his scalp.

“My name,” Carlos stressed with a particularly hard pump of his arm. “Me, I started this. Evie already had a turn.”

“Carlos,” Chad groaned, didn’t know what was so special about names. “Please, I’m gonna-”

“Are you-?” Doug blushed a furious shade of red. “ _Carlos_.”

“ _Yessss_ ,” the young DeVille hissed. “Just like that. Say it.”

“Fuck, Carlos- I’m-” Chad swallowed, felt everything come to a head. “ _Carlos!_ ”

Chad fell apart with ruthless shudders, back arching and head falling back into Evie’s hold, until he was nothing but an oversensitive mess that Carlos continued to tease, because he was actually evil.

“I thought we said no biting,” Carlos drawled, aiming an unimpressed look at Evie.

“And I thought you were just going to _give him a bath_ ,” Evie countered.

“Ben started it,” Carlos sniffed. “Since he was just supposed to watch Chad-”

“Ben?” Doug echoed, flush darkening. “Is he-? I mean-”

“If he doesn’t want you now, he will,” Evie said sweetly with the kind of looming threat that only made Chad fond. Maybe he was broken inside.

“ _Um_.” Doug flushed.

“Huh.” Carlos grinned. “Looks like we found another secret Ben crush.”

Evie rolled her eyes. It was kind of weird to see. “At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if half the school had a crush on Ben.”

“Yeah, but _we’re_ the only ones who he has a crush on back, so we win.”

“Guys,” Chad groaned, because he couldn’t keep talking about this. “Please, can we just… _wow_.”

“Yeah,” Carlos agreed to the sentence he hadn’t been able to formulate. “You’ve had a pretty rough day.”

“You know we’re not finished, right?” Evie asked, her eyes full of mischief. “I’ve got some muscle oil relaxants for after your bath.”

“ _Um_.” This was it, he was going to die.

“Want to help with that, Doug?” Carlos asked, and at least the furious blush on the dwarf kin’s face made it seem like he could die of embarrassment too.

Except then he was nodding, so maybe not.

Chad was doomed.

But like, in the best possible way.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Eventually, they all ended up in a big sort of cuddle pile with Doug very bashfully accepting his affection crammed between Evie and Jay and Chad was a happy boneless mess and Ben was watching over them all with a satisfied sort of grin while Mal and Carlos claimed him as their personal pillow and everything seemed relatively okay.

And then Jay awkwardly cleared his throat. “Okay, so… we may have um… used a disguise spell to make you think I was Ben once.”

“No shit,” Chad murmured as Ben squawked out a predictable _‘What?’_ , but Jay was more interested in Chad’s response.

“What?” Jay rolled away from Doug to aggressively cuddle Chad and it was the best and also the worst thing ever. “What do you mean _‘no shit’_?”

“I mean you don’t walk like Ben at all, you _doofus_ ,” Chad shot back. “You think I don’t know this asshole?” he asked, gesturing to Ben who still looked parts concerned and mostly confused. “Because I _do_.”

“To be fair, we thought you were dumb at the time,” Mal pouted, slumping against Ben’s side. “We were trying to gather more information.”

“Yeah, I _got that_ ,” Chad sighed, and then went back to shivering because Jay was tugging at his hair.

“Wait, back up a second,” Ben seemed like he really wanted to get lost in this moment but he also needed to cater to his sense of morality. “What do you mean, disguise spell?”

“Jay stole some of your clothes and then Mal disguised him to look like you so he could intercept one of our dates,” Chad explained easily – or – not easily, because Jay was biting at his ear. “Except he wasn’t _you_ so I figured it out in like, ten seconds.”

“So you took me to the equipment shed to have your wicked way with me,” Jay surmised, and he didn’t seem all that upset about it, if the hand roaming under Chad’s shirt had anything to say about it.

“To get you _out of the way_ ,” Chad scoffed. “Which I did. In like, two minutes.”

“It was not- it was longer than _that-_ ” Jay sputtered.

“Not _much_ longer,” Mal grumbled, but the thief ignored her.

“And I was- taken by surprise. You being all- assertive and stuff.”

“That was the point,” Chad groaned, because Jay was pinching and pulling at his skin and that really wasn’t fair. “I had to deal with you quickly so I could foil you plan and I did.”

“By playing dirty,” Jay insisted, hand shifting higher to pinch and pull at Chad’s nipples. “Saying all that stuff about how you wanted to _serve me-_ ”

“Again,” Chad gasped. “That was the _point_.”

“What did he say about serving you?” Evie pipped up, and if Chad could manage to look behind him he was sure the princess was curled around a blushing Doug, looking predatory and sweet at the same time.

“Just that he was happy to do so, and how it made him so hot to watch Ben do kingly things.”

“Okay, that was-” Chad groaned, because Jay was biting at his shoulder again. “-to mess with you.”

“Yeah, huh,” Jay hummed against his shoulder. “Except Ben really _does_ make you hot-”

“Shut up.”

“Dude,” Mal laughed. “We already know you love him.”

“It’s the _principle_ ,” Chad griped, but then it didn’t matter because Carlos was sliding out of the way so Ben could properly kiss him, much to Jay’s annoyance.

“ _Aw_ ,” Ben grinned between kisses. “You make me all hot, too.”

“Shut up, you dork. You loser.” But Ben just kept kissing him, pulling higher whines from his throat until the others decided to get involved.

“You know,” Evie said somewhere in the mess. “I’m starting to think that love potion was a brilliant idea.”

“What love potion?” Ben asked, and Chad just- sighed.

“You are lucky we like you,” he complained, but then Ben was smiling again, and Jay was stealing kisses and Mal was cackling and Doug was pressing in because he too, was an ‘obnoxious shit’ and everything seemed like it would be okay.

Unorthodox, but okay.

Which seemed like a justified ending in itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, it has been a true pleasure writing this for you. Thanks to everyone who commented, bookmarked, gave kudos, and subscribed to this fic. Your enthusiasm and feedback have been a true gift, and I am forever grateful for your support <3 
> 
> If you enjoyed this story, I'm posting the first chapter of the sequel ['The Sound of Longing'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23069056/chapters/55180078)  
> today as well, so keep your eyes open for that!  
> 
> 
> I'll also be posting the deleted scenes as an additional chapter before marking this bad boy as complete. I hope you guys enjoyed it, it has certainly been a pleasure for me ^_^
> 
> Story notes:
> 
> For the sake of this story we’re just going to pretend that Chad’s recovery time is like, non-existent. The end. 
> 
> Until next time :)


	9. Deleted Scenes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Sometimes my brain goes in spastic directions that don’t end up panning out. Here is a collection of extra scenes that didn’t make it into the final fic that I thought still might be enjoyable to peruse :)

** Short Aziz Aside **

Notes: _Random idea I had when all the ‘practice’ dating started up, but I could never really find a good place to shove it in the story._

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Hey, baby,” Aziz drawled with a stupid wag of his eyebrows. “Want to practice _sex_?”

Chad did not bother hiding his annoyance. “We will practice _nothing_ if you’re a shit about it.”

“Wait- no,” the prince huffed. “Come on, I’m not Ben. I actually _do_ want to practice.”

“Practice _doing_ it, maybe.”

Aziz’s grin split his face. “See, you get me.”

Unfortunately, this was true. 

An additional misfortune was that Chad was horny, so Aziz would have to do.

“ _Fine_ ,” he sighed, and then dragged him to Lonnie’s room because it was always sort of fun to terrorize her.

-:-:-:-:-:-

** Chapter 2 - Original Audrey finds out about ‘practice’ dating **

Notes: _This is the original version of the scene, before I realized how much conflict could be provided by Audrey being aware of Chad’s attraction to Ben. Naturally, I chose the route that provided more drama, but this was a fun comedic aside._

-:-:-:-:-:-

“What the hell, Chad?!” Audrey was in a fine form of rage, hair perfectly coifed, nails perfectly sharp, and gaze that of a murderous beast prepared to eat the heart of an unsuspecting victim. “You’re dating _Ben_ , now?”

“ _Practice_ , dating,” Chad clarified, because he managed to maintain his oblivious façade mostly by grace of _not_ interacting with Audrey. “Ben wanted to practice and I took pity on him, because I am a good friend.”

“Uh, huh.” Audrey did not look impressed, though to be fair, Audrey was impressed with very little. “How very _generous_ of you, _Chad_.”

“Look, I didn’t ask for this,” Chad sputtered, because Audrey could be scary when she put her mind to it.

“Yeah, but you didn’t _fight_ it either, did you?”

“Of course not,” Chad scoffed. “I know free food when I see it.”

“You little shit.” Audrey scowled. “Fine. Take me on a practice date.”

“Um. _No_.” Not in a million years. “You know who you should ask out? Aziz. He was just talking about how pretty your hair was.”

“Funny.” She narrowed her eyes. “He just said the same thing about _you_.”

Traitorous _whelp_. “He must have gotten confused by how shiny your hair is!” Chad offered, because there was no way in hell he was dating Audrey. Not even fake dating Audrey. He had standards and a will to live. “He’s real shy. You’ll have to ask him again.”

“I also grew up with him, _Chad_.” Audrey’s eyebrow was doing that twitching thing again. Not good. “I know you two are up to something.”

“What?” Chad pressed a hand against his chest in mock offense. “ _Us?_ Audrey, you know planning isn’t my strong suit.”

“I know you don’t want me to _think_ planning is your strong suit,” Audrey countered. “But I know you’re planning something and once I figure out what it is, you’ll be sorry!”

“Yeah, sure. Great talk!” he offered her retreating back.

Then he made a beeline for Aziz.

Someone had some _explaining_ to do.

-:-:-:-:-:-

** Chapter 3 - Second Jay-as-Ben Scene **

Notes: _I had an idea for Jay to appear a couple times disguised as Ben because he was relentless, but I could never really find a good place to put it in the story that didn’t mess with the flow. Below is Jay trying to ‘get back at’ Chad for how easily he ‘dealt’ with him in the equipment shed._

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Hey.” Jay-as-Ben caught Chad in his room when he had his guard down, Doug expertly manipulated out of the equation by a last-minute invitation to hang out with Carlos and Evie. Chad would have paid more attention to the details but he was still trying to figure out a way to contact Aunt Snow that didn’t involve hunting down a warlock (curse the magical interference of Arendell’s outer lands) and so far he’d come up with _nothing_. She was going to be so disappointed in him, though granted, a majority of her ire would be aimed at Ben for not giving her more heads up about Evie’s arrival. This annoyance at Ben was something they could bond over, once Chad found a way to _call_ her.

So he’d been exiting the ensuite bathroom (because Chad deserved a nice relaxing bath when dealing with such grievances) clad in his pajamas and ready to start brainstorming again when Jay-disguised-as-Ben crowded him against the door, taking all of two seconds to slide one hand under Chad’s shirt and maneuver a thigh between his legs and just- loom very sexily.

“Chad,” Jay purred, low and seductive as he began caressing the prince’s stomach. “I didn’t get a chance to pay you back the other day.”

“It was practice.” Chad gasped, unable to withstand _that_ look in Ben’s eye even if it was Jay because it was so very determined and his leg kept pressing closer. “No repayment is- necessary.”

“I don’t agree,” Jay said, and this was- payback, Chad realized. Because Chad had taken him apart in _minutes_ so his dumb pride was probably on the line and now, _he_ wanted to be in control. “I do like to take _care_ of my people, after all.”

“Ben-” Chad’s protest was cut off when Jay dragged his hips forward, allowing him to grind against that muscular thigh in a way that had his toes curling. “B-Ben.”

“Overwhelmed, Chad?” Jay asked, his hand shifted higher, teasing Chad’s pectorals until he was shaking, because it wasn’t Ben but his dumb brain kept screaming _Ben is touching me_. “Do you feel good?”

“S-shut up,” Chad hissed, biting down hard on his bottom lip to keep a moan from spilling out. It was stupid, to get worked up this quickly, even with Jay doing his very best to attempt just that.

“ _Aw_ , don’t be like that,” Jay murmured, pressing gentle kisses to Chad’s neck, sucking on his throat. “I _want_ you to feel good. I like it when you feel good.”

“Ben-” Jay took that abused lip into his mouth and _sucked_ , causing shivers to course through Chad’s body, his breaths coming out in weak pants.

“You know what I think?” Jay asked when he pulled back, eyes half-lidded and devilish. “I think you like me, Chad. I think you _love_ me.”

Chad shuddered, but didn’t response, because the voice was the same but it was Jay using it, not Ben. “Stupid,” he muttered, even as Jay urged his hips forward. “Not everyone loves you, dipshit.”

“But you love me,” Jay pressed, so desperate to see if Mal’s love potion had actually worked. “And you know? I think I love you.”

“ _Ben_.” Chad forced himself to scowl, forced himself not to shiver or whine or drag Jay desperately closer.

“I love you, Chad,” Jay repeated, pressing hot kisses along his jaw. “I love you. I love you so much-”

“Shut _up_ , Ben!” Chad _shoved_ the other teen away, knowing he couldn’t hold himself together for a moment longer. Drastic measures were required, and before he knew it, a new story was spilling from his tongue. “I already told you I don’t want to roleplay! _Shit_ , if you like Mal that much, just ask her out.”

“…what?” Jay-as-Ben asked, entirely thrown for a loop, thus allowing Chad to usher him to the door.

“You. Mal. Ask her on a date. Or hell, just hang around her and hope she’ll ask _you_ on a date, since you seem to suck at asking people out so much, just stop like, using practice as an excuse not to own up and _do something_.”

With that, he managed to successfully shove Jay out the door he must have picked to get in, pretending his flush was from annoyance and not from minor heartsickness and a stupid reasonable response to intimate physical activity.

“Good luck, Ben,” Chad offered, because they were supposed to be friends even if Jay didn’t like him much anyway. “Let me know how it goes. Or don’t. Your choice.”

With that, Chad shut the door, locking it and retreating very quickly to the other side of the room.

He needed another damn shower now.

Figured. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

** Chapter 4 - Original post-punishment scene **

Notes: _There was an entire sequence of scenes I had in place that I liked well enough, but ultimately decided it clued Ben and the VKs into Chad’s personal problems too much to make the ending work. Ultimately, this got cut down and shortened, though you’ll notice that I kept some parts of it in the final version._

-:-:-:-:-:-

“ _Shit_.” It was Lonnie, clad in Auradon blue and yellow, clutching her first aid kit disguised as a purse. “He really did a number on you this time.”

“Let’s just say it’s not the um- best day to be me,” Chad managed through clenched teeth, tilting his face back so she could rub at his tears with a damp washcloth. She must have stopped by her room before coming here.

“Sorry,” she murmured, tucking the towel back into her purse and returning with a cold compress to rest against his eyes, trying to cut down on the puffiness before they could swell too much. “I was keeping Mal and Evie distracted, didn’t notice your grandfather had left the private boxes until Jane sent me a text.”

“Nothing you could have done,” Chad said, holding the compress in place with a shaky hand.

“Could have set off the fire alarm,” she countered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Would have only delayed it.” Though it could have potentially kept Carlos out of the line of fire, which Chad would now have to be on the look for. “He caught me and Carlos asleep.”

“ _Damnit_ ,” Lonnie muttered, raising him into the standing position. “We’ll worry about that later. Can you walk?”

“I’ll manage.” He didn’t _want_ to, but he realized he needed to get out of here before Doug or the others came back.

“That dick,” Lonnie hissed. “That giant, royal _dick_.”

“I’ll say,” Chad giggled, and then they made their very slow journey to the door. He handed the compress back to Lonnie at the last possible moment, getting deemed _‘good enough’_ for the security cameras if he kept his head down. If anyone asked, Lonnie had relocated to help ‘nurse him back to health’, which had the benefit of actually being true.

Lonnie clipped a note to the door before guiding Chad back down the hallway, up an excruciating flight of stairs before the finally made it to Jane and Lonnie’s room. By the end of it, most of his weight was on Lonnie, and while she was far from weak, he could tell it was taxing on her. 

“Here.” Lonnie dumped him onto her bed and made a beeline for the door. “I’m going to get a shit ton of ice, okay? I know you don’t like it, but an ice bath’s your best option right now.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Chad whimpered into her pillow, willing his mind into a state of disconnect so he’d stop registering how much pain he was in.

“I’ll be right back,” Lonnie promised, and then she was gone.

He lost track of time after that, but eventually a flushed and sweaty Jane slid into the room, her expression falling into one of concern at the sight of it. “Sorry, Chad,” she murmured, getting him a fresh cold compress to distract from the pain. “We should have planned for something like this-”

“It’s done,” Chad gasped. “No point in ruminating in our failures. Are you-” He swallowed. “Can you get the others to the lake?”

“I don’t know,” she replied honestly. “I left before regrouping with them.” She had wanted to check on Chad. “They’re worried.”

“They’re kind,” Chad said. “Kind people worry. It’s like, their thing.”

“I think Mal and the others would object to that title,” Jane murmured, but at least she was smiling now. A small, pitiful thing.

“Yeah well,” Chad huffed, managing a strained smile of his own. “They’ll learn to deal.”

“Look who I found,” Lonnie said by way of greeting, pushing a small cart piled with ice bags with a weary Aziz following on her heels. “Jane, could you see if the cameras between our room and the kitchen could have some kind of ‘glitch’ for the last twenty minutes before you go?”

“Yeah.” Jane nodded, looking eager to be given something productive to do. “I’ve got it.”

Chad would ask her to lose his grandfather’s visit too, if he didn’t know for a fact the Duke had likely already delegated that task himself.

“Come on, bud,” Aziz grunted, pulling Chad off the bed. “Into the tub, with you.” 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Chad groaned, but didn’t fight him, helped Aziz disrobe him as best he could as the cold water began filling up the tub.

“Shit, shit, _shit-_ ” he hissed in a familiar chant, tears burning at his eyes when the first of the ice was dumped into the water, feeling his core temperature drop and the bitter sting of his aching muscles sing with range. “ _Fuck_.”

“I know,” Aziz pet his hair distractedly, using his free hand to dump in more ice. “I know, dude. But it’s got to be done.”

“We have to take him to the doctor,” Lonnie muttered. She’d changed out of her preppy dress and into more practical sweatpants, her hands covered in gloves so she could more easily handle the ice.

“ _No_ ,” Chad gasped, tears streaming down his face. “No doctors, Lonnie-”

“ _Hush_ ,” she ordered, tone leaving no room for argument. “He could have left permanent damage, this time. You _need_ to see someone, though obviously we can’t just go to the hospital.”

“Then where should we go?” Aziz asked. “Any place that sees this is going to want to contact the authorities.”

“I know a guy,” Lonnie said, indicating she had planned for this inevitability. “An Imperial City doctor working on some kind of research program here in Auradon. He’d be willing to see Chad under the table.”

For _her_ , she did not say, but there was a distinct list of benefits that came from being the daughter of Fa Mulan and Lee Shang, and eternal loyalty of any Imperial City citizen was one of them.

“Can we go tonight?” Aziz asked. “After the swelling’s gone down?”

“We’ll have to,” Lonnie said, and then further conversation was interrupted by distinct knocking on the door to the main room. “Stay quiet,” Lonnie ordered, as though they would do anything different, and she swiftly exited the bathroom, Aziz locking the door behind her before returning to Chad’s side. 

A few seconds later, Ben’s voice echoed through the door. “ _Is Chad okay?_ ”

“ _He’s **fine** , Ben_,” Lonnie sighed, and if she hadn’t just been ordering them around a second prior, Chad wouldn’t have known there was a strategic genius behind that put upon sounding teenager. “ _He’s taking a bath right now and then I’ll let him pass out on my bed. It’s totally_ _good_.”

“ _You couldn’t have done this in his room?_ ” That was Carlos, sounding on edge in way Chad hadn’t heard from him in weeks. “ _It would have been easier_.”

“ _He likes our scented candles_ ,” Lonnie said, like ‘what could you do?’. “ _And our pillows. He would have been a baby about it otherwise. It was actually easier to bring him here_.”

Yes, good plan. Subject them to the possibility of whining Chad.

“ _Should he be alone?_ ” Ben’s stupid voice sounded closer to the door. “ _What if he passes out?_ ”

“ _About that_ ,” Carlos said, and Chad’s stomach would have dropped were Chad actually capable of _feeling_ anything besides the sting of bitter cold. “ _Chad’s not actually sick_.”

Cue concerned Ben. “ _What?_ ”

“ _Someone drugged him,_ ” Carlos continued. “ _He was fine by the time his grandfather showed up, which makes me wonder why he’s here **now**._”

“ _Look, I don’t **know**_ ,” Lonnie pressed, ever committed. “ _Maybe it acted in two waves? He was shaky by the time I got to him_.”

“ _Did-_ ” Ben began slowly. “ _Did his grandfather-?_ ”

“ _Don’t say anything you don’t mean, Ben_ ,” Jane interrupted quietly, likely huddled by her computer. “ _If anything happened, Chad would let us know_.”

“ _Look, there are all sorts of weird drugs out there_ ,” Lonnie said. “ _And all kinds of crazy people that want to make royals look bad for petty reasons. Chad’s illness – or, not illness, whatever – probably has nothing to do with his grandfather. Don’t be stupid_.”

“ _Really?_ ” Chad wasn’t used to Carlos being this talkative, especially over him. “ _Because his grandfather didn’t seem all that happy to see him. Or me._ ”

“ _That’s just how the old school are_ ,” Lonnie huffed. “ _They’re all stern, perpetually disappointed. But he loves Chad. Would he have come to his game, otherwise?_ ”

Chad was actually still kind of confused why his grandfather had visited in the first place. It didn’t seem like a very ‘him’ thing to do, especially out of the blue like this. Maybe Audrey had something to do with it, since she seemed so convinced Chad had orchestrated her break up. Which he had, but like, peripherally.

“ _Chad seemed to think his grandfather would have made him play if he was sick regardless_ ,” Carlos pressed. “ _That doesn’t seem very loving to me_.”

“ _Again_ ,” Lonnie said. “ _He’s old school. But he loves Chad._ ”

He didn’t, but it was really nice of Lonnie to pretend he did for the sake of appearances.

“ _I want to see him_ ,” Ben said, which was just- no.

“ _He’s bathing, Ben_ ,” Lonnie sighed. “ _I promise, he’s **fine**. Just give him some time to recover-_”

“ _This is stupid,”_ Carlos huffed. “ _I’m telling Mal_.”

“ _It’s not going to change anything_ ,” Lonnie said. “ _Chad’s going to be fine-_ ”

“ _Someone **drugged** him,_” Carlos snapped. “ _Why doesn’t anyone care about that?!_ ”

“ _Because this kind of stuff happens all the time?”_ Lonnie said, because it was true. _“Not everyone likes Chad, Carlos_.”

“ _Wait, has something like this happened before?_ ” Ben asked, sounding heartbroken at the thought of it. “ _Lonnie-_ ”

“ _Ben_ ,” Lonnie sighed. “ _You’re the prince of Auradon. You sort of get the most idyllic picture of all things. Chad doesn’t_.”

“ _But why?_ ” Carlos pressed. “ _He’s not that much of an asshole. He’s not even really an asshole; he just pretends to be one_.”

Lonnie sighed again. “ _A lot of people in his kingdom didn’t like his mom_.”

“ _What?_ ” Chad was honestly confused as to how Ben didn’t know that. “ _But she- the story_.”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Lonnie agreed. “ _It’s a great story. Not great for politics, but a great story_.”

There was a pause. “… _this is fucked up_ ,” Carlos declared.

He wasn’t wrong.

“ _Just go_ ,” Lonnie urged. “ _Go do your lake tradition thing or sleepover in Mal’s room. Just- give Chad some space_.”

“ _The doctor_ ,” Ben said. “ _At least let me call a doctor-_ ”

“ _Ben_ , _we’ve got this_ ,” Lonnie said, and that was that, that was the end of it. “ _Now, **go**_.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Carlos snapped, and finally they retreated, leaving Chad to his misery and ice bath, Aziz’s fingers gently carding through his hair. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

It was dark by the time they snuck down to the nondescript rental Jane had arranged for them, the young fairy keeping an eye on things in Ben’s bedroom – where the others had decided to reconvene. Chad had the minor benefit of exhaustion on his side, because while it hurt, it was a pain he had become accustomed to, making their trip through Auradon City all the more manageable.

The building Lonnie brought them to was nondescript and secluded. She strategically parked them away from any security cameras and guided them into the back of the building, meaning she’d staked the place out before. 

A night nurse was waiting for them by the door. She locked up behind them before taking them to an examination room, where Lonnie’s doctor was waiting for them.

There were- scans. A physical inspection. The doctor commended Lonnie for the ice bath and recommended minimal activity for Chad, declaring there had been no permanent damage – this time – before sending them away with some prescription pain killers and an injection for immediate pain management. 

By the time they’d gotten back to the school, Chad was a little out of it. But in like, the best possible way. Which was why he was happy to see Jay melt out of the shadows when they meandered through the parking lot. Well, _he_ meandered, Aziz tried desperately to herd him.

“ _Jay!_ ” he whispered, grinning with delight at his cool ninja skills. “… _you’re not wet_.”

“We didn’t go swimming,” Jay shot back, frowning at Aziz before taking Chad’s other side. “…did you drug him _again_?”

“ _Good drugs_ ,” Chad whispered. “ _Consensual drugs_.” 

He heard Aziz sigh. “It’s just painkillers.”

“Don’t sound so-” Chad frowned, unable to remember the words ‘put upon’ for the life of him. “Whatever. Hi, Jay.”

“Hi, Chad.” Jay shot him a weird look.

“Why didn’t you swim?” This was an important question, Chad was confused why Aziz hadn’t asked it yet, there were _traditions_.

“Because _someone_ decided to get himself drugged,” Jay grumbled. “ _Twice_.”

“Consensual druggings,” Chad reminded him, then blinked. “Wait, did someone else get drugged?” A horrible thought occurred to him. “Did _Carlos_ get drugged?”

“Carlos is fine,” Aziz assured him, but Aziz had been with Chad the entire night so what the fuck did he know?

“He’s fine,” Jay said eventually, when it because obvious Chad did not believe Aziz. “Why wouldn’t he be fine?”

“Because the _Duke_ is a tool,” Chad muttered, letting his head slump with relief. Keeping it upright was hard. He wanted a nap. And some cuddles.

“That’s what he calls his grandfather,” Aziz offered, and belatedly Chad wondered where Lonnie was. Oh, probably dealing with the car. What a peach. “Don’t take anything he says too seriously,” Aziz continued, just _wounding_ Chad’s honor while he was _right there_. “He’ll be out of it for a while.”

“You should always take me seriously,” Chad sniffed. “I’m a serious guy. Super serious. Hey-” He squeezed at Jay’s shoulder. “Tell him I’m serious.”

“I’m…” Jay did not seem to know what to do, when Chad had already _told_ him what to do. “No?”

“ _Jay_ ,” Chad whined, slumping into his space. Oh, this was a good idea. Jay was all muscley. And not a traitor like _Aziz_. “Come _on_. I’d do it for you.” Wait. “No, I wouldn’t. Never mind. You’re only serious when you’re _brooding_.”

Jay sputtered. “I don’t- _brood_.”

“That’s what you _want_ us to think,” Chad drawled, swaying as they dragged him up the stairs. “You want _everyone_ to think you don’t care so you smirk and steal things and flirt with everyone-”

“Ignore him,” Aziz pressed. “Chad, _shut up_.”

“ _But_ ,” Chad continued, because he had things to _say_. “Deep down you care a lot and that-”

“Hey look,” Aziz cheered. “It’s your room. You can go to sleep soon.”

“Can I?” Chad blinked. “I think I’m- I’m really tired.”

“That’s because you are,” Aziz hummed, and then there was this sort of weird tussle thing that ended with him hissing, “ _Jay_.”

“What?” the thief said all totally brooding like.

“We passed the room.”

“Did we?”

Chad craned his head around, realized belatedly that yep, they totally had. “Yeah, it’s back there.”

“Nah,” Jay denied. “Pretty sure it’s this way.”

“Stupid,” Chad muttered. “The only thing that’s _this way_ is Ben’s room-”

Aziz tensed. “Jay, he needs to _rest_.”

“And he can,” Jay agreed. “In Ben’s room.”

“I shouldn’t go there,” Chad said, even though it pained him. “The Duke would be-”

“Chad,” Aziz interrupted, because he was super rude, or something. “Who has prettier hair, Mal or Evie?”

“They both have pretty hair, _stupid_.” Chad rolled his eyes. “In different ways. Like, Evie’s is all silky and Mal’s is all bright and I want to touch both of them.”

“Well, maybe they’ll let you if you ask nicely.”

“Doubt it,” Chad muttered. He had already given up on that particular plight. “But Jane gets to do it all the time because she’s a _girl_ , and she won’t even teach me how to braid hair because I’d have to practice on Lonnie and Lonnie will like- fist punch my throat if I hurt her precious magic curls.”

Jay brought them to a halt outside Ben’s door, awkwardly hovering. “…you could braid my hair, if you wanted.”

“Would you fist punch me?” Chad asked, because this was important. “Because I only have so many drugs.”

“ _Prescription drugs_ ,” Aziz clarified, even though it was obvious what Chad had meant. “…let’s just get you to bed, shall we?”

And with that, they were allowed into _Ben’s room_ , the place Chad should not be but he was too tired to care, and also other people were there so it was probably fine.

“Jane!” Chad struggled to offer her a wave as Jay and Aziz maneuvered him to Ben’s _bed_. “Hi!”

Jane, who seemed confused by his appearance (likely because she remembered the no-Chad-in-Ben’s-room rule) immediately set into motion and helped settle him on the bed. Because she was a _bro_.

“Hey, Chad,” she murmured, shooting Aziz a glance that could have been apologetic. “Are you okay?”

“ _I_ ,” Chad drawled, offering her a slow wink. “Am _great_ , thank you.”

“He’s high.” And there was Mal, appearing like a vision in the blaringly purple pajamas they had gotten her on their ‘date’. “What kind of doctor did you take him to?”

“A _private_ one,” Chad giggled, accepting a fluffy blanket from Jane with a few slow blinks. “Because of _my-_ ”

“Chad,” Jane interrupted him quietly. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Um…” Chad had to think about this. “No?” 

The doctor had given him some kind of IV treatment to deal with ‘dehydration’ or whatever, so Chad was mostly fine. 

“ _Chad_ ,” And there was Ben, looking all Ben-like and awesome. “What happened?”

“Man,” Chad giggled. “You don’t want to know.”

“He wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know, Chad,” Evie said, because she was there, sitting next to him on the bed. Doug was hovering behind her, looking most sad and Doug-like, which was both good and bad. 

“Hi, Evie.” Chad waved, because he was polite. “Aziz asked me who had prettier hair, but I said you were both pretty, because you are.” He paused. “Not that your worth has anything to do with your looks. Like, if anyone says that, get Jay to punch them for you. Wait-” He frowned. “Don’t do that. Have Aziz do it, he’s the one who asked the stupid question in the first place, and they can’t deport him. Or they could, but it’d probably start a war. So.”

Near the foot of the bed, he saw Aziz drag a hand across his face. Probably because he was feeling lazy. Or dumb. Or _both_.

“That’s… nice, Chad,” Evie said, using her patented patient Evie smile. “Do you know who drugged you?”

“That, my dear, would be the _doctor_ ,” Chad drawled, cutting off halfway because of a yawn. “Hey, can I go to sleep now?”

“Sure, Chad,” Jane said, earning a few unhappy looks from people who obviously had something against sleeping.

Chad gave her a weak thumbs up. “Thanks, Jane,” he mumbled, then let his eyes fall closed, drifting into a painless sort of sleep.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Chad was shaken awake far too soon, his eyelids feeling like heavy, immovable objects that he had to struggle to open, eyes objecting to being exposed to the soft light of early morning. 

He blinked when he realized it was Jane who had woken him up; blinked again when he recognized the two small pills she had in her hand.

“You’re going to need to take these,” she whispered, handing them over. A second later, she handed him a glass of water. “Before the injection wears off.”

“Thanks,” he whispered, voice thick and heavy with sleep. He could have swallowed the pills dry, but it was kind of Jane to get him the water, so he used it to follow them down.

He passed the cup back to Jane when he felt slightly more awake, blinking at his surroundings. He was at the edge of Ben’s massive bed – likely where Aziz had been able to dump him the night before, and it seemed like the other had decided to join him at some point. To his immediate right was Ben, curled up and lost to sleep, with Mal squished in next to him, Carlos draped against her stomach. Evie and Doug were on the far side of the bed, which made Chad wonder where Jay was, until the saw the teen posed against the wall with his arms crossed, obviously eyeing a tired Aziz, who was hanging near the foot of the bed.

“Lonnie prepared another bath,” Jane whispered, and Chad knew it was necessary but he couldn’t help wince. That was not the way he had wanted to begin his Saturday, but such was the way of things. “Can you walk?”

“I’m fine,” Chad muttered, conscious of Jay’s presence. He slid out of bed carefully, taking Aziz’s arm for support. Jay took his other side without saying, gaze hard and contrary, as though challenging them to deny him. All of them were too tired to, so the four of them made their way back down the hall and up the stairs, Chad aching with marginally less pain this time.

Still, it was a relief to get back to Jane and Lonnie’s room. “Thanks, Jay,” Jane said when they got into the bedroom, gently pulling the other teen aside so that it was just Aziz supporting Chad’s weight.

“I’m not leaving.” Jay looked distinctly unhappy at the thought of it. “This is _stupid-_ ”

“Jay,” Jane interrupted, whipping out the tone of authority she so rarely used. “We would appreciate it if you wouldn’t mention this to Ben. Because if Ben knew, he’d want to help. He’d _have_ to help, and there are _some things_ , if he decided to ‘help’ with, that could jeopardize his future as king. Do you understand?”

Jay stared at them, long and hard and unhappy, though he seemed to realize the implications of Jane’s statements.

“The Duke has a lot of power,” Jane explained quietly. “And he so rarely visits Chad. This is nothing.”

“I won’t see him again for months,” Chad offered. “Maybe at coronation, but not before then.”

There was a tense silence.

“I’m telling the others,” Jay said eventually, his voice tight.

“Just not Ben,” Jane compromised. “Or Doug.”

They couldn’t handle it. Handle the darker things of the world.

Jay scowled. “ _Fine_.”

With that, he stalked out of the room, footsteps silent against the hardwood floors, until even his shadow was gone.

Aziz sighed. “That could have gone better.”

“But it also could have gone worse,” Chad said. “Come on, let’s get to ice bathing.”

“You’re lucky I like you,” Aziz grumbled, but at this point, their connection was a necessity of survival. Aziz was, after all, the son of a ‘street rat’. Lonnie wasn’t even a real _princess_. Jane didn’t have a father, and was considered an abomination by a lot of the old schoolers.

Things like that bonded you together. And they weren’t lucky for that, but they were lucky to have each other.

Small blessings.

-:-:-:-:-:-

Chad wasn’t sure whatever magic Jay had worked on the others, but he managed to get through the following week mostly free of Ben’s concerned face, which was a victory in itself.

Unfortunately, this came with a sort of compromise of having the VKs sneak into his room whenever they so choose to check up on him. It was only ever two at a time, the other two likely tasked with distracting Doug and Ben, because neither were ever present, and Chad was grateful for that, even if he didn’t necessarily understand it.

The first night it was Mal and Carlos who climbed through his window, carrying large soft coolers topped off with ice. 

Mal quirked an unimpressed brow at him. “Figured out the key to Lonnie’s ‘special’ baths.”

Chad sighed. He had been planning to hunt down the ice himself as it was, even after spending most of the weekend working from bed, the first day back in classes had been _rough_ , and not for the reasons Audrey scowled at him for.

“Fine,” he said eventually, motioning them to the bathroom. “Come on.”

It should have probably been weird, working with the two of them to prepare the ice bath, but they managed to coordinate in perfect silence, until the two of them stared at Chad expectantly. 

“We’re not leaving,” Mal said, and it seemed like that would be her battle cry, the hill on which she would gladly make her last stand.

Behind her, Carlos shrugged. “I’ve already seen you naked.”

Chad sighed again. “Just keep in mind that it looks worse than it is, okay?”

“Yeah,” Mal scoffed, but her hands were careful when she helped Chad out of his clothes, Carlos following half a second behind her. 

A certain tension built in their frames the more clothes they removed, the more skin they revealed that hadn’t been damaged, until at last Chad was down to his underwear.

“Again-” he attempted to console them once more.

“Just take it off,” Mal murmured.

Begrudgingly, he did just that. He didn’t imagine the way Mal’s eyes seemed to flare green, Carlos openly frowning at the black and blue bruises that mottled Chad’s thighs, the aggravated mess of his groin area. 

“Mother _fucker_ ,” Mal hissed, but she still helped Chad slide into the tub, combing a hand through his hair when he reflexively flinched against the cool water.

“Shit-shit-shit,” he chanted, squeezing his eyes shut. “So um- how were classes?”

“Chad,” Mal said carefully.

“Yeah?”

“Just _don’t_.”

He did not.

And then they just- stayed with him until a majority of the ice had melted, until Carlos maneuvered him into the actual shower to clean up like they’d done before, only with less desperation and sorrow, and in no time Chad was tucked into his bed, a steaming mug of tea in one hand. He wasn’t actually sure how it got there.

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Mal said when they climbed back out the window. 

They traded off. Sometimes it was Evie with Carlos. One time it was Mal and Jay and Chad thought their combined angry aura would break down the room, but they were always careful with him. Attentive too, outside their nightly visits, Jay taking extra care to cover Chad during practice, Mal walking beside him in the hall to demand a sort of personal bubble from anyone who dared to get close.

Carlos and Jay had visited once though halfway through Carlos made the other teen leave, rolling his eyes when he was replaced by Mal, who refused to comment on why or what had happened.

It was weird, but good, Chad guessed.

“So,” Mal said after a particularly grueling Tourney practice, Evie hovering near the doorway. “You guys stick together, right?”

It didn’t take much to guess who ‘you guys’ referred to.

Chad shrugged. “Everyone needs backup.”

Mal hummed in silent agreement, but kept petting his head.

So he guessed things were okay.

-:-:-:-:-:-

** Chapter 4 - Carlos helps with the ointment  **

Notes: _This scene ended up getting cut for the same reason as above, but I had a brief thought of Carlos and Doug helping Chad with ointment application – it would take place after what actually happened after Chad’s first day back in classes._

-:-:-:-:-:-

“Sure,” Chad managed, letting his eyes fall shut. “I mean, as I _can_ be.”

“He already took his pain meds,” Doug said, seeming unsurprised by Carlos’ sudden appearance.

“Is there anything else you have to do?” Carlos asked, still just- crouching next to Chad’s bed.

Chad really wished they’d let him sleep. “There’s some kind of ointment but that’s just- not happening.”

Carlos turned his attention to Doug. “Do you know where-?”

“Hold on,” Doug interrupted, then proceeded to demonstrate his superior intellect by rummaging through the compartment in Chad’s dresser that was supposed to be _secret_ before withdrawing the jar of ointment. “Got it.”

“ _Guys_ ,” Chad groaned. “Your concern is appreciated, but it’s not happening.”

“Yeah, we get it,” Carlos said, plucking the jar from Doug’s fingers before- climbing onto the bed next to Chad. “You’re tired. We can take care of this part.”

Fuck _no_ , he could not.

“Yeah, no.” Chad turned, wincing as the previously lush towel robe seemed to scrape against his skin. “Look-”

“It’s your legs, right?” Carlos asked, eyeing the hem of Chad’s robe. “You started limping near the end of classes.”

Please let that not have been obvious to anyone else.

“Yeah, it’s- I mean, at least partially my legs, but-”

“Then it’s no problem,” Carlos said, slowly easing up the hem of Chad’s robe. His brows furrowed harder the higher he got without finding blemished skin, until the first hint of bruising became evident on his thigh.

Chad’s breath felt tight in his chest. “It- it looks a lot worse than it _is_.”

“I highly doubt that,” Carlos said, uncharacteristically still, and then he pushed the robe the rest of the way up.

Chad tried to block out the sharp gasp that came from Doug, too busy trying to still his heart at the feel of damaged skin exposed so easily to Carlos. He didn’t know what to expect, so it was a relief to have careful fingers rubbing the ointment into the worst of the bruising, until he’d finished one leg and switched to the other.

“Chad-” Doug said quietly, sounding… broken, because he was a giver. Doug wasn’t used to the mean things of the world.

“It’s fine.” Chad attempted to muster his best grin, but it was hard with Carlos pushing his robe open, revealing the mottled mess of his groin area. 

“ _This_ ,” Carlos hissed, hand moving against Chad’s damaged privates in efficient shifts. “Is not okay.”

“It was- my fault,” Chad said, flushing as Carlos helped him turn onto his stomach, the other teen not needing to ask if the bruising extended behind him. “I didn’t plan well-”

“What, you don’t have a plan for being-?”

“ _Carlos_ ,” Chad hissed, face covered in a horrible flush as those nimble fingers worked ointment into his rear while Doug _watched_. “That was a secret.”

“It’s a _dumb one_ ,” Carlos shot back, but he never let his anger with the situation affect his treatment, until Chad had been sufficiently ointmented out and re-wrapped in his robe. 

“Why don’t you want us to know?” Doug asked, still hovering awkwardly near the foot of the bed.

“Because there’s nothing you can do about it.” Between the ointment and the ice bath and the pill, the roaring ache had dulled down to bear tingles that Chad could live with. Granted, he now had to live with the knowledge of Doug and Carlos seeing his genitals in their worst possible condition, but that was something he would have to come to terms with.

“ _Fine_.” Carlos was scowling even as he dragged Jane’s quilt over Chad’s legs, fluffing his pillows with frustrated care before flopping down on the bed beside him. “Want to see a video of Jay tripping over a bench from Tourney practice?”

-:-:-:-:-:-

** Extra – Post Fall Ball **

Notes: _Had enough inspiration to write this scene but not enough to follow through on the possible storylines it provided. Especially with it occurring so late in the game, I decided it was best to cut the two scenes entirely, though it is always fun to write angry Audrey._

-:-:-:-:-:-

“I won Fall Ball Queen.”

It was hardly the weirdest greeting Audrey had ever given him, but it was certainly one of the more bitterly delivered, the fair princess propping her hands against her hips in a sort of immovable battle stance, forcing Chad to talk to her or find another way to the outdoor lunch tables.

“…congratulations?” Chad tried, knowing she would proceed to the actual point in her own time.

“Do you want to know who won Fall Ball _King_?” Audrey asked, tilting her head ever so slightly.

“Me?” Chad used his best dumb golden retriever look and didn’t even get an eye roll for his troubles.

“No, _Chad_ ,” Audrey huffed. “ _Aziz_ won Fall Ball King. And do you want to know _why_ Aziz won Fall Ball King?”

“…because everyone voted for him?”

“Because _Ben_ wasn’t there!” she snapped. “Ben wasn’t there because he was off on some secret retreat, only how secret can it be if he takes you and the VKs along with him?!”

“And Doug,” Chad murmured, earning a furious look.

“ _You_ ,” she hissed, jabbing a finger into his chest because this was how all their interactions went, apparently. “Ruined our perfect night! We would have shared a dance together and he could have remembered how good things were but you _ruined_ it by whisking him away on some sort of- sex weekend.”

“Okay, that was definitely not what happened.” It was _Ben._ How she could ever think her _ex-boyfriend of many years_ would willingly throw himself into orgies, Chad did not know. Ben was far too polite for such a thing. Also, _Doug_ had been there. “You need help, Audrey.”

Because she was focusing on this _way_ too much.

“No, _Chad_ ,” she snapped, jabbing her finger again. “ _You_ need help. Because eventually Ben’s going to see what a fuck up you are and _ditch you_ , like he should have years ago. I swear,” she tossed her head with a furious scowl. “You’re not having sex with him on purpose. You’re just stringing him along as much as you can to torture me.”

“I don’t- I don’t follow your logic.” Chad wasn’t even being Dumb Chad; he honestly had no idea what Audrey meant.

“Because if he had _sex_ with you, it’d be out of his system, and he’d realize what garbage you are,” she huffed. Man she just- really didn’t care if Chad was her enemy. Or if anyone overheard her. What the hell. “But now you won’t which just- figures. The _one_ time you learn to keep it in your pants.” Okay, Audrey’s judgement for his promiscuity was seriously getting on Chad’s nerves. “If you would just-” She bumped her fists together in what was probably an approximation of ‘bump ugliest’ but in like, the clumsiest fashion ever. “Then we could get on with our lives.”

She frowned over this and then got a gleam in her eye Chad did not like before she was power walking away again, like some sort of deranged pheasant.

“Audrey,” Chad scrambled after her. “Is your new goal getting me and Ben to have sex?” Because that was- that was not the turn he thought this would take.

“My new goal is vengeance, _Chadwick_ ,” she shot back and that- he guessed, answered that.

Okay then. 

-:-:-:-:-:-

“What does that even mean?” Lonnie asked, as though the rest of them had any answers for her.

“I think she’s finally going off the deep end,” Aziz griped, not so subtly trying to copy Chad’s homework answers. Chad allowed this; if only because of the minor family emergency Aziz had spent most of day handling. “What happens if she gets deemed unfit to lead her kingdoms? Is that a thing we could do?”

“I mean-” Jane frowned. “Maybe? I think the Moors would go back to Mal, technically, but Queen Aurora and King Phillip’s kingdoms would go to whichever family was next in line for the throne.”

“Well, first the kingdoms would stay under Queen Aurora and King Phillip’s rule while they attempted to get Audrey fit again, and in the instance that failed _then_ it’d go to whoever was next in line, unless they didn’t feel confident about their ability to rule,” Lonnie clarified. “Then I think the kingdoms would fall under a stewardship with whichever monarchy was closest to them. Which would be Corona, or Auradon.”

“They wouldn’t give it back to Auradon,” Chad reasoned. “It wouldn’t be a ‘unity of kingdoms’ working together if the individual kingdom control was surrendered to the main crown.”

“So it’d go to Ruby,” Aziz said. “…I can live with that.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Jane sighed. “First we have to track down the actual candidates next in line after Audrey. _And_ actually deem Audrey unfit.”

“Yeah,” Aziz sighed. “This might be more of a ‘teenage girl crumbling under the extreme pressures put on her by her family’ thing rather than a crazy thing.”

“We all have to deal with family pressure,” Lonnie scowled. “And _we_ haven’t gone psycho on other people because of it.”

“One thing at a time, everyone,” Chad cut in before the argument could devolved. “Now, I’ve recorded most of the conversations I’ve had with Audrey as it is, and they’ve only gotten more manic as of late – so I think that’s a good starting point. Throw in some investigative work for where she could have gotten access to a high-powered aphrodisiac…”

“Huh,” Aziz said. “You may be on to something there.”

-:-:-:-:-:-

** Chapter XX – Alternate ending **

Notes: _So I had an idea about things climaxing after the royal breakfast. Instead of Mal leaving the room she’d go on the following rant that would eventually bring them together. I decided I liked my original sequence of ending scenes more, so this remains what could have been._

-:-:-:-:-:-

“This is _stupid_ ,” she continued, lithe hands curling into fists that seemed ready to destroy mountains. “I hate this. And I hate how I _hate_ this because-” she cut off with a shake of her head, leveling a furious look at Chad. “Because I used to hate you, _so much_. We got here and the first thing you did was have Evie do your homework.” There was a shocked look from Ben, his gaze darting between Chad and Evie as though to confirm this, but Mal continued. “And I _hated_ you for it. Because you knew that Evie was so _desperate_ to be a real princess that you used her, except-” She threw her hands up in the air, stalking towards the windows. “Except you only ever asked her to do it _once_. Just _once_ and I didn’t get _why_. Until I realized-” She turned back towards him. “It was a test. And I thought it was a test to see how much Evie wanted you, but then I realized it was a test to see if she would _hurt_ you.”

There was a buzzing in Chad’s ears because that wasn’t true, it wasn’t like that, but Mal seemed so sure as she continued.

“Because that’s what people do, to you. They use you, and they hurt you. And they call you dumb and stupid so you-” She blinked, and Chad could begin to see a certain wetness gleam in her eyes. “So you _act_ dumb and self-absorbed because at least then you’re owning it, right? Except-” She marched forward, back towards Chad. “Except then you’d do things like take us shopping and completely ignore our scars. You teach us how to swim and play dumb games and buy us food and then _taste test_ it so we know it’s safe all the while treating us like- like-” She looked at the others desperately. “You don’t _treat_ me like the daughter of Maleficent. You treat me like _Mal_ , the girl who loves art and milkshakes and winning. You don’t-” She swallowed, aiming that watery gaze at him. “You don’t treat us like the accumulation of our parents’ mistakes.”

“That’s because you guys _aren’t_ your parents.” Chad couldn’t take it anymore; he shifted to his feet, needing to level with Mal for this one particular moment. “None of you have committed any crimes that would warrant the horrible way you’ve been treated, Mal, you _have_ to know that.”

“I _do_ ,” Mal snapped, but the anger wasn’t at him, it was at the world. “I _know_ that. _We_ know that. But Auradon-” She motioned towards the window. “They _don’t_ , except you guys. And Jane and Lonnie and Aziz and _Queen Belle_ , I guess. But _you-_ ” She leveled a finger at Chad. “ _You_ \- you found out how- how _desperate_ Evie was to be your princess and instead of taking advantage of it, you treated her like she _was_ a princess. You showed her that she already was one on her own and gave her the respect she deserved. You did that. And then you asked for nothing and I couldn’t figure out _why_ someone like you would be so nice to us. Would want to be our friend.”

“It wasn’t-” Chad swallowed, because he owed them this much, at least, if Mal was being honest with him. “It wasn’t completely altruistic, Mal.”

“Then _why_?” Mal pressed, and he knew that she wouldn’t drop this point until he explained himself, not when she had decided to lay herself so bare before him. 

“Because I wanted this to _work_ ,” Chad said. “I wanted you guys to come here and be happy, to get what you deserved, and I wanted the- the _naysayers-_ ” He made a broad sweeping gesture with his hand, terribly conscious of Ben’s gaze on him. “To see how _wrong_ they were. I wanted this to _work_ so that when Ben became king we could start getting more kids off the Isle. We could start applying _actual_ reformations for a working prison system instead of just- shoving everyone in one place out of the way and being done with it.”

“You…” It was Evie that broke in, confused but hopeful with eyes that were suspiciously wet. “You want to get more kids off the Isle?”

“Of _course_ , I do,” Chad whispered. “We all do. I mean-” He turned to Ben, hoping to plead his case, hoping he hadn’t ruined all of his and Jane’s plans. “The Isle might be part of Auradon but it’s part of Sardinia too. It’s part of Agrabah and Hanover and the Imperial City, and- and I know I’m not that good a prince, but it’s my duty to my people, _all_ of my people, to look after them, especially those that have been wrongfully imprisoned. I mean,” he pressed. “I have _cousins_ , Ben. Cousins I’ve never met who have never committed any sort of crime in Auradon and yet they’re trapped on the Isle because of who their parents are? It’s wrong. It’s a commitment to complacency and bad policy and I can’t stand by and do nothing in the wake of it but I’m just- _me_ , so this is what I _could_ do.”

“You want to fix the Isle?” Evie asked, voice quiet.

“It was flawed from its conception,” Chad replied with a shrug. “The fact that it’s been allowed to operate as it has been is a bold infringement of the civil liberties of everyone who resides on it. And we – the ‘ _good guys_ ’ – were the ones that implemented the policy. It has to be fixed, Ben. It _has_ to.”

“I know,” Ben said quietly, and it felt like all the weight had been lifted from Chad’s shoulders, because he hadn’t expected the prince to agree. “And it’s going to.”

“Chad already has new policy proposals lined up,” Doug said quietly, having to this point remained silent. He didn’t shake under the group’s collective surprise, stubbornly pushing forward. “And he and Jane are constantly researching to make more. They have so many backup plans it kind of boggles my mind.”

“Holy shit,” Jay said suddenly, blinking into the void. “You’re actually _smart_.”

“Yes!” Doug said, and it seemed like he couldn’t hold this in anymore. “He’s _always_ been smart but he just- _acts_ like a tool-”

“It’s easier to get things done when no one thinks you’re capable of them,” Chad sniffed, looking away bashfully.

“Oh, sweet evil,” Mal laughed, and then she was, cradling Chad’s face between her hands, looking on him with such fondness that it made his chest hurt. “You beautiful freak, you crazy little monster – you _knew_ the whole time. We’d-” She tilted his head forward until their foreheads resting against each other, and it was such a casual intimacy that Chad could feel himself begin to tremble. “We _drugged_ you and instead of freaking out you let us spend the night. You saw me offering Ben a homemade cookie and you _ate_ it-”

“Safety precaution,” Chad gasped, but Mal just laughed.

“And it didn’t even _work_ ,” she giggled. “Do you know how long we _spent_ on that thing?”

“What thing?” Ben asked, drawing closer to their huddle. “What are you talking about?”

“The cookie I tried to give you before our first visit to the lake,” Mal grinned. “The one Chad stole.” She turned to look at him. “W _hy_ did you steal it?”

“Ben’s going to be king.” Chad would think that much was obvious. “Between the two of us, I’m more expendable.”

“ _Lies_ ,” Mal hissed, eyes flashing a furious green that was even more enchanting up close. “Neither of you are expendable; you shouldn’t steal cookies that could be poisoned.”

“You shouldn’t _offer_ poisoned cookies,” Chad shot back.

“Wait.” Ben held up a hand. “Did you- was that _poisoned?_ ”

“Sort of,” Mal allowed, finally pulling away from Chad to give Ben her attention. “There was a love potion inside. Because-” She paused, taking the time to find the right words. “Because we were scared. Because we thought if we had you on our side- completely devoted, we could be safe. And then it didn’t _work_ ,” she grumbled, shooting a glare at Chad that was more fond than bitter. “And that was it. We’d screwed up, but then- then you guys kept us safe anyway, no magic required.”

She lowered her hands so she could take Chad’s in her own, giving them a light squeeze before she continued. “I didn’t think people like you could exist out here in Auradon, but you do. And I’m not going to let you get hurt anymore.”

“Mal,” Chad sighed, because that was so very impossible.

“ _No_ ,” she snapped, eyes flaring bright again. “I don’t care if we don’t have any real power here – if someone tries to starve you, I want to get you food. And if someone makes you cry in the middle of the night, I want to be _there_ for you, not on the other side of some door while you’re locked in the dark. If someone _drugs_ you before a Tourney game-” At this, Ben tensed, though none of the other VKs seemed surprised which meant Carlos had told them. “-I want to _help you through it_ , not watch you suffer in silence. _You-_ ” she declared, cupping his jaw again, making him _watch_ her. “Are _mine_. I’m claiming you.”

“W-what?” Chad asked, feeling a familiar heat build behind his aching eyes, but Mal didn’t seem to hear him.

“Anyone have any objections?” she asked the other VKs.

“No,” Evie grinned.

“Come _on_ ,” Jay groaned.

Carlos made a sign for her to hurry up. “Just do it all already.”

“What?” Chad repeated.

“I’m claiming you,” Mal repeated. “And what’s mine is theirs, so _we’re_ claiming you. You’re ours.”

She seemed so… certain, when she said it, so furiously _genuine_ that Chad couldn’t help the tears that spilled down his cheeks; because he had allies but he’d never felt this _wanted_ , even if strategically it was the best option for Mal if she couldn’t have Ben-

“Stop,” she ordered, gently brushing away tears. “You’re overthinking again.”

“You thought I was dumb until like, two minutes ago,” he murmured. “You guys don’t have to do anything to get my help, Mal. It’s already yours-”

“I know that,” she huffed. “I’m trying to get you to see that you can have our help _too_. That we like you, _dipshit_.” 

“Jay likes you a _lot_ ,” Carlos added, smiling a relentless grin. “You won’t believe how much he _whines-_ ”

“Shut up,” Jay hissed, chucking a pillow at him.

“You’re ours,” Mal said. “If you want it. And if you don’t- you’ll still have our protection and our friendship. That isn’t contingent on this.”

“Wait,” Ben interrupted, voice sounding shaky. “By ‘claiming’ him do you mean- like, romantically?”

Mal rolled her eyes. “ _Obviously_.” 

“What?” They wanted- he’d already explained that they’d have his help regardless but they wanted _him_ , romantically speaking. All of them. “Mal, you don’t have to waste your-”

“You are not a _waste_ ,” she snapped, pulling him into a furious hug. For someone so small, she could be forceful when she wanted. “And I’m sick of everyone who makes you think that! Fuck them.” She pulled back to grab his face again, because this was just- her thing. “We _like_ you, Chad. We like the way you don’t freak out when Jay gets victory crazy, we like the way you _ask_ us our opinions and never try to talk about the Isle or treat us like we’re freaks and _yes_ , other people do that, but other people are not _you_. They aren’t secret schemers with a dopey smile and sharp wit who make us feel _special_. So could you just- like, _trust_ that we’d want you?!”

It was hard, not to cry now, because most people _didn’t_ want Chad. It was sort of the story of his life. And he’d come to terms with it, he just- hadn’t expected that streak to end because of a handful of lost teenagers finding their way in the world, who were so brave and strong and lovely that it made his chest ache.

“ _Mal_ ,” he gasped quietly, because he didn’t know what else to say, didn’t know how to articulate any of this. “You can- there’s better options. I mean- _Doug_.” He motioned at the other teen who startled at his inclusion. “Or Ben. Or Doug _and_ Ben.” Chad couldn’t really think of a better combination. “I really am an asshole. That part’s not a lie.”

“We _know_ ,” Mal snapped, stepping into his space. “But you are _our_ asshole.”

“Look,” Chad cried, couldn’t _stop_ crying and fuck it all; Jane and Lonnie were going to kill him. “So- the potion _did_ work.”

The room stilled.

“…what?” Mal asked, deceptively quiet.

Jay had no such restraint. “No way. You didn’t act any differently and we _tried-_ ”

“Well,” Chad swallowed. This was it; this was the thing he had to say to reinstate some kind of normality over the situation. “I’ve been- sort of… pretending not to be in love with Ben for years. So. It wasn’t hard to just- keep doing that.”

Mal stared at him.

“ _What?!_ ”

Chad flinched against Ben’s sudden exclamation, ready to pour out a slew of apologies before he was- tackle hugged, or something, Ben using his stupid long limbs to hug _both_ Mal and Chad to him. “What the- _why didn’t you tell me?_ ”

“Because you’re straight?” Ben was so stupid, why he asked such dumb things, Chad did not know. 

“Oh, sweet evil,” Mal laughed, taking Ben’s sudden proximity with more grace than Chad’s stuttering heart. “How can you be so smart and yet so stupid.”

“It’s a _gift_ ,” Chad shot on reflex, earning a furious scowl from the purple-haired teen.

“Chad,” Evie cut in before they could devolve into arguments. “Ben loves you. He’s been trying to get you to like _him_ for months.”

“What? That’s not-” He looked to Ben, who was just- smiling that stupid smile. “ _What?_ ”

“The practice dates weren’t a clue?” Carlos asked, wandering towards their huddle. “They were regular dates, dude.”

“Yeah, except we didn’t get to kiss him,” Doug mumbled, looking… annoyed, by this?

“Yes.” Carlos grinned. “Because _I_ prioritized.”

“Wait, did you kiss-?” Ben’s head frantically turned between Chad and Carlos. “ _Guys_.”

“What is happening?” Chad asked, feeling off balance.

“ _Hades_ ,” Mal muttered, letting her head thump down on Chad’s shoulder. “You’re so convinced no one could be attracted to you that you missed the fact that Ben and Doug would gladly fight for you honor. Also Jay, and you know, _all of us_.”

“ _What?_ ” Chad repeated, feeling faint.

“We’re going to work on this,” Mal decided. “This is a work in progress. I’m okay with that.”

“Can I be part of your claim?” Ben was asking, like that was a thing he could do. It was _not_ a thing he could do. “Mal, _please-_ ”

“Harm one hair on his head and I’ll break you,” Mal promised, squeezing Chad tight. “But yes.”

“Also Doug!” Evie cheered, wrapping an arm around the dwarf-kin’s shoulders. “We’re claiming him too.”

“More the merrier,” Jay grumbled, hiding his face in his hands like this physically pained him.

“Shut up, you love it,” Carlos chirped, punching him in the shoulder. 

Chad blinked. “I um- I think I’m going to pass out now.”

And then everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was all she wrote!
> 
> Until next time :)


End file.
